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[personal profile] superfangirl1 posting in [community profile] scans_daily

He saves Lonnie from anarky hideout and sends him to gotham hospital. He then ask Dr. Leslie Thompkins to look after him.

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Date: 2010-09-12 12:02 am (UTC)
punishermax: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punishermax
~A white kitchen. Two women stand by each other laughing an inane jokes as the camera pulls in~

"Wow Janice. You look so thin lately! What's your secret?'

"Well I-"

"I mean before, you looked horrible! I mean, wow you had fat sagging everywhere!"

"....Well, okay I-"

"It was like someone molded a snowman out of grease, lard and pure fat. God you were a horrible load."

".....after this commercial Debra. Anyway, yeah I used the new miracle diet that's sweeping the nation! The Black Lantern diet!"

~she lifts up a Black Lantern ring~

"Don't mind the ominous Latin chanting Debbie!"

"Oh I won't! But how does the ring work?"

"Well here's the man himself, Nekron!"

~camera pans to Nekron. Flesh, rotting and rancid, falls to the floor. The smell of a thousand dead bodies wafts through the air of the sterile 90's style kitchen. To the soft muzak twain of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" Nekron opens his horrific mouth and speaks in the voice that signals the death of a thousand men. The screaming cacophony that signals that all life has a time limit and the hour glass has shifted in his favor~

"Thank you Debra. You do look fetching. Now you rotting piles of meat. I will tell you how to lose pounds so you may possible spread your worthless genes. And look like Lady Gaga"

~he raises the ring~

"Simply place the ring on your finger...."

~he places it on Debra's hand~

" Here is the fun part."


~Nekron shanks her~

"For me at least. Now the ring will work to bring the body back to life. With less pounds!"

~her body begins to twitch and slowly raise up. She stands in a macabre mockery of life and her head lolls around like a string is being pulled.~


"Now you see, the pounds are just falling off! Literally. This is kinda gross. Hopefully someone is cleaning tjis up. Yup there goes another. Damn. Anyone else want steak? Anyway, now you must reverse the process of death. And not by being a horrible pile of rotting flesh. But by being normal. So just apply the White Ring...."

~he pulls out a small hamster in a White Lantern uniform~

"Do it."

"I will defeat you. The White Lanterns will prevail over you and all will-"

"Look, unless we want to play 'What part of Nekron's Couch I Am Being Shoved Into' again you will do this."

~The hamster does his stuff and Debra is revived. In a pile of her own blood and fat. Like a normal Saturday at fraternity row~


~she sobs and vomits~

"Nekron's going to make America thin again. One ring at a time!"

Only 19.99. The blinding pain means it's working!

Date: 2010-09-12 01:21 am (UTC)
joasakura: (Default)
From: [personal profile] joasakura
"The blinding pain means it's working!"

I can just hear the jingle now!


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