2011-03-06 01:17 am (UTC)
~Clark and Diana are walking down the Hallway to the Family Room Of Justice (Now with New Carpets)~
"Look Di, just because Canada produced Avril Lavigne-"
"And Celine Dion, don't forget that wailing mess of a performer"
"doesn't mean we can enslave it. It doesn't exactly work that way"
"Look, all I'm saying is that any country that makes a person who sings a song with lyrics that only consist of "BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND" is fair game and WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"
~They stumble upon a scene of horror. Hal looks shocked at them as he stops firing his ring at Batman's crotch and- you know what? I can't believe I wrote that. Fuck.~
"Okay, this isn't like it looks like."
"Okay first off Hal, I'm gonna get Dinah to punch you in the dick muscle for that line you stole from every fucking sitcom ever. Now, kindly explain why...I can't even understand it. Your utter fuckheadedness is like some sort of eldritch abomination my mind cannot comprehend. It's like the fucking idiot out of the stars here."
"Hal, you do understand that Bruce is literally going to murder you right? Like, he will break that one rule just to murder you, go back in time and then murder you again in some kind of temporal rift of anger and hate."
"Look, Bruce needed some energy, he looked really tired so I knocked him out-"
"Always a logical means to an end."
"And started firing energy into him"
"Again, always logical. Any particular reason you chose his dick to fire this energy into? Keep in mind Me and Dinah-Bell are gonna make fun of you anyway so you lose nothing by telling the truth Dick Dazzler"
"Took you 10 seconds, nice"
"I wasn't really aiming at it, just sort of...angled there and -urk!"
~Suddenly Bruce reaches up and grabs Hal by the neck~
"I am going to kill you slowly and~his cell phone rings, he sighs and answers~"
"Yes? What? Damien stop....you did what!? How did you even ignite that?! WELL BRING THEM BACK! WHY DID YOU BRING HOOKERS INTO THE BATCAVE!? GOD DAMMIT DAMIEN WHAT DID YOU USE MY CREDIT CARDS FOR!?"
~Bruce bolts out of the room~
"What a gyp."
"Woo..glad I'm safe from-"
~he's cut off as Dinah flies in as if from nowhere and kicks him square in his dick~
"PATRIARCHY SMASH KICK!"
~Hal smashes through a wall as Dinah and Diana high five. Clark rubs his temples~
"It's starting to depress me how used to this I'm getting"
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