FLASHPOINT: LOIS LANE AND THE AMAZONS OF GOR, and SECRET SEVERING

[jlroberson]

So I'm reading through the various absolutely wonderful DC FLASHPOINT event series that I have absolutely no complaints about. I think it's a great idea to spend the summer turning over your whole line to people from DCU Online who can't draw anatomy without Poser. For this is the 21st century, and no more Grandpa Pencils. I for one welcome our tracing overlords. And besides, how best to make sure people BEG for your relaunch?

That said, I felt I really needed to bring your attention to the standout achievement of the bunch: LOIS LANE AND THE AMAZONS OF GOR. I think they put it out under a slightly different title. It's just that, especially as someone whose business it is to draw women, I found so much to learn from in this expertly-wrought master class in female anatomy, perspective, and how clothes drape. Behold these four pages drawn by Eddie Nunez, and love them. LOVE THEM.

As you can see, Howard Chaykin has NOTHING on Nunez when it comes to realistic treatment of dresses on the body.

I especially find her incredible disintegrating paper dress to be clever. Best of all, nothing causes the ripping. She merely runs. Look at the page before and the page after. And look at that thigh in the first panel! Is that a muscle? Does he think there's anything between a woman's front and back?

And that pose in panel 2: DRAMATIC. EVERYBODY DO JAZZ HANDS! Her, and the little boy in the exact same pose in the panel below her.

And I really love the sense of mystery. Like how exactly it's clinging to her crotch. As it does in each and every panel.

Also, where does she keep her phone? A question no one wants answered.

Because Nunez has the genius to realize that clothes are just a few more lines you draw on a naked female body.

And the last two panels! WOW. SHE KNOWS BOTH HIS NAMES. It's like at first she was calling out to another Jimmy drowning, and then wanted to avoid confusion.

But here is the crowning achievement.


Look at the Amazon dressed up for a GOR cosplay party. DC, at the least, there are plenty of competent artists who know how to draw sexy women, if that's what you want, WITHOUT making me vomit. Yet you have the genius to not employ them.

And I am absolutely sure there's no reason to even think about a female readership with a Lois Lane book of any kind. KUDOS. Lois Lane fans, REJOICE!

I am full of admiration and my heart is filled with love.
And please, do not call it Trashpoint, because that would be rude. It should not remind you of ULTIMATUM. Not at all. hate them or despise them, never let it be said DC lacks the courage to ruin its characters. The problem is that only produces a sales spike when those characters are well-known, and the kind of ruining isn't...this kind.
And please don't take anything I say to mean that FLASHPOINT all has the quality of an afterthought, carelessly dumped on the market for...what exactly? To provide some new toy designs?
SPOILER BELOW:

And DC certainly loves their female readership, as we all know, because over in SECRET SEVEN, sadly written by the great Peter Milligan, they also give us this image of a murdered and mutilated character specifically designed for young girls--a character who herself is twelve years old inside(and says so in this story, so this isn't even an adult version; I also submit that even though this is an AU, the otherdimensional nature of both characters makes that a little irrelevant). A character they haven';t bothered to use for years. A character who has innocence to her. Oh, you know she had a target on her face at that moment. Look, it was Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld, here in bed with Dext--I mean Shade.

Total genius, this. I don't think it's stupid, or vile, at all. And certainly not any kind of deciding moment for me, leading to me not wanting to look at DC Comics at all.

(all artwork (c)2011 DC Comics)

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Comments

[marco]

I just don't know what to think or how to feel about this... I just know that I don't want to pick up this title. That dress is really killing me though.

[jlroberson]

It's of one use: to be studied and memorized as How Not To Do It.

[lucky_gamble]

Thanks. I almost forgot the mediocre filth some writers and artists published in comics presently. That wasn't sarcasm =/ Also, i'm not jumping the gun on the Amethyst bit. We've seen characters "die" in one issue then power up or wake up the next. That still doesn't stop it from being skeevy.

[jlroberson]

Well, exactly. I'm not complaining because "oh no this major change to my precious character" because this will mostly be retconned out anyway. As with the Plastic Man thing, I'm questioning why do this to these characters, these SPECIFIC relatively innocent ones, at all. Why make me see this happen to Amethyst. Why make me think of Plastic Man as a chestburster.

Thing is, what with all the DCU Online people doing most of these(like Nunez) I expect it to be off-key at best. But MILLIGAN? That breaks my heart. This isn't even such a strange thing for his Shade. But using Amethyst this way is absolutely wrong.

[fifthie]

And I am absolutely sure there's no reason to even think about a female readership with a Lois Lane book of any kind.

