|http://kitty_tc_69.insanejournal.com/ (kitty_tc_69.insanejournal.com) wrote in scans_daily,|
This will probably be posted in the next installment, but Scott believed Maddie had left him (and that he deserved it), and he wanted Jean back very badly but was unwilling to act on it due to his guilt. When he finally decided to make the hard choice (and let's face it, who's going to be decisive under circumstances like that? Few of us can imagine what it's like to love someone, watch them die, meet and fall for their clone, and then have their loved one return from the dead --it's enough to make anyone torn) and go back to Maddie and the baby, tearing his heart out by giving up Jean to honor his marriage and do the right thing, he finds evidence (set up by Sinister) that they've been killed by the Marauders. He immediately blames himself for their apparent death, and the additional guilt breaks him. With the help of some conveniently placed trickery by Cameron Hodge (who was opportunistically looking to break Scott for reasons of his own), he forges the delusion that Jean and Maddie both are incarnations of the Phoenix, and neither of them ever died and since both are the same woman he never left either of them or crewed either of them over to favor the other. Of course it's not true, but it's important to note that Scott's guilt is so strong his mind is willing to cop out of reality in order to let him off the hook. Yes, he made some poor decisions and he could have handled the whole thing a hell of a lot better, but to his credit he was under some pretty extremely fucked up circumstances with not one but two separate forces manipulating events to make things worse with the outright purpose of manipulating him. Rather than a callous jerk who would have just blown the consequences off as long as things worked out in his favor, he instead felt so guilty about failing to do the right thing (despite that under the circumstances someone was going to be done wrong by regardless) that he cracked. Lost his shit and became delusional. That's not the act of a selfish, uncaring individual, it's someone who failed to handle an impossible situation.
Which is why the later thing with Emma pissed me off so much. Yes, Scott fucked up with Maddie and Jean, but throughout the whole thing he was motivated by his undying love for Jean. He went for Maddie in the first place because she was a copy of Jean, deliberately put in his path for the purpose of ensnaring him, and he left Maddie because of that same love for Jean. He handled the situation poorly, sure, but he was under a hell of a lot of pressure and he -knew- he fucked up and cut himself no slack for it. His love for Jean was a consistent motivator throughout, and fucking up in the name of love is at least somewhat of a noble motivation for making mistakes. There was no such excuse for Emma. Who the hell was she to him? Why would he leave the woman he loved so much he screwed up royally and almost lost his mind, and his life, for her to cheat with a woman he should by all rights hate? It didn't make sense, and it turned Scott from a tormented and awkward but well-meaning fuckup to a mere cheating prick. Worse, it retroactively made the Maddie situation unforgivable by invalidating the whole extenuating circumstance that made it excusable in the first place. After all, it's hard to accept "he screwed up, but he did it for love" as a motivation when he turns around anc cheats on his great love of his life. He can't have loved her that much after all if he fucked around on her.