But who is Chuck Norris compared to VOLSTAGG?

[blackruzsa]

Two pages from the preview of Warriors Three #2 on CBR






Volstagg praise in form of jokes or others are welcome.

Comments

[aelflar]

Because Earth does not revolve. Volstagg is walking. :)

[blackruzsa]

..... *writes that down*
That
is
brilliant.

[aelflar]

When Volstagg crosses a street, the cars have to look both ways.

(really, i could go on forever..XD)

[misterbug]

Unlike his comrade, Volstagg doesn't need a giant hammer. When he sees a nail sticking out, he uses his finger.

[blackruzsa]

Please do. xD I'm giggling so much that I can't sleep.
So yes.

[blackruzsa]

The last one, I loved best xDDD

[aelflar]

A blind man once ran into Volstagg and got his sight back.

Volstagg is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.

Forest Gump didn`t run for forest. He ran for Volstagg.

Volstagg doesn`t have to hold his breath under water. Water knows better than to try and drown Volstagg.

If all the superheroes came together, they would form Volstagg.

(adapted from http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/) Enjoy XD !

[psychopathicus_rex]

...wait. WHY is Volstagg the reason why Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road? I don't get it.

[bradhanon]

When some people make love, the earth moves.

When Volstagg and Etta Candy made love, the earth ended and was reborn into a timeless dimension composed of chocolate and awesome.

[endis_ni]

Oh, paragon of martial virtue!

I don't think there's any point denying my massive crush on Volstagg right now, is there?

[blackruzsa]

Why not?
YOUR DENIAL IS CRUSHED BY VOLSTAGG'S MIGHTINESS.

[icon_uk]

His copious number of offspring prove the alternate reading as well.

[blackruzsa]

Wow, so I wasn't the only one who read marital, then?

[deliandra]

Never alone.

[dorksidefiker]

Everyone wants Volstagg.

[jlbarnett]

and you know every word of it's true

[filkertom]

I suppose it is possible to not love Volstagg.

Those people are sad, soulless and alone.

[hyperactivator]

The more I see Volstagg the happier I am. And the more I want to see Hildy. Lets face it the Young Avengers could use her.

[blackruzsa]

I know right? Or at least, I want SOMEONE TO BRING HER INTO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE AGAIN. Any of Volstagg's kids, really, although Hildy should be top on the list.

[nezchan]

The whole Volsfamily would be nice. But yeah, Hildy gets priority.

[perletwo]

'Tis a pity she's DC, or I'd say Blue Beetle's friend Brenda was the post-Ragnarok mortal incarnation of Hildy. Seriously. (That isn't even her awesomest scene, just the awesomest one I could find posted here.)

[nezchan]

Actually, speaking of the Volsclan, whatever happened to the two human kids that he was fostering back in the Simonson days? Did they just sort of get forgotten over the years, or what?

[dorksidefiker]

So far as I can tell, Micky and Kevin (I believe those are their names) went the the same way as the rest of the Volstagg clan after Simonson's run; lost in time and space.

[nezchan]

Pity. They did have potential, being humans raised as Asgardians and fed the local produce.

[dorksidefiker]

We can always hope that they get brought back alongside Hildy and have awesome adventures. And there's always fanfiction.

[dorksidefiker]

This.

[karthzon.livejournal.com]

What is this and why have I only found out about it now?

[blackruzsa]

Look for it on CBR xD Warriors Three is about these awesome guys, although I haven't been following. I just saw this when surfing the previews.

[arilou_skiff]

Volstagg is everything Thor should be, yet in the Marvel incarnation, sadly is not. *

* Someone needs to post the "Wooing Sif" part from Madsen's valhalla stuff...

[aelflar]

I would like to subscribe to your logic...

[pallas_athena]

Volstagg *is* truly mighty, and I like this title... but I think that in this scene, Hogun is written too "wordy." The grim one is usually more taciturn, and therein lies his power.

[blackruzsa]

I noticed that too, but perhaps it's just the way he is among Bros.

[dorksidefiker]

Volstagg watches the Watchmen.

Volstagg drank your milkshake.

There is no "I" in team, unless Volstagg says there is.

A watched pot never boils, unless Volstagg is watching, and then it disintegrates instantly.

Volstagg got the early bird, the worm, and the girl.

Volstagg knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Volstagg invented the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster & Chartreuse to help with his hangover.

[blackruzsa]

*slow claps*

[lieut_kettch]

There is no such thing as evolution, there is merely a list of animals that Volstagg has yet to consume.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Volstagg is one of a category of warriors that run on pure ego. I'm not sure if there's a term for them, but basically, they really are as good as they say they are because they KNOW they're as good as they say they are. How could they be anything else? Can a being of pure awesome be anything less than awesome? Unthinkable!

[blackruzsa]

His ego can crush mountains. LITERALLY.

[psychopathicus_rex]

'Volstagg, what are you doing?'

'A challenge has been made to me to crush this mountain. The Lion of Asgard could not reject such a trifling task; 'twould be unworthy of him.'

'But... you're just standing with your back to it.'

'I need not sully myself with doing it by hand! Volstagg scoffs at such crude methods! I KNOW I can crush this mountain; that is enough for me. And verily, SO SHALL IT BE ENOUGH FOR THE MOUNTAIN!'

CRRR-RUNCH!

'And lo! And behold!'

'OK, I'm a little scared now.'

[proteus_lives]

Volstagg was once the judge of an interpretive dance competition. He found them guilty.

The Grand Canyon was the result of Volstagg's balls falling out of his shorts.

Unlike Thor, Volstagg can, will and has repeatedly threatened to use his penis as a hammer.

Volstagg pisses off Santa every year because he's already eaten all the cookies.

Volstagg quested for and consumed Baskin/Robbin's 32nd flavor.

[blackruzsa]

But Thor HAS threatened to use his penis as a hammer xD
....
ALTHOUGH IT WOULD NOT MATCH THAT OF VOLSTAGG, THE VOLUMINOUS (and we aren't talking about his belly)

[halloweenjack]

Volstagg won an eating contest with Matter-Eater Lad. Actually, MEL feigned indigestion, because he knew that eventually everything in the universe would be consumed except for the two of them, and then, well...