Superman vs The IRS

[superfangirl1]

Superman #148















This I just find on the net and it really fuuny to me.

Comments

[icon_uk]

Boy, it's not that often that Silver Age Superman meets someone even MORE of a dick than he is (Lois excepted of course) but ye gods that pencil pushing little geek is such an incredible pain in the ass!

Whilst he is technically correct, you get the feeling the other guys in the IRS office probably set him up for this just for shits and giggles.

[fifthie]

Whilst he is technically correct

Fortress of Solitude? More like the Fortress of Offshore Tax Shelter!

[mcity]

This reminds me of that tax guy in "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Except the only way they could even make him come close to a villain was by making him a dick. Brand here seems reluctant, but dedicated. He changes his tune immediately once his boss corrects him.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Well, the guy IS just doing his job. I agree in that he's poking his nose in where it was neither needed nor wanted, but I'd say he's guilty of being over-zealous, not actively being a jerk.

[changeling81.livejournal.com]

that pencil pushing little geek is such an incredible pain in the ass!

He's more of a hero than a trust-fund acrobat who helps his rich daddy hide his wealth from the government--all so they can blow it on multimillion dollar equipment that they use for self-indulgent vigilantism.

If Brucie and Dickie weren't under-reporting their assets to hide their cosplay proclivities, good Agent Brand here could be collecting more revenue. Then, *heaven forbid* the American voters and their elected representatives could decide how best to allocate that money for the social good.

I would think that there would be better uses for that money than buying batarangs to beat the hell out of the mentally ill and poor people that turn to crime. I would also think that the American people would choose to address those problems with better funding for mental health services and job-skills training. They surely would do so if the alternative was letting an egomaniacal, aging child molester keep his bucks so he could play dress-up with his spoiled brats...

[fifthie]

When I read "Superman vs the IRS" I was like "oh God what did JMS do now"

Which made it all the better when this turned out to be this.

[kusonaga]

Same.

[beoweasel]

"Even if you gave away all the money you've earned, you're not excused! Many Millionaires give money to charity too, yet they pay taxes!"

How...how does that logic even BEGIN to make sense? "I know you give away all your money, but THE RICH give to charities and pay taxes too!"

Also, for them to collect taxes on Superman, doesn't he have to be a citizen first? And yes, Clark Kent IS a citizen, but is Superman?

[icon_uk]

Because those who normally have large incomes also have to pay taxes to support the infrastructure of their country before they can consider donating to charity. Superman is technically abrogating that responsibility.

IIRC Superman was declared a citizen of nearly every country in the world by special UN charter or something along those lines

[jcbaggee]

....wait, does Clark Kent pay taxes?

[beoweasel]

Not to mention, even if we follow the silly storyline, we're talking about Silver Age Superman here. What's stopping him from going to another planet, digging up a couple of metric tons of valuable ore, like say, Gold...and bring it back here?

[kamino_neko]

An (uncharacteristicly) accurate knowledge of how the value of rare materials works?

[silicondream]

The fact that Bizarro would inevitably show up and helpfully turn it all into Twinkies or some shit?

[darkblade]

The mass devaluization of said ore when large amounts are introduced on the market?

[proteus_lives]

Govdickery!

[punishermax]

"So let me get this straight: None of you have paid taxes in the last 10 years?"

~Ollie, Dinah, Diana, Hal and Clark sit in the Justice Family Room (newly renovated) with an agent of the IRS~

"In my defense I lived on an island of women for my entire life. Your world of horseless carriages, machines that make words and money from paper confuses me... AAH! WHAT IS THAT! ~Diana reacts with shock and falls off the couch in horror~"

"That'd be the lamp Diana. The one you turned on like an hour ago. Don't be frightened by our strange ways woooooooo"

"Fuck you Ollie"

"Uhhh...I'm from space. What is earthman money? Space Hal knows not of W-2 forms. SPACE HAL ANGRY. SPACE HAL NEED HELP CONSOLIDATING DEBT. IT SPACE MAN HAL'S MONEY HE NEED IT NOW!"

