It's a very bad thing that I think the Glo Balls look kind of tasty, isn't it? (I grew up in the 80s...I was trained to associate radioactive green with food!)
I have so much to say about this, but here's a few:
1. Really. This got past marketing. Really. 2. If I did hand these out at Halloween, I'm sure I'd be warned or arrested. It's that kind of wrong, and my neighborhood is that kind of uptight. 3. I knew there were some unseen side effects of those damn Green Lantern Rings...
I have a few things to say to that as well (oh, us snarky nurses...)
1) and they warn men about hot tubs and low sperm counts...
2) I bet this is the cover excuse they use for why they are so few women lanterns... well, if you saw what happened to Hal's 'nads, what would happen to your eggs...
Oh, Hostess - how far hast thou sunk? 'Glo Balls'? 'The Flash Cakes'? The whole 'Green Lantern's balls' thing aside - what else is there to say that hasn't already been said? - the damn things aren't even BALLS. They're hemispheres - look at the packaging. Still, at least they look vaguely like something a GL might construct with his or her ring - 'The Flash Cakes', on the other hand, don't even have that. The only vague connection they have with the Flash is that if you chorf down a box or three of them, you MIGHT have enough sugar zipping through your system to emulate the Flash's speed for a few brief moments - or at least do your best hummingbird impression. Otherwise, their main distinction is that they're a grammarian's nightmare. 'The Flash Cakes'? Not 'Flash Cakes', oh no - 'THE Flash Cakes'. 'Hey man, you got any The Flash Cakes in stock?' 'Pass me those The Flash Cakes, Jerry.' 'I think I will have one The Flash Cake now, and perhaps another The Flash Cake after lunch.' 'Mm-mmm! I sure do love these The Flash Cakes, with their The Flashy flavor!' Also, that first ad clearly stars Jimmy Olsen, not Superman. Sure, he gets the kids out, but Jimmy's the one who hands out those sweet delicious junk food cakes, without which there would BE no ad - Supes just stands around the sidelines like a big ol' lump. Stop hogging the publicity, Superman!
I'm not sure if there's a corresponding radio or TV ad campaign, but I'm sure if the group hear at s_d gave it much thought, the jingle would practically write itself.
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After all, they're incredibly delicious cakes in a "League" of their own, har har!
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And actually Flashcakes don't sound much safer either.
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1. Really. This got past marketing. Really.
2. If I did hand these out at Halloween, I'm sure I'd be warned or arrested. It's that kind of wrong, and my neighborhood is that kind of uptight.
3. I knew there were some unseen side effects of those damn Green Lantern Rings...
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1) and they warn men about hot tubs and low sperm counts...
2) I bet this is the cover excuse they use for why they are so few women lanterns... well, if you saw what happened to Hal's 'nads, what would happen to your eggs...
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You think SOMEONE would point out these REALLY sound bad.
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:D
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Is Batman riding Superman?
Globalls.
heh.
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Also, that first ad clearly stars Jimmy Olsen, not Superman. Sure, he gets the kids out, but Jimmy's the one who hands out those sweet delicious junk food cakes, without which there would BE no ad - Supes just stands around the sidelines like a big ol' lump. Stop hogging the publicity, Superman!
GLO-BALLS! THE MUSICAL!!!
(No use of Christmas music allowed...)
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