Not a hoax, not a dream -- a brand new Wally West story from DC!

[superboyprime]

DC's Retro-Active event moved into the 1980s this week. The Flash's old creative team of Bill Messner-Loebs (writer) and Greg Larocque (artist) bring us a brand new tale of the fastest man alive.



Meet Alexis Cooper, assistant night manager at Taco Whizz. She's the Flash's true love, don't you know?



Alexis knocks Cold unconscious and steals all his files on the Flash's rogues. Using the info, she sneaks into their hideouts and steals their tech, inluding the power of Dr. Alchemy's Philosopher's Stone.

Using the tech, she pulls a string of robberies to get the Flash's attention. Finally, the Flash confronts "Alchema, Chemistry Majorette."



The Rogues show up to get revenge on her.

Comments

[tsunamiwombat]

I'm torn, on the one hand this is a very tounge in cheek jab at some comic conventions, on the other this is a very disturbed if brilliant young lady who somehow figured out Flashes secret identity and needs pyschological help, giving her a job probably isn't a good idea.

[doomisay]

I think this was during the time Wally's ID was public.

[icon_uk]

Wally's ID as the Flash was public knowledge from the start of his career.

Am in agreement though, that giving a disturbed obsessive with ALL the powers of the Rogues Gallery a job as a hero is a very dubious idea, even as a joke.

She should probably look up Replikant, the Rogues mascot/honorary godson, who also has all their powers too.

[crinos]

Then again, it IS Australia, A super hero would have to be crazy to want to work out of there.

Not insulting Australia, its just that its the single most BADASS place on the Earth. Home to deadly spiders, serial killer octopi, giant blue glow in the dark earthworms, Russel Crowe, and stoned Wallabies.

And that's just the real life version of the place. I can't even begin to imagine what the DCU version, with its magic and super science, of Australia would be like.

[icon_uk]

It has Tasmanian Devil and Martian Manhunter as it's most recognised heroes... therefore it is automatically AWESOME!

[crinos]

Like I said: Most badass place alive.

Think about it, their first choice was Guy Gardener.

[retro_nouveau]

The Rogues' Code of Honor never gets old.

Bruce/Selina is not equal to Carol/Hal, but kind of close. Clark/Maxima? Puh-leez.

And I hate Taco Whiz. Although I hate Starbucks with the fire of several dozen suns, I love Sundollar.

[arilou_skiff]

That's a lie actually. Way back when in ye olde australian colonial times Australia was the soft option, compared to India or Africa.

[thokstar]

Reading this, I realized that Alchema is basically Cupid from Kreisberg's Green Arrow run, but done in one issue instead of 12. (And taking advantage of the fact that Flash's rogues are leagues better than Green Arrow.)

KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEISBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[icon_uk]

Green Arrow has Rogues? Have to say that aside, possibly, from Merlyn the Archer, I'm struggling hard to think of ONE remotely memorable nemesis that Green Arrow has.

[q99]

I thought MM tended to hit South America?

Well, it's definitely Miss Martian's home turf at the least ^^

[q99]

Onomatopoeia? Hawkman?

[pyrotwilight]

Well, her saying Clark and Maxima might be her way of unconsciously saying her love is one sided.

[terrykun]

Merlin. Everyman. Brick (post-humous).

[terrykun]

"Australia: Nature's Own Super-Villain Lair"

[thokstar]

Green Arrow has Rogues?

That's sort of the point. And yet Kreisberg managed to fridge one (Brick), and made Merlyn look like a chump to promote Cupid.

(Kreisberg also wrote a completely out of character scene for Count Vertigo, but compared to what he did to the other rogues, that's not so bad.)

[thokstar]

Everyman isn't memorable. Or if he is, you should include the Electrocutioner and Prometheus on the same list.

[cainofdreaming]

Merlin? Etrigan's Merlin? When did they meet?

My typo, my bad.

[terrykun]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merlyn_%28DC_Comics%29

[cf105]

And they chose to live in Canada. I've always thought the colonials were a little nuts.

[icon_uk]

Morrison's JLA run has J'onn being considered to be one of the greatest heroes of Australia, their Superman equivalent in fact, and even IIRC shows him in combat with a militant Aboriginal rights mystic, Doctor Dreamtime.

[arilou_skiff]

Canada has a distinct lack of interesting diseases.

[sigmund_droid]

militant Aboriginal rights mystic, Doctor Dreamtime.

Oh God that's offensive

[proteus_lives]

Aussie Out-Sourcing!

