scans_daily

Do you like porn? Sure, who doesn't? But not all porn likes you. Some porn isn't intended to arouse. Just by looking at it, you can tell it was created only to hurt people. Much like the Necronomicon or a Sonic The Hedgehog fanfic, every detail is clearly poised to attack the sanity of the human being. We were not meant for such as this, and heaven help us if the dark gods who could be aroused by such perversity ever turn their attention upon ignoble man.

I dare not try to crop a preview image of this supposedly erotic tale of Batman and Catwoman, so I'll leave you only with this brief legality pic. Take what fleeting joy you can in it, before all hope is lost.

Well, this doesn't seem so bad. There's our good pal Alfred, here to help us through this story. And even if he sounds less like a refined British valet than a Jersey Shore cast member discussing their genitalia, at least he's drawn properly.

At first, the narrative calls into question the very conventions of the genre, much like the recent Inception toys with the notion that some or all of the movie might be taking place only within the protagonist's head. Could it be that the alter ego of Batman is merely a delusion by Bruce Wayne, who even within proper canon has questionable sanity? Could it be that there is no Joker, no Penguin, no Catwoman, merely a troubled young man living out a desperate fantasy.

And yet, even within this suggested concrete reality, its authenticity cannot be taken for granted. Alfred, Bruce's touchstone to reality and constant mentor figure, chides him for masturbation, drinking, and smoking, then entreats him to have promiscuous sex and visit a swimming pool. Bruce, regressing out of adulthood, can only respond by mocking the very concept of sanity. In an insane world, can any action he takes be truly sane?

Reality continues to be deconstructed. The sleep clothes one would assume Bruce to be wearing are really a full-body straitjacket. Additionally, Bruce calls Alfred "Penisworth," proving that Damian Wayne truly is his son.

Alfred gives Bruce a Batsuit to wear, but it doesn't have a crotch... and Bruce is erect for some reason... and then Selina shows up in some kind of Catwoman-themed burlesque outfit...