Gabby's Playhouse: Discussing Sexism on the Internet

[mad]

So, recently Kate Beaton made some comments on Twitter about how sometimes guys that like her work will respond with comments she finds creepy/uncomfortable/offensive.

Gabby's Playhouse then did a webcomic entitled "How Every Single Discussion About Sexism and Woman-Type Stuff on the Internet (and real life) Has Ever Happened And Ever Will Happen, Always, Forever, Until the Earth Finally Falls Into The Sun. (Or until the patriarchy is finally dismantled.)"




[Source.]

I don't quite get that last panel, but the rest of it is kinda recognizable.

Comments

[greenmask]

We'll give you the knock when it's time to come out.

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

I have to keep reminding myself "better than a hundred years ago", because the internet is not offering any sense of progress, of forward momentum, of learning.

Well, just this week they got a creepily homophobic dickhead to resign from a school board he was on. Does that count?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/28/arkansas.anti.gay.resignation/index.html?section=cnn_latest

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

and now I feel bad that my first reaction upon loading the link was "Hey, she's really cute."

Oh, man... when I saw that photo of her with Eleanor Roosevelt on her LJ a long time back, I found myself telling my husband, "Damnit, she's a grown woman, and if I were her I'd find it patronizing as hell, but I kinda want to pinch her cheeks, she's so cute!"

[benicio127]

I honestly wonder about the one in six women have been sexually assaulted statistic. Because I truly think it's much higher than that. The majority of women I know have been sexually assaulted in some way, including myself. And that's not even counting stalking and intimidation that myself and other girlfriends have faced.
I honestly believe that statistic has a lot to do with underreporting (due to shame, stigma, distrust of police, etc.) I could honestly see that statistic being much closer to one in four.

[ravenous_raven]

My first thought was, "I thought she was blonde?" Because when she depicts herself in her comics, she doesn't fill in her hair...but then, I had the same impression with Tohru in FRUBA.

[big_daddy_d]

Sweet icon you have there.

[felinephoenix]

You're me?

Then why don't I have such an awesome Richard Pryor icon?

[kingrockwell]

I've actually heard it given as one in four before.

[felinephoenix]

I have nothing to add, but this comment is perfect. Thank you.

[kingrockwell]

I dunno, the fact that our society could still engender that kind of creepy homophobic dickheadedness kinda makes that one seem like a pyrrhic victory.

Re: Me too!

[big_daddy_d]

The rest of the internet is a different matter, though. *scowls at rest of the internet*

Yea, I found out about 4chan..and I personally call it everything you will hate about the internet all rolled up into one package..well maybe not all of 4chan but specifically this /b/ thread I heard so much about.

[blackruzsa]

*headdesk*

Yes. We find many idiotic people on the internet, and their being entitled to their opinions will only be a headache if you pay any more attention to them.

[big_daddy_d]

God don't get me started on them...

[icon_uk]

I am not enough of a regular to know the usual suspects, so if there are some total loons in there

Oh we have a lot of loons on here, but usually in the GOOD sense of the term I hasten to add.

Re: Ahem:

[halialkers]

It was poorly worded. it was an attempt to prevent further wank. Congraulating myself on starting it is er......not my thing. I'd assumed that the request to lock the thread had been the motivator and it wasn't. My apologies for this particular statement, it seems I'm having a bit of problems with clarity.

I was attempting to apologize for starting unnecessary wank and had figured that my statement that I wished the thread closed having realized that I'd started that had something to do with the closing. I do not consider it a laudatory thing. What I meant by "has been validated" is that it made a point that men tend to defend indefensible sexist statements and then I went ahead and defended an indefensible sexist statement in a knee-jerk reaction. I meant that my reaction helped actually prove the point that men do not react well to being called out.

Essentially it made a point about how men react poorly to being called out and then I went and reacted poorly based on a superficial reading and started an unnecessary brouhaha, showing that the comic was in fact correct as a predictor of how men reacted to these discussions.

[whitesycamore]

I've heard it given as 1 in 4, too. But when I think about it seriously, I'm pretty sure the majority of women in the world have been/will be sexually assaulted in some way or another, even if it didn't take a form most people would consider "serious". Don't forget being in denial as a reason for under-reporting. A lot of the time people let really fucked up stuff slide because they don't want to make a big deal over it, because they don't even think it IS a big deal.

And I know that some people think identifying oneself as a victim of sexual assault is over-sharing or TMI or whatever, but for what it's worth I think it's a brave and helpful act. So yeah, I'm one too and we are not at all rare.

[icon_uk]

Oi, I'm nobody's serf thank you very much!

[nezchan]

Oh, I'm sure if there were an Elseworlds that contained Lord Grayson, you could be convinced to try it out for a spell.

[majingojira]

I'm reminded of a quote from a Dresden Files story that was recently published (like, a few days ago).

This is the SECOND time I've used it in such a context too.

The narrator, Karrin Murphy, is discussing her dealings with men on the force:

"I grunted. It’s something I picked up over a fifteen-year career in law enforcement. Men have managed to create a complex and utterly impenetrable secret language consisting of monosyllabic sounds and partial words—and they are apparently too thick to realize it exists. Maybe they really are from Mars. I’d been able to learn few Martian phrases over time, and one of the most useful ones was the grunt that meant I acknowledge that I’ve heard what you’ve said; please continue.

"…

"By any measure, that kind of remark [“You look like a hundred miles of bad road”] was insulting. When you were dressed for a date, it was more so.

"But Stallings wasn’t trying to piss me off. The insult was Martian, too, for something along the lines of I have so much regard for you that I went out of my way to create this insult so that we can have the fun of a mildly adversarial conversation. See how much I care?"

That last part sums up the source of the problem. Men don't even consider the remark to be sexist or is of any fasion because of the nature of their communication style.

Admittedly, there's always exceptions (Linear thinking vs. non-linear thinking in a gender equilibrium and all that, fascinating stuff that I'm not versed enough in to speak more on, but would love to know more), but it's a starting point.

People need to know what other people find offensive and why. Sadly, stupid is indemic in all humans, so few people will listen to corrections they are given.

[icon_uk]

If there were a Lord Grayson around, I wouldn't want to be a serf, I'd want to be practising all my dark magic skills and prepping the dungeon for a new guest... So a spell would be involved, but not in the sense you meant.

[whitesycamore]

So much truth in the "blah blah blah natural human urges" panel. How many times has a guy been called out for creepy/objectifying comments and responded with something like:

"All I ever did was comment leeringly on a woman's sex appeal, even though it wasn't the slightest bit germane to the conversation at hand! What, you feminazis are telling me I'm not even allowed to find women sexy anymore? my penis, let me tell you about it..."

Re: Ahem:

[kingrockwell]

Okay, that makes a lot more sense. Thank you for the clarification.

Re: Ahem:

[halialkers]

No problem. It was very badly worded and for that I apologize.

[gargoylekitty]

Oh gods, I hate that 'compliment'. Worse in person, but still pretty gross online.

[whitesycamore]

Ok. But for many women it is, and for good reason. For example women who grew up with a family member who was a rapist, or women who suffered partner violence, or y'know, any woman who was raped and just wasn't expecting that.

Those experiences can put one a little on edge.