Homestuck: Things Just Got Real

[punishermax]

Okay so things in Homestuck land hit a bit of an impasse. Rose has started to go a bit crazy and has basically given up on playing the game, John is working with Vriska (HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH, Dave is dealing with his shit, Jack is locked in a battle with Davesprite and Bro and Jade is just getting ready to enter the world.

What happens?

Literally the worst possible thing that could ever happen in the game. Ever.

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004827

Bec, Jade's omnipotent, all powerful guardian dog just prototyped itself. When something is prototyped, it is added to Jack's power banks, it's a bit like a rubber banding system in a game. As you level up and get stronger so do your enemies. But in this case...

Jack is now all powerful. He just went from being a dangerous badass to being literally the most powerful being in the entire universe. And Vriska just fucked everyone over. AGAIN.




CG: YOU MADE AN UNBEATABLE BOSS IS WHAT YOU DID.

CG: THE IDIOT YOU CALL THE JADE HUMAN WENT AHEAD AND PROTOTYPED HER FREAK OF A LUSUS, WHILE YOU DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP FOR SOME REASON RATHER THAN DOING WHAT A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO DO AND STOP HER FROM BEING SO FUCKING RETARDED.

CG: YOUR VERSION OF JACK, WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW DUMB ENOUGH TO ENTRUST WITH THE QUEEN'S RING, BECAME ESSENTIALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE.
CG: HE THEN WENT ON A RAMPAGE THROUGH YOUR POINTLESS SESSION, WHICH HILARIOUSLY, WAS ALREADY A LOST CAUSE EVEN BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!
CG: I AM JUST BESIDE MYSELF WITH THE SPECTACULAR BREADTH OF YOUR FAILURE.

CG: AND IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH
CG: YOUR "SOLUTION" LATER WOULD BE TO OPEN A RIFT IN SOME GLORIOUS GESTURE OF MEANINGLESS SUICIDE.
CG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW
CG: BUT THE RIFT YOU OPENED ENABLED HIM TO ENTER OUR SESSION, JUST AS WE WERE ABOUT TO CLAIM OUR PRIZE.

CG: AND NOW WE'RE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH HIM!
CG: SO THANKS A LOT, SHIT HEAD.



EB: jade prototyped a lusus?
EB: what's that?
CG: OH
CG: OK, MY BAD, I FORGOT I WAS TALKING TO A MEMBER OF A GENERICALLY BIZARRE ALIEN SPECIES.
CG: I GUESS SOME HUMANS HAVE A LUSUS, WHILE OTHERS DON'T? WHATEVER.
CG: HER LUSUS IS THE CREATURE WHICH SERVES AS HER CUSTODIAN.
EB: oh, you mean her dog!
CG: I GUESS
EB: so, she prototyped becquerel?
EB: why is that so bad?
CG: JOHN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?
CG: IS THIS HOW HUMAN FRIENDSHIP WORKS? YOU JUST DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER?
CG: HER LUSUS EXHIBITS THE PROPERTIES OF A LEGENDARY ENTITY CALLED A FIRST GUARDIAN.
CG: IT IS AN ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITY.

EB: what properties?
CG: OK, FOR STARTERS, NOTICE HOW THE FURIOUS WALL OF FIRE CURRENTLY RUSHING TOWARD YOU IS TURNING GREEN?
EB: uh oh...
CG: YEAH
CG: THOSE FUCKING PROPERTIES.

CG: BUT IT'S A LOT MORE THAN THAT.
CG: AS THE DEFENDERS OF THEIR PLANETS, THEY'RE VIRTUALLY OMNIPOTENT.
CG: PROTOTYPING ONE IS ABSOLUTELY UNCONSCIONABLE.

CG: THE RESULT IS A BOSS A HELL OF A LOT WORSE THAN WHAT WE HAD TO FIGHT, AND WE PROTOTYPED TWELVE TIMES RATHER THAN A MEASLY FOUR.
CG: AND ONE OF OUR PROTOTYPINGS INCLUDED AN OUTER FUCKING GOD THE SIZE OF A CITY!
CG: I HOPE THIS PUTS IN PERSPECTIVE HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE.
EB: huh...
EB: yeah, it kind of does.
EB: i'm sorry karkat, i didn't realize we screwed up so bad.