If they hadn't thought about it, they couldn't have so scrupulously prevented it from happening!

[jlroberson]

And don't you love how Jimmy is a manly hero man here and Lois is the damsel in distress?

Of course, we also find out that Jimmy was some kind of badass secret agent, because Lois has to have a way to communicate with Cyborg(Jimmy's camera).

Speaking of which, am I then only one who simply can't take seriously the idea throughout Flashpoint I'm supposed to be impressed by Cyborg? Has Cyborg got this massive fan base I've never heard of? Because he's always, all the way back to the 80s, kinda bored me.

[lilacsigil]

Wow, the only fully clothed women on these pages are either Mom (in very tight clothes) and possibly the baby. The only naked or tightly clothed men are...gee, none of them.

I like the bra effect on Shade's costume, though. A subtle reminder that he was a female character here that would be the entire top of the costume.

[jlroberson]

And over in the main Flashpoint series Kubert Boy thinks those circles are a rockin' 70s necklace.

[perletwo]

....they brought back Amethyst. My Amethyst, who I read when I was actually effin' twelve, and a girl I might add - so they could a) draw her badly and b) do THIS to her? THIS??????!!!!!??????

GRRRRRR. Urge...to KILL....RISING....must...control....FIST of DEATH....

[endis_ni]

Wait... as in this Amethyst?

Seriously?

Okay, that, right there, is well out of order. Sure, she was a small but shining part of my childhood, but basically I'm getting pissed off by DC's current mania for horrifically killing/corrupting any innocent little girl characters they have on the books.

Mary Marvel, Lian Harper, Amy Winston, it's starting to look like a trend, and a desperately skeevy one at that. And what makes this worse is that these are characters who'd probably quite appeal to young girls as readers just coming to comics. So they're not just retroactively telling Ickle Ni to fuck off, they're doing it to my niece's generation as well.

Dear DC, there's nothing wrong with innocent. There's nothing wrong with sweet. And there's nothing wrong with young girls either.

Try to remember that.

Ni.

[equinox216]

"I... I think I KILLED her."

By punching the Kool-Aid Man to death? By knife-fighting a Glidden Paint sales representative? By coming in second to Eel O'Brien in a race with Snake Plissken in the third in the series, "Escape From Cluemaster's Duodenum"? Because your HANDS are covered in vermilion and the rest of the LANDSCAPE (which I'm comfortable including the woman in, since she was evidently only brought back to serve as a terrain feature) is covered in random black crap.

I don't know who anyone in that picture is, and I STILL hate it.

[terabient]

WOMEN DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

And could these "Ancient Greece" costumes be any more cliched?

[jlroberson]

Or generic, or unimaginative, or more like "I've never looked at a WW comic in my life and was given this assignment at the last minute and GOD I hate drawing."

[misterbug]

Thank god for Jimmy Olsen. If that brave, resourceful lad hadn't reverted to his Water Elemental form, that poor man would have drowned...or...um...

Ah. Never mind.

[thebigapricot]

We talked about this on the last 3 Chicks podcast. Not a good book and putting Nunez on it, who draws every woman with same giant boobs, was a poor choice. I was really looking forward to Lois having her own mini, but outside of the first few pages with Lois barking at Perry, this was not their finest hour.

[jlroberson]

Link to podcast? I'd like to hear this. (no, I've never heard the podcast, my apologies, I mostly just listen to Deconstructing Comics and Mindless Ones, so thanks for letting me know of another)

[silverzeo]

Wow, even in an alternate timeline, Amethyst gets Fridged... come to think of think it. Why even bother mentioning her anymore? It's like all the nods to Jason Todd before he's return...

[mullon]

Well, I like the dress.

[cleome45]

It's really weird that, right after reading this whole thing, I saw a "news" story about a contest where people designed bridal/formal gowns using nothing but bathroom tissue.

[perletwo]

Also on the Amethyst thing - anybody know why George Perez didn't draw this issue as originally solicited? Aside from, y'know, his just generally being painstakingly slow? Because from Perez to this smacks kinda mightily of bait and switch. (Protip, DC: if you advertise George Perez and he whiffles, spend the extra money and get Phil Jiminez already.)

[mrstatham]

George is presumably working on the upcoming Superman relaunch in September.

[kenn_el]

Well, in DC's defense, it's hard to sell a reboot of your entire line when quite a few of the titles are worth picking up. In this case they offer up a Crapverse that COULD be, and the NuU looks like the best thing EVER in comparison! (Unfortunately, they keep implying that some concepts will make their way into the rebooted U, but I'm hoping that it really is just their usual hype in order to get people to spend money on this silly and sad venture,)

[jlroberson]

Kind of what I'm thinking. I get the feeling they INTENDED something bigger than this and then decided at the last minute, screw it, reboot. As I said, I think FLASHPOINT's purpose is to make people beg for the relaunch. We'll be seeing lots of people here say "wow, this is SO much better than FLASHPOINT." Bet ya.

