In honor of the Superbowl: SuperPro!

[proteus_lives]

Greetings True Believers! I got off early from the work to watch the SB with some friends. (For all the good it did me, goddamned Saints.) I thought I'd make myself feel better by posting one of Marvel's great, late and unlamented series: NFL SuperPro!

It is perhaps the worst Marvel comic of all time. I'm glad I own an issue of it. Enjoy! For this is crack and it's what we're here for!



Suggested tags: char: superpro, title: superpro, creator: fabian nicieza, publisher: marvel comics



The plot does not matter. Something about a crime boss, game fixing and the NFL. Just roll with it!

This dude is trying to kill another dude.




Football pun, hooray!

Dude is shot by another dude. SuperPro gives chase and......cameo!



Gratuitous thy name is Spidey.

And he has a wise black friend!



The origin of SuperPro!



Some assassins go to kill a NFL player, SuperPro leaps into action!







Oh, man I wish I had #2. Quick Kick was a placekicker turned ninja. It's crazy, reading through the whole thing is like trying to solve the Lament Configuration or saying Candyman five times in the mirror. It's dangerous.

If anyone has other issues, please post them!

Comments

[box_in_the_box]

These scans make this comic look much, much better than it actually was.

Seriously, this was some shithouse storytelling, enough to earn this title a mention as one of the worst comics ever made, alongside Street Poet Ray, a comic book so indefensibly awful that even Kurt Busiek, The World's Nicest Human, calls it complete crap.

None of this is to discourage you from posting more scans. Like Jack Chick, these are so jaw-droppingly bad that they must be shared and inflicted upon others. :)

[cleome45]

Do you have that list somewhere? I need to see how many of the, er, "winners," I've actually read and/or owned.

[box_in_the_box]

I actually just now tried to find it, and I'm starting to suspect it was on Geocities or Angelfire, because I'm getting a lot of dead links. :(

The list included NFL SuperPro, Street Poet Ray, the issues of Power Pack where they turned the book grim-and-gritty, and the Hulk annual where the entire story centers on the Hulk attempting to rape She-Hulk.

[proteus_lives]

"and the Hulk annual where the entire story centers on the Hulk attempting to rape She-Hulk."

Oh great, now I might have to re-post that! ;)

[box_in_the_box]

Dude, on THIS comm? You KNOW you have to!

That was one of those stories where I literally looked at the page and said out loud, to an empty room, "I DID NOT JUST FUCKING READ HULK-ON-SHE-HULK RAPE-FIC PUBLISHED IN CANON BY MARVEL."

[proteus_lives]

Ha! I'll dig it up tomorrow after work and post it. Watch for it!

[box_in_the_box]

Poor Paul Jenkins. He's a very nice man who told some great Spider-Man stories, but ... Jesus.

[proteus_lives]

He has done some great Spidey stories.

The Hulk annual has the feel of he thought it was a great idea at 3am the night before.

[box_in_the_box]

To be fair, this was when Marvel was in its Fuck It We'll Get Jenkins To Fix Everything Byrne Fucked Up mode, and I think it spread him a bit thin.

[proteus_lives]

Posted it!

Enjoy the crack!

[cleome45]

Well, I was lucky enough to not own those, and the only one I even actually heard of was Street Poet Ray. However, I did once own several issues of US1-- just in case that earns me any anti-cred in this thread. :D

[foxhack]

Tried feeding those old addresses into the Wayback Archive? I've found a lot of old Geocities sites archived there, dude.

[box_in_the_box]

Good suggestion. Thanks!

[proteus_lives]

Oh, it was awful, the plot holes were big enough to pilot the Galactica through.

But I do admit a certain affection for it. Jack Chick is a good comparison. Both of them should be kept on file for their wonderful crack and as a warning from history.

[box_in_the_box]

The one "fan" page for it that I can no longer find online was fucking hilarious for how much it detailed the WTF plot points. It was like the book's concept was storyboarded by a room full of people with head injury traumas. It made Chuck Austen look coherent.

[proteus_lives]

Fabian admitted he did to get free NFL tickets and he's been rightfully taking flack for it ever since.

[box_in_the_box]

Everybody has their off-moments, I suppose.

[sarno001]

"Off-moments"? Dude, free NFL tickets! Good on him! He could have written Superpro as a Dallas cheerleader that gained her powers through experimental testosterone supplements in an effort to draw attention to the plight of women's football players and I'd support this.

Throw in a slice of apple pie and you've got yourself a true all-American comic!