Beatles Biography Comic: John Lennon

[sandoz_iscariot]

In honor of what would have been John Lennon's 70th birthday today, here are scans from a Beatles biography comic book published by Dell in 1964. Jelly babies! Fake beards! John's one terrifying creepface!




The comic comes in five parts: bios for each of the Beatles, and a general "history" of the band. Here are excerpts from John's section:



"the serious look of a married man" oh lord

Having been published at the height of Beatlemania, the comic is pretty fluffy, heavily-idealized stuff, in keeping with their "cute and innocent" image at the time.

John's first marriage to Cynthia Powell is depicted as something straight out of a 50s romance comic:


Not shown: the nearby jackhammer drowning out the entire ceremony, the Best Man secretly in love with the groom, the shotgun...

It even tries to put a light spin on John yelling at his fans:


NO HE IS KIDDING WHEN HE TELLS YOU TO SHUT UP, REALLY

Also, John only has one facial expression. Ever.



See? He even smiles while yelling at his barber. (And Inexplicably Ginger Brian Epstein gazes longingly on)


You know it's a real art gallery because the people wear berets. Also the artist apparently thought Julian Lennon was a girl, IDK.

JELLY BABY ATTACK


Beatlemania hits, making it hard to walk around freely. BUT JOHN AND PAUL HAVE A SOLUTION:


Beatles with beards? That would never work out.



And hordes of innocent young men have their beards brutally ripped off their faces. THANKS LENNON AND MCCARTNEY.

But I'll leave you with a wisecrack:

Comments

[kingrockwell]

i didn't even realize he was supposed to be playing harmonica in that panel
i thought he was coyly holding his hands over his mouth in fake shock or something

George probably wore the beard on purpose. He's such a troll.

[sandoz_iscariot]

Things this artist couldn't draw: harmonicas, more than one facial expression, Pete Best...

god, if the Beatles were a band today they'd be such trolls

[psychopathicus_rex]

In what context are you using that term? I presume you don't mean 'creep who provokes people on the 'net', but I'm not sure what else it could be referring to.

[pseudo_tsuga]

They used to say shit just to get a reaction out of people; I assume he's referring to that.

[psychopathicus_rex]

I suppose - I don't really think it's the same thing, though. I mean, sure, the Beatles used to say some crazy things, but there's a hell of a difference between having a little fun with your audience and actively trying to provoke and incense random strangers for your own twisted pleasure. The Beatles messed with people's heads all the time, but they weren't trying to make them mad.

[sandoz_iscariot]

actively trying to provoke and incense random strangers for your own twisted pleasure. The Beatles messed with people's heads all the time, but they weren't trying to make them mad.

The Beatles, John Lennon in particular, could be cruel and deliberately provoking, not just to "random strangers" but also close friends and associates like Brian Epstein. Heck, in the the Hamburg years alone John flashed nuns, walked on stage naked with a toilet seat around his neck, and called their German fans "Nazis." Their jokes weren't all innocent, well-meaning mischief-making.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Wasn't saying they were, necessarily - although I'll admit I didn't know about that stuff - just that there's a difference between messing around with people and, well, being trolls. The Beatles may not have been perfect, but they never struck me as being outright NASTY.

[kingrockwell]

"just that there's a difference between messing around with people and, well, being trolls"

That's, uh, pretty much the definition of trolling, so no, there really isn't.
hell, even the unmalicious mischief-making still fits

And like she just said, some of it could've been pretty malicious, no matter how they struck you.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Perhaps the term 'messing around' is too broad for what I mean. Trolling is BROADLY covered by it, yes, but I'd say it counts more as a sort of passive-aggressive form of bullying - you taunt people to get a rise out of them, secure in the knowledge that they have no idea who YOU are, and you may not even be there at that point. The stuff the Beatles did is different because they did it in PERSON - the people they messed with saw who did it, which left them open for retaliation in kind. If you're going to mess with people, that at least is a more honest way of doing it.

[kingrockwell]

And it's still trolling.

You're just going to have to accept that folks use the phrase for more situations than you might, not always over the internet, not always necessarily bullying.
Internet-trolling is only one type of trolling, it is not the full extent of the concept.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Well, all I can say is that I'VE never heard anyone use the term 'trolling' to refer to in-person pranks or bullying or head games. Every time I've heard the term used, it's referred to people on the 'net.

[kingrockwell]

Well, you hadn't at least, but hey, live and learn.

[psychopathicus_rex]

OK, fine, I hadN'T, but apart from you, I still haven't. I've yet to hear of someone be called 'you big troll!' for bullying someone, for instance.

[wasabi.livejournal.com]

Motto. It's like he's going "tee hee, I'm in a comic!"

[skjam]

And of course, British jelly babies are not the same thing as American jelly beans--the latter *hurt* when you throw them at musicians.