"Space man Hal needs to shut up or Space Man Clark will put his Space foot in Hal's Space Hole."

"I just hate the government. Nice glasses, wher'd you get them, the fucking fascist store?"

"Lenscrafters actually."

"Dammit he's good"

"Look, the government understands that you've all been huge helps in the past and aside from Hal none of you have pending federal charges-"

"In my defense that decoy was over 18."

"So the government is willing to keep you out of jail if you just start paying your taxes next year."

"That seems reason-"

"And Miss Dina has sex with me"

"bly fucking stupid."

"By having sex with you does that mean I break my fucking fist off in your god damn eye? Because I'm ready and willing for that type of penetration."

"Wait. m This badge is plastic.....and it has a picture of McGruff on it. You're not even a fucking IRS agent are you?!"

~The man jumps up and laughs~

"I ALMOST GOT YOU THIS TIME JLA! NEXT TIME YOU WON'T BE SO LUCKY! AHAHAHAH!"

~he smashes out the window~

"Man we gotta start checking IDs at the door."

[q99]

Diana's ambassador of her country, I think she's in the clear/only has to pay Themysciran taxes. And... hm, 'Diana Prince' likely does as well.

[q99]

I'm surprised he even accepts rewards.

I think he could write off his entire operation as non-profit...

[miramira]

But then he'd need a board, and bylaws, and he'd have to start filing 990s. Too much hassle.

[fredneil.livejournal.com]

Two things about this story always bothered me (Just two, I hear someone asking). The bizarro ray makes imperfect duplicates. Superman even says it makes imperfect duplicates in this very story. Since when does it transform the original into an imperfect duplicate? Now that I think about it, Since Bizarro used the ray to make copies of himself and Bizarro Lois, shouldn't every other one be a copy of real Superman and Lois?

And since when is everyone a person helps deductible as a dependent?

[icon_uk]

And since when is everyone a person helps deductible as a dependent?

Since the guy who realises they are badgering the man who can bench press the MOON says they are!

[zenbro]

At first we started out real cool
Came to your planet and I saved your skins
But now you’re getting comfortable
Ain't doing those things that you did no more
You’re slowly makin’ me do some things
Batman or Flash could be handling

Can you pay my bills
Can you pay my telephone bills
Can you pay my automo'bills
then maybe we can chill
I don't think you do
Earth, you and me are through

[miramira]

"And that's how I ended up doing collections for the IRS. What about you, Tork?"

[jlroberson]

Interesting. A silver age DC story that actually attempts to deal with a superhero-in-the-real-world concept. This is usually the kind of thing you'd see in a Lee FF or Spidey story. Neat.

[aaron_bourque]

. . . Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four were products of the Silver Age!

[aaron_bourque]

Bizarro am talking backwards! Something am right!

[jaybee3]

But how does anyone know where Superman REALLY lives when he flies away after saving the day? Other than the Fortress of Solitude (which is in the North Pole and outside the reach of the IRS) if Superman doesn't have a place of residence in the US and there is no evidence of him being a citizen of the US, exactly how would you go about proving he is legally obligated to pay US taxes? I thought the IRS was smarter than that.

The 2nd comic was very funny, even though by parodying Silver Age Lois it ignores the fact that she always thought Clark and Superman were the same person (even if no one else did) and a lot of her insane plots were bent on proving that fact (which thanks to SuperDickery never worked out).

[jlbarnett]

this obviously takes place between the end of one issue where he convinced her Clark and Superman were separate people and the next issue where he has to convince her Clark and Superman are two separate people.

[ogrebear]

My thoughts on this are is Superman *knows* there are lost cultural treasures in the deep and under Egypt etc then why does he not bring them to the surface all the time to enhance the cultural life of Humanity in general?

Anyone else remember when Flash worked for the IRS? Some funny stories came from that.

[likeaminx]

My favorite Superheroes VS IRS story has to be the Marvel Adventures: Avengers one.

"Hulk says pay taxes, I pay taxes"