[greenmask]

AMETHYST???


BRAAAAUUUUURRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[mrstatham]

Yeah, I'm so going to listen to a boatload of complaining about the way someone draws a woman in a dress when it's followed by an advert for a comic featuring what looks suspiciously similar to what said person was complaining about.

[cleome45]

LOL

I'm trying to remember when it became okay to plug one's own work in these posts. Granted, sometimes I disappear for months at a time and miss a bunch of changes, but...

?

[fredneil.livejournal.com]

So Wonder Woman started out fighting nazis and now she's the queen of Amazon nazis? I'll probably be a lot happier if I don't follow this train of thought anywhere.

[darkknightjrk]

Well, reading the origin of this universe's Wonder Woman, it makes more sense--her and Aquaman were intending to have their people combine their resources to become stronger, but xenophobes on both sides have conspired to stop it, which created the war.

[nezchan]

I like how wall-eyed Lois is when Jimmy buys it.

It's also cool how none of the dresses (her or the Goreans) have any thicknesses. They're just body paint, rather than fabric.

I do like the idea of Jimmy as master spy, though. It's a good role for him. Pity we only got it posthumously

[korilian]

Hahaha. I know it's terrible but I can't stop laughing at the paper dress! Shade reminds me of Buffalo Bill more then Dexter, since he seems to be inexplicably wearing a bra (or IS there a reason?)

[cleome45]

...DC, at the least, there are plenty of competent artists who know how to draw sexy women, if that's what you want, WITHOUT making me vomit...

[shrug] At this point, I'm just sick of women being "The Sex Class," first and foremost-- with anything else they might be there for being (very) secondary. It really doesn't matter to me how technically competent the artist is.

Yeah. Cheesecake, or anything else, jammed down one's throat constantly --and to the exclusion of all else-- is bound to cause nausea, no matter how well-made it is. :/

[perletwo]

It's especially hard to take in this forum right now, when we're coming off Gene Colan Week, when he drew people and their clothing (even their spandex clothing!) so naturalistically.

[jaybee3]

That Amethyst thing just blew me away. I think (and have always thought) she is a character with huge story/merchandising/multi-media potential for WB/DC and even if this is a glorified Elseworld to do THAT to her (shades of Lian Harper - killed to glorify nothing) after not using her for years is sick, sick, sick and speaks to what is completely wrong about the people running DC and their outlook on life and what they REALLY think about their readers.

[stolisomancer]

You mentioning Gor in conjunction with comic books reminds me of an old Chris Claremont anecdote, where he talks about wanting to write an issue of Iron Fist where the Gor slave traders land and kidnap Misty Knight and Colleen Wing. Luke and Danny borrow a ship and fly off after them, only to find upon landing that Misty and Colleen have conquered the planet.

Man, though, that does not read like Abnett and Lanning's work at all.

[jlroberson]

That's the part that really bothered me, because you're right, it doesn't. I usually like them.

[junipepper]

I thought that little boy on the stairs was making fun of Lois by mimicking her very odd pose...

Agh! Jimmy Olsen has lost his face! Maybe they can bring him back as The Question. Because obviously Renee Montoya, an intelligent, brave, realistically flawed, female minority, does not belong in the DCnU.

Still snorting over the way mini-Cyborg there just pops up out of Jimmy's camera. (Yes, I know it's a hologram. It still looks stupid.)

[jlroberson]

JAZZ HANDS!

There should be a week of people posting comics where everyone does...

JAZZ HANDS!

[majingojira]

Oh, DC Considers it's female readers.

It considers them non-existent.

[bluefall]

Nah, I think it considers us a nuisance, else why would it put so much effort into driving us away?

[leikomgwtfbbq]

Maybe Nanami Kiryuu sent Lois that dress.

...I'm really on an Utena kick lately.

[bluefall]

There are worse kicks to be on.

Well, unless you mean the movie. That shit's just weird. XD

[mommy]

This is a dumb question, but how old is Jimmy? He looks like he's a freshman in college in those scans, but I know he's worked at the Daily Planet for years. If he was around early in Clark's Superman career, shouldn't he be in his late twenties or early thirties?

[eyz]

His age's neve rbeen that much consistent...Sometimes he looks to be around the age of Dick Grayson...sometimes older...other times, younger...