The Return of Dread Carlphisto

[cyberghostface]

I actually thought the last couple issues of ASM were a bit decent--Peter struggling with the people dying around him, the "Human Torch" memorial issue and even the Flash!Venom prelude. In retrospect, they were all absent of one thing--the Embodiment of Evil known as Carlie Cooper.

Well...she's baaaaaaaaaaaack....

Note: these are two preview pages from Amazing Spider-Man #658.





It's a good thing Peter didn't have sex with her. Since Carlie is clearly a vessel for Mephisto, that's all that would be needed for Mephisto to start the End of Days and set loose the wrath of Hell upon the world.

Comments

[icon_uk]

Also, the old FF signal was vaguely sensible because it was simple (the OHOTMU had it as a three stage missile with the various firing parts in different directions in sequence to form the 4 ) but how do you get something to form THAT shape,

[stubbleupdate]

You'd need to be some form of super genius with an arsenal of hi-tech equipment to pull that one off.

[icon_uk]

True, I just like the simplicity of the 4, versus trying to skywrite a triple hexagon.

[keeva]

Yeah, it'd be totally impossible for a genius like Reed Richards to figure that one out!

[cyberghostface]

And yet he still can't save an old woman from a gunshot wound.

[keeva]

I don't get what you're talking about here.

[icon_uk]

Peter coming to him for help in curing Aunt May?

[cyberghostface]

Just a poke at OMD. Peter went to pretty much every superpowered being/genius for help, including Reed Richards, and no one had any technology that could save Aunt May.

[suzine]

Just wondering: did Pete go to Loki? Since Loki does owe him a favor (for keeping an eye on his daughter), has played with and against Mephisto before, and can probably cure May (that fountain that can cure injuries)? 'Cause I don't remember him ever referenced in OMD, and JMS is aware of the favor, he wrote that Spidey/Loki issue.

[cyberghostface]

He probably wasn't there because that would disrupt Joe Quesada's utopia.

[keeva]

Isn't that a standard trope of comics though?

[baxter2814]

That may have actually been THE most gratuitous fail in Peter's entire lineup of people he asked for help. Even Strange I could see conjuring up some vague bullshit excuse about magic, but Reed?

Peter: I need your help! You've got loads of great medical equipment right?
Reed: Great? It is the most advanced in the solar system! What do you need?
Peter: My Aunt May's dying from a bullet wound, but that must be a piece of cake to cure right?
Reed: No, no, I'm sorry. I've tried everything, but this is an impossible task that is far beyond the reach of even my genius.
Peter: Wha? But...didn't you, like, build a portal to heaven, bang on the pearly gates, and yell at Jack Kirby to give Ben back that one time?
Reed: Uh.................Look at the pretty bunny! Look at the pretty bunny!

Okay, so that's not how it went down, but that's how obvious the logic!fail was.

[deepspaceartist]

No, I would say the most gratuitous fail would be the X-men being unable to help, as they have Elixr on their team. You know, the kid that has complete control over biology? The one that regrew someone's removed heart? I'm pretty sure gunshots are nothing to him.

[baxter2814]

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So much dumbassery, and so little space in my brain to remember it all. I mean, really, WTF?

[deepspaceartist]

Honestly, I have to go with everything in that book being Mephisto fucking with Peter's head to get him to agree to his deal. And even then it is still a shitstain of a book.

[baxter2814]

One of the best fan theories I've ever heard is that the entire thing was *Norman Osborn* making a deal with Mephisto. See, apparently Mephisto can alter reality, right? So Norman made a deal with him, telling him to turn every genius in the Marvel universe into raging morons, and to fuck up Peter's personality in just the right way to cause Peter to make a deal with Mephisto too, and therefore cause OMD.

I mean, it's way, way, way more likely that Norman would want to randomly fuck with Peter's life for no reason than Mephisto would, right?

[icon_uk]

No on thinking to approach Elixir is the one that makes my head hurt with fail. It's so obvious it's approaching the embarrassing.

[feyandstrange]

I've seen stupider fireworks (smiley faces, forex), but they have to be facing the right direction - but come to think of it, so does the 4.

[icon_uk]

Sue still tells to the story of the time Ben only saw the signal side on, and got in a huff because he thought that meant Reed had fired him and the others without telling anyone, so he could be the "Fantastic One".

[citygod]

I vote for this to be canon.

[baxter2814]

Seconded SO hard. I can almost hear the dialogue in my head this minute.