Red Robin #16

[superfangirl1]

He saves Lonnie from anarky hideout and sends him to gotham hospital. He then ask Dr. Leslie Thompkins to look after him.

Comments

[punishermax]

But it wasn't really this Boomerang's fault though right? I mean, dude lost his dad just like Tim.

[q99]

This is the dad, he got ressed in Blackest Night and the younger died.

[punishermax]

So he's all young and good looking now? Shit, I wanna become a Black Lantern and get resurrected too.

They outta sell it as a diet plan.

[punishermax]

~A white kitchen. Two women stand by each other laughing an inane jokes as the camera pulls in~

"Wow Janice. You look so thin lately! What's your secret?'

"Well I-"

"I mean before, you looked horrible! I mean, wow you had fat sagging everywhere!"

"....Well, okay I-"

"It was like someone molded a snowman out of grease, lard and pure fat. God you were a horrible load."

".....after this commercial Debra. Anyway, yeah I used the new miracle diet that's sweeping the nation! The Black Lantern diet!"

~she lifts up a Black Lantern ring~

"Don't mind the ominous Latin chanting Debbie!"

"Oh I won't! But how does the ring work?"

"Well here's the man himself, Nekron!"

~camera pans to Nekron. Flesh, rotting and rancid, falls to the floor. The smell of a thousand dead bodies wafts through the air of the sterile 90's style kitchen. To the soft muzak twain of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" Nekron opens his horrific mouth and speaks in the voice that signals the death of a thousand men. The screaming cacophony that signals that all life has a time limit and the hour glass has shifted in his favor~

"Thank you Debra. You do look fetching. Now you rotting piles of meat. I will tell you how to lose pounds so you may possible spread your worthless genes. And look like Lady Gaga"

~he raises the ring~

"Simply place the ring on your finger...."

~he places it on Debra's hand~

" Here is the fun part."

"Really?"

~Nekron shanks her~

"For me at least. Now the ring will work to bring the body back to life. With less pounds!"

~her body begins to twitch and slowly raise up. She stands in a macabre mockery of life and her head lolls around like a string is being pulled.~

"I NEED BLOOD. AND HEARTS TOO. KIDNEYS IN A PINCH"

"Now you see, the pounds are just falling off! Literally. This is kinda gross. Hopefully someone is cleaning tjis up. Yup there goes another. Damn. Anyone else want steak? Anyway, now you must reverse the process of death. And not by being a horrible pile of rotting flesh. But by being normal. So just apply the White Ring...."

~he pulls out a small hamster in a White Lantern uniform~

"Do it."

"I will defeat you. The White Lanterns will prevail over you and all will-"

"Look, unless we want to play 'What part of Nekron's Couch I Am Being Shoved Into' again you will do this."

~The hamster does his stuff and Debra is revived. In a pile of her own blood and fat. Like a normal Saturday at fraternity row~

"OH GOD, I FEEL LIKE MY INSIDES ARE DYING! PLEASE GOD IT HURTS"

~she sobs and vomits~

"Nekron's going to make America thin again. One ring at a time!"

Only 19.99. The blinding pain means it's working!

[superfangirl1]

A internet you just won! :D

[joasakura]

"The blinding pain means it's working!"

I can just hear the jingle now!

[superfangirl1]

I can just see the infomercial.

Men: You too can look lean and fit and look good. All you have to do is die a horrible death. Wait a couple of weeks and then have a loved one put a black lantern ring to resurrect you. After being undead for a other week a white lantern ring would be ship to you after shipping and handling.

Amazing results may varied but we guarantees Or Your Money Back! that you will love your appearance afterwards.

Women: Wow I never look better. (Close up of her smiling and giving a thumps up.)

[icon_uk]

"Lose weight through decomposition! The flesh just melts off you... or gets kind of runny at any rate"

[stig]

I recall Bloom County. Opus gets a giant rubber band fitted over his waist, super-tight; Milo explains "The patient usually dies within a week, after which substantial weight loss begins..."

[jarodrussell]

You want you want you want. You're going for a whole 'nother color there.