G.I. Joe jumps the S.H.A.R.K.

[seriousfic]

When it comes to titles hit hard by the 90s, G.I. Joe is right up there. You see... wait, that guy looks kinda familiar.





The answer is no.



Man, remember when the Joes fought Nazis?



The phrase "How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?" has never been more literal. How can you read one line of dialogue in that page and not want to shoot yourself for ever thinking Snake Eyes was cool? And then, just to put a cap on it...



Right there with you, Commander. I guess Cobra doesn't sell drugs. Arms dealing, fear rays, assassinations, that's all cool, but NO DRUGS. Hugs, instead.



I knew drugs were bad for you, but I had no idea they turned you into a 40-year-old midget.



Oh, no, Zorro, selling drugs won't get you independence! Naturally, the Joes have a Drug Enforcement Force for just such an occasion. Sadly, the book was canceled before we ever got the Joe task force we truly needed... the G.I. Joe Fashion Attack Center. "Blue stripes, a domino mask, a soul patch, and a flavor saver? Eat lead!"



char: cobra commander, creator: larry hama, publisher: marvel comics, title: g.i. joe

Comments

[joasakura]

Sometimes, things were tough for X-Force. Warpath and Shatterstar eat an awful lot.

Sometimes, cable had to find...jobs... on the side. Jobs that maybe he wasn't so proud of.

[daningram.insanejournal.com]

Wow, did GI Joe get bit by Captain Planet and catch a case of Heavy Handiness?

[thehefner]

Oh Cesspool. I had your action figure and everything. No wonder you were on this list:

http://www.cracked.com/article_17474_7-most-pathetic-gi-joe-characters.html

[zechs80]

I liked Cesspool and the Headhunters. *blush*

[kamino_neko]

Oddly, his file card and card art look more like a badly scarred Bobcat Goldthwait than Cable....

[aaron_bourque]

Do you have any idea what this weapon I'm holding shoots, Zarana?

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!

[icon_uk]

Pretty much, yes. They had to work with the toys that Hasbro were coming out with and Cesspool and his Toxo Vipers, along with the Joes Eco-Force, or whatever they called them were it.

[phosfate]

The "recycled action figures" were rocket-firing Boba Fetts, Super Amigos, and the Mego Greatest American Hero line.

[jlbarnett]

"It's perfect, the international terrorists won't go running to the Feds to have us arrested. They'll just send in a massive number of troops and have us killed without a trial or anything....wait."

[falseaesop]

... I had Cesspool and Eco-Warrior Flint.

They had guns that shot water and color change action. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! COLOR CHANGE ACTION!

[badficwriter]

Yeah, I was going "yeah, it's perfect alright! No cops, just merciless soldiers with their own assault weapons and special equipment!"

[lbd_nytetrayn]

Wow, didn't know the Headman was in the comics, too.

I'd love to see more of this stuff, just to see how Hama dealt with it. He seems to at least make the ridiculousness seem like believable ridiculousness.

At least in a "suspension of disbelief" way.

--LBD "Nytetrayn"

[kamino_neko]

It just occurred to me...Fred LXV - Fred the 65th.

For an elite group, the Crimson Guardsmen (or at least the Freds) really have an amazing turnover... (Then again, this is Cobra...I suppose 'elite' simply means actually hitting something now and again.)