The Oldest Excuse in the Book

[galateus]

Oh Silver Age, when writers could pen lines like these and submit them to an approving editor:

Woman: You certainly had a change of heart. Last time I saw you, you ran away from me.

Man: Let me explain! I really did want to be with you, but I left you because I'd suddenly remembered I had an appointment to interview a famous king of the hoboes. [sic]

Comments

[sailorlibra]

I'm gonna start using that excuse now. It beats "I wanted to go out with you on Monday, but I was sick" by a mile.

[mcbangle]

Wait a minute! You mean my date didn't have an appointment to interview a famous king of the hobos?

[jlroberson]

Always the last to know.

[stubbleupdate]

Not just any King of the Hoboes - a famous king of the hoboes

[mullon]

Someone call John Hodgman, we have a lead!

[darkblade]

Oh My God! This is the greatest context free Silver Age panel I have seen in my life!

There is this woman who only has a quarter of a face. I had a quarter of a face once. That was some Tuesday. And this man who aparently ran away from her! I'd run away from her. She only has a quarter of a face! I mean God!

The man says he didn't run away due to her lack of face. Which is quite a surprise really. He has an apointment to interview the legendary King of Hoboes! I was the King of Hoboes once! In fact I think I still am. I don't remember this guy interviewing me? Maybe it was all the drugs. Or maybe this man is a LIAR! A lying liar who lies!

My fragile views of reality have been shattered. If you can't trust supepmaheroes to tell us the truth then who can you trust?!? Next thing you know they will say that selling your marriage to the devil to bring your elderly aunt who is at peace back to life isn't heroic!

This is Chester A. Bum saying. CHANGE?!?!?!?! You got CHANGE!?!? Come on help a guy out! I need to give more interviews to give superheroes more cover stories!

[darkblade]

Wow that one got away from me. I just wanted to make a King of Hobos joke.

[kiplingkat]

I don't care.

You win tasty internets!

[darkblade]

Yay! Not just normal internets but "tasty" internets. I shall never need food again. ^-^

[joysweeper]

*applause*

I love TGWTG.

[darkblade]

I normally prefer Linkara and Spoony but Doug has his moments.

[superfangirl1]

Applaud this great post with love!

[fungo_squiggly]

Woman: "So you ditched me for some hobo?"

Man: "Yeah, that sounded a whole lot better in my head than it did out loud."

[stubbleupdate]

With a classy dame, you need to take them out to a fancy restaurant before you can get head.

With a hobo, you'll maybe have to splash out a fiver

[auggie18]

Some AWESOME HOBO KING.

[box_in_the_box]

I love how utterly deadpan he is about it.

[jlroberson]

And what are the dazzling delights and wonders of the court of the hobo king? Dancing tramp maidens? Synchronized windshield wipers? The finest of apple wine?

[geoffsebesta]

Bulldogs with rubber teeth, hens that lay soft-boiled eggs. Little streams of alcohol a-tricklin' down the rocks, stuff like that.

And you never have to change your socks!

[darklorelei]

You win!

[arilou_skiff]

Goddamnit, now I can't get that song out of my head.

[jlroberson]

What I wonder is, "A FAMOUS king of the hobo(e)s", which implies there are many, and that some are not as well-known. I imagine some resent that and want their day in the sun. (So to speak. Hobos actually prefer shade) Sounds like Germany before Bismarck.

Now I fear the Hobo Wars.

[buttler]

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

[jlroberson]

Obviously I throw my lot in with King Joe of the Western Alleyways.

[proteus_lives]

And they hung the jerk that invented the work.

[geoffsebesta]

Socialists!

[geoffsebesta]

"And Jack Black had a message for you, sweetheart: You can't win."

I'm sorry

[jlroberson]

Re: I'm sorry

[geoffsebesta]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm sorry

[jlroberson]

I'm sorry, I thought you meant FRANK Black when I posted that...(it's a line from the Pixies' "I've Been Tired")

Re: I'm sorry

[geoffsebesta]

yeah, I had to save that and put it up on facebook. Well played!

Jack Black was a hobo about a hundred years ago who wrote an excellent book called "You Can't Win."

Re: I'm sorry

[jlroberson]

I've heard of that--it was, I believe, a big favorite of, and influence on, William S. Burroughs.

Or if you prefer

[jlroberson]

Re: Or if you prefer

[chipsnopotatoes]

hehe! i was about to ask, what's a hoboe?

Re: Or if you prefer

[superfangirl1]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hoboe

[lakrids404]

America, never change

[kenn_el]

"Oh, I thought you said 'oboes'! But you wouldn't be blowing a hobo."

[lamashtar]

Tell me this isn't a young Reed Richards talking to Susan about Prince Namor in his Hoboken hobo days?

[filthysize]

This excuse sounds fishy. I'm pretty sure Frank Castle already killed the king of the hoboes.

[darkblade]

Well the former prince of hoboes who was off consorting with the court of the bums when the Punisher attacked his family took his place on the thrown since then.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Is it wrong that I am suddenly imagining a swords-and-sorcery epic involving this Hobo King? Yesss, it all falls into place now - this 'interview' turns into an epic quest on behalf of the Hobo King to save the kingdom of Mulliganztew from the evil Dark Lord Beatcop! Meanwhile, treachery is at hand in the Hobo King's court, as his treacherous advisors, Minister Givem Dabumzrush and Brother Canya S. Adime plot to strip Mulliganztew of its greatest treasure - the venerated Comfortable Park Bench! It's an epic! An EPIC, I tell you, that spans six books, and by the time the guy in the tuxedo is finished telling about how he defeated Lord Beatcop and his Shiny Badge of Doom, he's going to be talking to himself, because his girlfriend will have vacated the premises.

[espanolbot]

When I was on holiday in Chicago a couple of years ago, I met a guy who called himself Shakespeare, King of Bums.

He was awesome. ^^

[oakenguy]

Even weirder, I remember a Donald Duck comic from the '70s where he's running a motel, horribly, but thinks his luck has changed when he hears a King has booked a room for the night. He rolls out red carpets, alerts the media...and then all his dreams turn to ashes when the King turns out to be the King of the Hobos.

I didn't understand back then why this was such a buzzkill, and I still don't.