[hurricane-jam.livejournal.com]

Curses! Beat me to it!

[punishermax]

Holy Shit Lennon rules. The huge grin as he tells that girl to shut up is the funniest thing ever.

[geoffsebesta]

that pose where people grab their chin and try to look charming? I hate that pose.

[punishermax]

Looks like he's holding a John Lennon mask up to his face.

[sunaya]

Oh my god, it really does. Can't be unseen now.

[punishermax]

It's actually Paul under the mask.

Mother of God...Paul killed John years ago....he created a clone after he was able to gain the technology....he posed as John during that time...

Holy shit people we are through the looking glass over the fucking rainbow and beyond the fucking wardrobe, motherfucking Aslan is teaching Bible stories and the White Rabbit's late, hold on to your seats mother fuckers we got a bumpy road ahead of us.

[kingrockwell]

It's why his face never changes!

[hurricane-jam.livejournal.com]

Jelly babies aren't jelly beans. Uh, right? I thought jelly babies were gummies. I think I'd rather have people throwing jelly babies at me than jelly beans. That would hurt.

[nezchan]

The real thing are pretty hard. We had a shop that imported them, so they were popular with the Doctor Who crowd.

[hurricane-jam.livejournal.com]

I know, I've tried to eat them. It's a work out. But still, they don't have a candy shell.

[nezchan]

The trick is to treat them like a hard candy at first, and they soften. Same deal with floral gums.

[skalja]

They're not THAT hard. Granted, American gummies are much softer than their European counterparts, so different standards I suppose.

[teamrodent]

I guess George really was the forgotten Beatle. :(

[redstar]

I like the guy in the red beret in the art gallery, who's glancing worriedly offscreen. I get the feeling he's trying to identify his KGB contact (actually a KGB agent undercover as a CIA agent undercover as a KGB agent) so that they can swap berets, thereby passing on the missile plans encoded in the microdot hidden in the little tassel thing on top.

Also, John Lennon should be called "Boss Beatle" all the time.

[destroyed]

"Crenshaw's the mole! And his name's not Crenshaw, it's Kremenski. Definitely Russian, possibly a Jew - I don't know. Thoughts?!?"

[quietprofanity]

This post is the best post. XD

[superfangirl1]

Happy birthday Lennon. :)

[inexpediency]

Jelly and corn flakes?

John

John I love you but those are really lame favorite foods D:

(Also, happy would-be birthday.)

[meatwhichdreams]

I

I have to agree with you

those are incredibly lame favorite foods how can you just sit there smiling you're breaking my heart

[inexpediency]

Jooooooooohn

[cainofdreaming]

When the Beatles unfortunately mentioned that they enjoyed jelly babies, American's jelly beans, they started a wild new form of greeting! Jelly babies, tossed with loving abandon, hailed them at many of their appearances...

Well, it's a good thing no one mentioned that they liked brick houses. That'd have put a Pythonesque spin on the whole thing...

[psychopathicus_rex]

Fact: When 'With a little help from my friends' was written, the line 'What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?' originally went 'Would you stand up and throw tomatoes at me?' Ringo insisted that this be changed, because the whole jelly babies thing was still fresh in his mind, and he didn't want crazy fans to throw tomatoes at him while he performed.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Yeah, that little grin is kind of creepy. I mean, yes, that WAS the way he grinned, more or less, but nobody grins like that ALL the time.
And come on - corn flakes and jelly? Corn flakes, OK, but JELLY IS NOT A FOOD. It is a condiment, or an ingredient in a sandwich. It's not a stand-alone thing. You never hear someone saying 'boy, could I go for some jelly right now!'

[cainofdreaming]

Maybe he meant corn flakes and jelly together?

Okay, so that doesn't make it any better.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Yeee-eccchh! My gorge rises at the very thought.

[sailor_bardiel]

What we in England call jelly, you in America call 'jello'. It is to that that John was referring. What you call 'jelly', we call jam.

And yes, jam is a food. Just because it's eaten with other things doesn't not make it a food.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Ah - so it's a translation issue, and the artist didn't know what he was on about. I see.
I really think jam/jelly shouldn't count as a food - you never eat it by itself, which to my mind makes it a condiment. I mean, is mayonnaise a food or a condiment? What about mustard, or ketchup, or salsa? No one ever eats those things on their own, and they're all classified as condiments. (Of course, by those classifications, peanut butter is NOT a condiment, as people eat it on its own all the time, despite it being INTENDED as a condiment - but I can live with that.)

[timgueugen]

John's first marriage to Cynthia Powell is depicted as something straight out of a 50s romance comic

But check out the expression on the reverend's face. "This marriage won't last long, mark my words."

[pseudo_tsuga]

I don't like John Lennon, but no one deserves this.

[recognitions]

Ahaha sure John is a devoted family man who just happened to take a stroll into an art gallery one day. What could possibly go wrong?