Ninja, please!
Apr. 24th, 2010 10:17 am![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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scans_dailyLike most comics in the 90s, G.I. Joe got bad. How bad? Well, let's take a look at a random cover.
That bad. The Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu clearly states that the fewer ninjas you have, the more badass they are. There's just something cool about an army that just happens to have a ninja on their side. But when the ninjas get their own department and their own stationary and they start taking ninja smoke breaks, propping the door open so their smoke bombs don't cloud up the whole office, it's just a little silly. Here's some more bad things that happened in the 90s.
First off, we have Scarlett's new outfit. You know that old movie where a man sees the face of God and it blinds him? I imagine this would be the inverse of that. Never wear leggings and a tube top onto a battlefield.
Just for comparison, here's her classic outfit, drawn by Adam Hughes. Notice it doesn't look like something a hooker would wear in a disco.
I'd like to say at least the plots didn't suffer, but they had a really weak story where Scarlett leaves the Joes and Cobra offers her a job, which she accepts. Gee, do you think she's a double agent? I don't know why they didn't use an unknown Joe who hasn't been killing Vipers for a hundred issues, since they get a new one in every twelve pages.
Here, Scarlett breaks up with Snake Eyes to establish her cover. Dear, trust me, no greater love hath a man for a woman than to prevent her from being on Ninja Force.
And more of that. Scarlett, did you ever think that maybe Snake Eyes wanted to leave a Post-It in your gun cleaning kit saying "Thinking of you <3 <3 <3" but couldn't? Because he's Snake Eyes? Honestly, half of Cobra became terrorists because of him, you shouldn't expect too much in the way of empathy.
Oh, and did you notice Snake Eyes had a new outfit?
Here he is being accosted by Arabian business ninjas. Just... what the hell is going on here? You'd think a ninja would know to stick with basic black. Instead we have, let's see, silver danskins, a blue vest, a belt that doesn't hold anything up, thigh-high boots, some kind of overambitious elbow pads...
Your mother's dead, Snake Eyes. How can you still look like she dresses you?
Tags: creator: larry hama, publisher: marvel comics, title: g.i. joe
That bad. The Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu clearly states that the fewer ninjas you have, the more badass they are. There's just something cool about an army that just happens to have a ninja on their side. But when the ninjas get their own department and their own stationary and they start taking ninja smoke breaks, propping the door open so their smoke bombs don't cloud up the whole office, it's just a little silly. Here's some more bad things that happened in the 90s.
First off, we have Scarlett's new outfit. You know that old movie where a man sees the face of God and it blinds him? I imagine this would be the inverse of that. Never wear leggings and a tube top onto a battlefield.
Just for comparison, here's her classic outfit, drawn by Adam Hughes. Notice it doesn't look like something a hooker would wear in a disco.
I'd like to say at least the plots didn't suffer, but they had a really weak story where Scarlett leaves the Joes and Cobra offers her a job, which she accepts. Gee, do you think she's a double agent? I don't know why they didn't use an unknown Joe who hasn't been killing Vipers for a hundred issues, since they get a new one in every twelve pages.
Here, Scarlett breaks up with Snake Eyes to establish her cover. Dear, trust me, no greater love hath a man for a woman than to prevent her from being on Ninja Force.
And more of that. Scarlett, did you ever think that maybe Snake Eyes wanted to leave a Post-It in your gun cleaning kit saying "Thinking of you <3 <3 <3" but couldn't? Because he's Snake Eyes? Honestly, half of Cobra became terrorists because of him, you shouldn't expect too much in the way of empathy.
Oh, and did you notice Snake Eyes had a new outfit?
Here he is being accosted by Arabian business ninjas. Just... what the hell is going on here? You'd think a ninja would know to stick with basic black. Instead we have, let's see, silver danskins, a blue vest, a belt that doesn't hold anything up, thigh-high boots, some kind of overambitious elbow pads...
Your mother's dead, Snake Eyes. How can you still look like she dresses you?
Tags: creator: larry hama, publisher: marvel comics, title: g.i. joe