CG: ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, AND THAT'S WHY YOU ARE SUCH A DISGRACE.
CG: THIS IS PROBABLY THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER EXPLAIN ALL THIS STUFF TO YOU, BECAUSE I CAN'T IMAGINE IT WILL HELP MY HEADACHE MUCH TO REPEAT MYSELF.
CG: I BET IT'LL BE PRETTY FRUSTRATING FOR YOU IN THE PAST!
EB: i suppose it was...
EB: but meh, it is all water under the bridge.
EB: which is where trolls and their shenanigans belong!
CG: HA HA! I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT YOUR FUNNY FUCKING JOKE.
CG: I HOPE THIS IS THE CALIBER OF HUMOR I CAN EXPECT FROM YOU IN THE FUTURE-PAST, EGBERT.
CG: IT'LL BE A REAL TREAT TROLLING YOU WITH MORE OF THOSE NUB SLAPPERS TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
EB: oh, there will be lots of great material. just wait until i start handing out rabbits, you will love that.
CG: WOW, WHAT A CRYPTIC STATEMENT.
CG: CHECK THIS OUT, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
CG: ANYWAY, GUESS I'LL GET GOING AND LET YOU DIE IN YOUR FIRE, WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULD, BUT YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO FOR SOME REASON.
CG: I'VE GOT TO REWIND THE TAPE ON THIS CLUSTERFUCK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG.
EB: yeah, i should get going too.
EB: my friend is pestering me, and i doubt she likes to be kept waiting.
EB: (she is sort of the bossy type!)
CG: WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR DUMB HUMAN FRIEND AND HER PETULANT, MEANINGLESS DEMANDS.
CG: WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH ME.
EB: ummm...
EB: yeah, you're right, it is probably of no significance to you whatsoever.
EB: (hehehehe)
CG: A;SLDKJFSDLKFJS;LDJFLK;J
CG: HERE, JOHN HUMAN DIPSHIT.
CG: HAVE A SECOND AND PENULTIMATE FUCK YOU:
CG: "FUCK"
CG: "YOU"
CG: MAY IT MARK THE SECOND OF MANY TO COME, AND THE MAGNIFICENT DENOUEMENT TO MANY RECEIVED.
CG: TOGETHER WE JUST TUGGED AT THE BOW TO UNRAVEL A PRESENT FULL OF GO FUCK YOURSELF.
CG: HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY YOU UGLY PILE OF TRASH.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist

So basically everyone is fucked.

Medium: webcomic Title: Homestuck Creator: Andrew Hussie

Comments

[badficwriter]

Buh.

[mullon]

I'm glad Karkat only types in all caps. Because when all the other trolls are killed it will mean we only have to read the easiest whiny jerk.

[nezchan]

Imagine if Doc Scratch was their sole contact. You'd have to highlight everything to read it.

[nonners]

I... what?

[mullon]

What part of "A videogame character that has merged with an old lady a bird a cat and a magical wolf has stabbed the brother of a time travelling hipster because the twelve year old who was supposed to be keeping an eye on his time paradox sister while she smashed a magical pinata fell asleep thanks to a humanoid insect with psychic powers so the magical wolf had to merge with a magical spirograph to stop the meteor and inadvertanly gave the videogame characters his godlike powers" did you not understand?

[nonners]

the pinata part.

[mullon]

Well then you're just hopeless!

[akodo_rokku]

Yeah, I wish Homestuck made half as much sense as Andrew Hussie thinks it does. Not that I don't enjoy it, but the only reason it's perfectly clear to him is because he's constantly working on it.

[redkingcrab]

Homestuck wouldn't be nearly as much fun if it was easy to follow. But I do think there has to be better ways to present it to an audience with no prior experience. It's very hard to sell people on it, on account of everything beyond about act 1 is basically a spoilers and act 1 is just fucking about with captchalogues and sylladexen.

[akodo_rokku]

Mostly I'm just complaining about Hussie's on commentary on the series -- he really seems to think that it's completely transparent.

[mcity]

He's said he thinks he's optimized the story for the web. He also knows, for a fact, that it's going to be confusing at times, and has actively misdirected readers. I'm just glad that between the wiki and the TVTropes page, I think I got a handle on it.

