And they shall tremble at the coming of... the Chicken Hawk!

[seriousfic]

Say you're Cobra Commander. You want to take over the world. Inevitably, you're going to recruit some odd characters to help you do it. But after a while, it must get to you sharing an office with guys who dress like this. But if metal suspenders, a codpiece, thigh-high boots, and a hairstyle that went out of fashion in WW1 aren't enough to make you snap, what can?



Note: Cobra Commander has taken off his mask and is in disguise as, uh, a gay beatnik?



I kinda imagine Larry Hama getting a memo about this new Cobra action figure he has to work into the storyline, looking at the picture, and reaching for that vodka.



I'm not cutting anything out, they really do go straight from the guy who dresses like a Smurf in the Ku Klux Klan telling off someone else's fashion sense, to that. And now you know how the Joes pay for all their equipment: credit card commercials. See how they keep in practice?



Kids, anytime you see a man dressed as an animal get that excited while he's using the computer, call an adult.



BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He's just so... heh... DETERMINED!



Perhaps I'm being unfair to the guy. After all, Falcon was an Avenger and Cap's sidekick, and he had only one trained bird. Chicken Hawk Raptor has several. Oh, and did I mention he's an accountant too? Ladies, try to keep it down to a dull roar.



By now, Cobra Commander is just trying to think of positive things to say so it won't get awkward.




Suggested tags: char: cobra commander, creator: larry hama, publisher: marvel comics, title: g.i. joe