Date: 2011-01-14 12:48 pm (UTC)
*Warning: immature rant in 3...2...1...*

Dear Marvel:


Can we get ONE BLOODY ISSUE where you don't bring up the stupid "Parker Luck" thing? You asshats don't get the friggin' point: Peter isn't unlucky, he's unlucky BECAUSE HE'S SPIDER-MAN. The recurring theme when this "Parker Luck" thing came about was that Peter Parker would have the best life in the world if it wasn't for his responsibilities as Spider-Man. Since you guys have decided that he shouldn't be responsible, then stop bringing up his stupid bad luck. And for chirssakes, stop mentioning every time something goes right for him that he's finally beat that darned "Parker Luck." YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. AGAIN.

And yes, I know you desperately want to relive your childhood by using all the old clichés that used to be around when you were kids, but Mary Jane does not have to say, "Go get 'em, Tiger," in EVERY APPEARANCE. Hell, just keep her out of the damned book entirely if her only purpose is going to be constantly telling the audience that they should like your newest Mary Sue love interest. Newsflash: NO ONE LIKES CARLIE. Stop shoving her down people's throats.

I don't even care about Spider-Man 99% of the time and even I see how much of a bleeding crime it is to write your most recognizable character this badly. It's not even a matter of bad plotting. All you guys have to do to suck less is to stop spouting stupid irrelevant clichés and to actually SHOW CARLIE DOING SOMETHING COOL OR INTERESTING if you want to make the readers like her.

Just stop it. Stop writing the book like this. Stop doing this to Spider-Man. STOP SUCKING.
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