Gabby's Playhouse: Discussing Sexism on the Internet

[mad]

So, recently Kate Beaton made some comments on Twitter about how sometimes guys that like her work will respond with comments she finds creepy/uncomfortable/offensive.

Gabby's Playhouse then did a webcomic entitled "How Every Single Discussion About Sexism and Woman-Type Stuff on the Internet (and real life) Has Ever Happened And Ever Will Happen, Always, Forever, Until the Earth Finally Falls Into The Sun. (Or until the patriarchy is finally dismantled.)"




[Source.]

I don't quite get that last panel, but the rest of it is kinda recognizable.

Comments

[halialkers]

Trying again as my first comment was a bit er......too irrelevant: What kind of jackass makes a comment like that and is surprised someone is offended by it? I mean there's little good that comes of comments like that on the Internet, where most communication is in a text-only medium and there is little reason of necessity to trust people. Telling someone you wanna fuck them over the Internet, unless it's a personals ad, is entirely inappropriate, though US culture has patented defending the indefensible.

[liara_shadowsong]

Yes. That sort of comment is really only appropriate if it's to someone you know, who will know you are joking, and who you know will know you are joking and not be offended by the joke. There are many things that are a bad idea to say, out loud or in print, unless you already know for certain that the circumstances are such that you will not come off as creepy and offensive. Those circumstances do exist, but some people automatically assume that a situation is one of those when it isn't, and that bothers me.

[halialkers]

And IMHO there's no way on the Internet unless you actually know the person IRL and are certain they will not misinterpret it to say it. Nothing on the Intarwebs is private, after all, and that comment could come back to haunt both people (the cynic in me says the woman, of course, would be affected more by it due to sexism double-standards).

[liara_shadowsong]

And if they're both women? 'Cause I've seen that. With replies that made it clear to onlookers who might otherwise be offended that they were just joking around with one another. Not saying anything online is private, but there are circumstances that come across many orders of magnitude less skeevy than most, if not offense-immune (and, honestly, what is completely immune? no, really and truly, please tell me because I honestly want to know. sometimes, people get offended by really odd things that I have trouble figuring out what they are offended about. if I remember an example, I'll share it)

[halialkers]

Yes, or both men. I've made that comment to one of my best buds who's about as weird as I am. It's kind of a running joke in our little circle, but if someone random putz on the Internet says it? If it's not anonymous and on LJ or DW insta-ban.

[liara_shadowsong]

*nods* All my point is, is that most of the time it is super-ick, but the actual phrase? Can occasionally be an amusing in-joke, but only with someone you know well. A matter of circumstance, you know? With the default response being offended, barring limited exceptions (that do, nevertheless, exist... although maybe the internet isn't the best place for that joking, even with the people who it would be un-creepy with talking in person as opposed to in writing). Hm... Does it ever seem to you that the internet has an entirely different structure of etiquette from the real world, even if there are an overwhelming number of people who ignore that etiquette even exists online? If I was the sort to study this sort of thing, I imagine it would make for a fascinating research paper.

[halialkers]

To an extent, perhaps. It's not that etiquette or politeness exist as much offline as they should, either. It's amplified on the Internet due to semi-anonymity amplifying in at least some people tendencies to jackassery that are unfortunately typical of culture overall.

Ahem:

[halialkers]

And my apology to the community for my near/actually (depends on how strictly one defines the term) derailing comment. The comic actually has been validated and I helped contribute to that and so I offer a Mea Culpa Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa and thank the mods for freezing the thread as I requested.

Re: Ahem:

[kingrockwell]

"The comic actually has been validated and I helped contribute to that"

I'm kinda hoping this is just poorly worded because it comes off entirely too self-congratulatory. The comic would be perfectly valid without your contribution. I just don't know what this comment even means.

As for freezing the thread, we did that because the thread was derailing. We hadn't even realize you'd requested we do so when we froze it and that had no effect on our decision there.

Re: Ahem:

[halialkers]

It was poorly worded. it was an attempt to prevent further wank. Congraulating myself on starting it is er......not my thing. I'd assumed that the request to lock the thread had been the motivator and it wasn't. My apologies for this particular statement, it seems I'm having a bit of problems with clarity.

I was attempting to apologize for starting unnecessary wank and had figured that my statement that I wished the thread closed having realized that I'd started that had something to do with the closing. I do not consider it a laudatory thing. What I meant by "has been validated" is that it made a point that men tend to defend indefensible sexist statements and then I went ahead and defended an indefensible sexist statement in a knee-jerk reaction. I meant that my reaction helped actually prove the point that men do not react well to being called out.

Essentially it made a point about how men react poorly to being called out and then I went and reacted poorly based on a superficial reading and started an unnecessary brouhaha, showing that the comic was in fact correct as a predictor of how men reacted to these discussions.

Re: Ahem:

[kingrockwell]

Okay, that makes a lot more sense. Thank you for the clarification.

Re: Ahem:

[halialkers]

No problem. It was very badly worded and for that I apologize.

[nezchan]

What happens all too often is someone makes a comment like that which is an accepted thing among their close friends, without realizing context makes a huge difference, or that it was sexist in the first place. Then when they get called on it, they're aghast, because it's IMPOSSIBLE that THEY should be MISTAKEN! Obviously, it's the person complaining who's got them wrong!

Then you get this whole defensive reaction, and it usually goes pretty much like the comic in the OP.