[biod]

(Dammit, I posted this six hours ago)

I chuckled when Maxima, Ms. Alien Princess with a hate-crush on the boy in blue, was referred to as Superman's Catwoman. Then I chuckled again when I realized how public the vitriolic passions of superheroes must be for her to use them as examples. I'm sure there is a JJJ analogue, white-hot with anger, ranting about how the so called "Superheroes" are more interested in playing house with the ones they're supposed to turn in than stopping crimes.
The story was cute, though the girl needs a reality check she pulls an Identity Crisis.

[greenmask]

Surely a very strange choice to illustrate "bestman of Australia", 'here see how I defeat one of the in-universe loudest voices for a marginalised section of the populace, I certainly do stand for your greatest values'

:/

[biod]

THEN, I got another good laugh out of the fact that for years Superman had a super powerful enemy who's entire motivation was basically "DAMN IT! WHY WON'T YOU FUCK ME!?".

[fungo_squiggly]

Don't knock it. That's the same motivation held by half of Batman's rogue's gallery.

[icon_uk]

In fairness, it wasn't that straightforward, J'onn genuinely sympathised with the Doctor's aims but disagreed with his methodology.

From this site

"the Manhunter helped police capture Doctor Dreamtime there. The villain had planted psychic grenades throughout Sydney in protest of a Japanese conglomerate mining sacred aboriginal land for uranium deposits. J'Onzz then returned to Z'Onn Z'Orr, an ancient Martian City in the Antarctic. Unearthed by the Hyperclan, it now served as his base of operations. "Here I can wander the empty streets of the past and rediscover my lost heritage or tinker with the Martian technology they left behind." J'Onzz encoded a mineral with shapeshifting Martian DNA to serve as an alternative power source for the Japanese. "They accept my offer and promise to leave the aboriginals alone for the time being."."

[biod]

If you mostly replace "fuck" with "hug", you have a very valid point there.

[greenmask]

In-universe, I can understand that.. but it seems a pretty weird creator's choice, y'know?

[icon_uk]

I can sort of see it as a creators choice if I screw up my eyes and squint. I think the intent was to showcase through a "Day in the Life", how J'onn views the world as, effectively, an assimilated immigrant.

This approach shows that he's an alien, an outsider, but whilst that makes him sympathetic to those who are treated as outsiders, as a lawman there are lines he feel shouldn't be crossed. Outwith the actual laws themselves though, he is prepared to bend a few rules if it solves an underlying problem (Note that J'onn breaks no laws, and does not "punish" the conglomerate for it's technically legal actions)

I suspect the use of Aboriginal Australians (as opposed to say, Native Americans) and Japanese conglomerates would just be to add a slightly exotic foreign flavour for the US readership, and cover that whilst, up until now, J'onn is basically Superman in terms of powers and outlook, there is a reason why he's not as high profile in the USA, it's because the USA has Superman, and he can do more elsewhere.

It actually makes me think of Morrison's later work on All Star Superman. I could see THAT Superman doing exactly the same thing.

[tsunamiwombat]

I don't think you necessarily need to replace it in some cases >_>

[his_spiffynesss]

Someone needs to post that issue of Outsiders where Luthor points out to the Joker why Batman likes Catwoman better.

[sigmund_droid]

Going to have to read this for myself.

[icon_uk]

It's in JLA: Secret Files and origins #1

[sigmund_droid]

Much obliged mon ami

[aaron_bourque]

No.

No.

[aaron_bourque]

I hate that. The Joker should have easily countered Luthor's juvenile idiocy, but no, Winnick isn't bright enough to truly grasp the Joker's character, or why Luthor wouldn't have made that crack, so he just gets angry and attacks Luthor.

[werehawk]

Are the wallabies stoned too? I know the Koalas are (eucalyptus leaves are slightly narcotic to koalas - poison to everything else).

And don't forget the paralysis-causing ticks, killer jellyfish, venomous sea snakes, & poisonous freshwater 'catfish'.

[fungo_squiggly]

Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

[bariman]

eucalyptus leaves are slightly narcotic to koalas

What? Wow. There was this kids show back in the early 90s, that I can't remember the name for, that had a (puppet) koala that interacted with the human children. He was always hanging on a eucalyptus tree outside one kid's window eating the leaves. He was a drug addict!

[bariman]

The Superman/Maxima thing might just be a public misconception.

[aaron_bourque]

Sorry, I have a hard time with it for various reasons, not least being that homosexual urges and mental instability really shouldn't be so blatantly linked.

[biod]

Hence the "mostly".