Two Keys Post #2

[pilot_star]

Hi guys :)
Thanks for all the amazing encouragement for our webcomic! It really means a lot to us that people read and enjoy it.

Anyway, I will keep posting pages here for anyone who would like to read it here, but as usual, you can read the archives at our site!
























As usual, concrit would be appreciated. :)

Comments

[icon_uk]

Again, good solid work. If I have a criticism, it's that the fluctuating text size is a little discombobulating, it makes some people look like they're shouting when they're probably not, the conversation with the person behind the grille in the second last scan is a good example I think. Audrey speaking in proper text when everyone else is in block capitals is clearly more of a style thing, so isn't an issue.

[pilot_star]

Hm... I was sort of using it as an emphasis thing, but I'll keep it in mind and try to keep the font sizes the same, or at least similar.

[nezchan]

I appreciate you posting here, it's nice to get a story like this in installments rather than as separate pages.

One little crit, there's really not enough establishment of the occult office or its residents. There's one view of the room itself, which seems a bit nondescript given it's a meeting hub for a persecuted underclass. Nobody seems to notice the newcomers, and the only unusual looking individuals are a bit hard to see. I'd either give it more panels, or at the very least take out that inset panel with the person behind the bars. Like in film, you need to re-establish place and characters after a transition, the way that you've done in moving from the diner to the mall, outside to inside, upstairs to downstairs.

I'd recommend studying film a bit, if you haven't already. Especially with a story like this, theatrical staging would really go far.

[pilot_star]

Hmm... Yeah, I think I didn't do a super good job establishing this setting, it's kind of tricky to jump from one setting to one setting, especially in a short time. I'll keep it in mind when I'm planning the next few chapters!

[nezchan]

If you've got a few dollars to invest, you might consider picking up a copy of The Visual Story, it has a lot of good information on just that sort of thing. Your work seems to be trending toward the cinematic to start with, so this should resonate pretty well.

I'd also recommend The Five C's of Cinematography, but if you have to choose, I'd go for the first one.