[fifthie]

But I do think there has to be better ways to present it to an audience with no prior experience.

On balance I think I've found the most success by apologizing for it.

[fifthie]

"Oh no you don't wanna read that it's all complicated and hard to follow and intricately put together and it only gets really really interesting after you spend hours and hours slogging through all this bullshit and putting together all of these ten million bits of plot" NERD-REFLEX ACTIVATED and then they hooked.

[redkingcrab]

That's genius! I'm going to try that on all my friends.

[nezchan]

I will say that the strip improved a lot once Hussie started to drop the focus on text-adventure jokes and paid more attention to moving the plot along and giving his characters more depth. Not to mention using in-jokes from previous strips that the reader might not have chosen to slog through. You don't see those as much now.

[karthzon.livejournal.com]

It was always perfectly clear for me. Of course, I did the smart person thing and started reading it from the beginning after I found out about it. I imagine people who are somehow deeply set against continuity and want to read it only from the point they found it would be confused.

In other words: It's not Hussie's fault you're dumb.

[akodo_rokku]

I've been reading it from the beginning. But it's been running for over two years now, there's been copious amounts of time travel and other sorts of skipping around.

So yes, I'm sure clues are always there yadda yadda, but I think it's a bit much to expect a person to remember them all when they happened in one panel over a year ago.

[karthzon.livejournal.com]

Why? People remember things from more than a year ago all the time. Or does your memory go back only a year?

Besides, you can just go back and check if you're unsure of a clue or reference, you know. It isn't forbidden.

[fifthie]

I never really exactly hated Jack.. and then he lifted Bro's shades.

Man, fuck that guy across two universes.

[redkingcrab]

Yeah, I never really bought him as a villain... until now. That son of a bitch is going to pay.

[inexpediency]

Uggggh, Vriska. I dislike her even more now.

And wow, I didn't even notice the feathers all over the place in that one panel. D:

[nezchan]

Disliking Viriska is the national pastime!

[jarodrussell]

Strangely enough, so is liking Vriska.

[mistersandman]

In this particular case, I feel like she wasn't acting out of malice and was just trying to stop John from prototyping Bec, not knowing that she was actually contributing to the source of her woes.

Since we haven't actually her her explain her motives, this is just a theory. It probably won't change your mind on Vriska, who is all in all a pretty reprehensible person. I'll never like Equius, no matter how STRONG he is.

[fifthie]

In this particular case, I feel like she wasn't acting out of malice and was just trying to stop John from prototyping Bec

Nah because she stopped him from prototyping a thing that emphatically wasn't bec.

Specifically she saw him typing some sort of one-armed, one-eyed, blue-colored mannequin, had some sort of enraged reaction, and then knocked him unconscious.

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

[meatwhichdreams]

OK, wow, I just got that. XD I finally finished reading the entire archives this morning and there's just a hurricane of plot fragments just flying around and a little flurry just settle right about now.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Terezei is SO better than that HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH BLUH as I am sure you will agree. >:D She is so much more fun which makes her infinitely more forgivable.

[inexpediency]

Well Equius just grosses me out. His dialogue is funny sometimes, though.

[meatwhichdreams]

Aww, I can't bring myself to hate him. He is just a creepy, creepy guy, but he's never really done anything mean like CERTAIN 8ITCHES I could mention.

[jarodrussell]

Is Bro dead or is he "dead"? I'd like to think this is just him being ironic.

[nezchan]

Bro is so cool, he can ACTUALLY DIE and it'll still be ironic.

[nezchan]

I'm beginning to think that what the trolls have assumed is wrong all along, and the kids don't cause the scratch. There are other forces at work, including the Outer Gods, the Exiles, hell maybe even someone in the Troll universe that could have done it, and it just looks like the kids are behind it from their point of view. And hell, maybe it's not a mistake at all, but something the game has been leading up to for several universes now.

What would be most ironic, of course, is if Karkat was somehow responsible.

[mcity]

"Literally the worst possible thing that could ever happen in the game. Ever."

I disagree.

I'm not saying that it's not bad, I'm not saying I could think of worse. I'm saying that this is a comic written by Andrew Hussie.