Inappropriately Touched by an ArchAngel

[sigmund_droid]

I like to call this "The time Archangel confessed his to love for a teenage girl to her mother and then proceeded to have sex in the air in front of said mother."



7 pages out of 24, from X-men 440

Warren confronts Husk's mother about his feelings.





The healing power he is referring to is of course his magical healing blood *groan*



Hey actually that writings not bad...Hey maybe this won't be so bad after all? I haven't read this arc in awhile so...



Nope nevermind I forgot about the Betsy comment... sigh... *grabs bottle of scotch*



AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Throws bottle of scotch against wall*

Comments

[darkknightjrk]

This reminds me--wasn't there a sort-of "Romeo & Juliet" type arc that Austin did with X-Men? I remember picking that up from my local library after getting and devouring the Morrison run, eager for more X-Men and...well, got really disappointed.

As for this...only compliment I can think of--I kinda dig Angel's outfit here.

[sigmund_droid]

In the very same issue actually, the rest of the issue is devoted to a story about Icarus falling in love with a girl from another family.

Her father appears when they were together in super-powered armour (don't ask) and it ends with her death. Jay (Icarus) lives due to his healing factor and unsuccessfully tries to kill himself after.

[polarisnorth]

No words for how much I Do Not Want.

[aaron_bourque]

a) How is he Archangel and not just Angel if he's got organic wings again and no blue skin?

b) WHYYYYYYYYYYY??? What did we do to YOU????

[sigmund_droid]

A. Actually good question. I just naturally thought he is now known as Archangel from now on.

B.

[zenbro]

It would have been funny if Mrs. Guthrie slapped Warren right after he admitted killing her daughter.

"But I revived her with MAGIC BLOOD!"

"Which is why the shotgun is still in the closet."

[sigmund_droid]

Yeah she took that news unreasonably well...


Well I guess with the kids you have...

[protogarrett]

And this is why so few writers these days want to use Husk anymore. The taint of this particular story sticks to it.

I was so excited about this lineup when it was first announced. *sigh*

[airawyn]

Why is Paige tainted by this story but not Warren?

[curlyjo1]

Wow, where did you manage to get imaginary comics? I could have sworn this story never happened...

[drmcninja]

I firmly believe that none of Austen's work is actually canon. No Azazel, no healing blood, no pedophilia, none of it. How much of it has even been referenced or used since he wrote it? Pretty sure none of it. This never happened, its just a terrible, terrible AU.

[abriel]

Oh Paige is just totes about inappropriate sexual contact in inappropriate circumstances, as well as inappropriate discussion of it at inappropriate times (re: the conversation she had with Jubilee about how she wanted to bang Warren while they were standing over Skin's freshly dug grave).

[suzene]

Stupid, stupid Austen...

[fungo_squiggly]

I'm loving that post title.

[freezer]

I have never actually seen the infamous "mid-air boinking" scene before. If anything, the set-up is actually worse than the payoff.

[halloweenjack]

I wonder if Austen got the idea for this from the mid-air boinking scene from Miracleman (which he worked on briefly), which was of course done so much better (including the subsequent scene with Miracleman's human wife).

As for the overall effect on the characters, it doesn't really affect how I feel about them, because this is just so beyond the pale that I simply don't accept this as canon, but rather an unfortunate legacy of a time when TPTB published fanfic (see also: Grayson, Devin) on the Draco-in-leather-pants level. (Unfortunately, Austen is probably thinking that he's a big shot again because Azazel was included in X-Men: First Class, and never mind that that version, as far as we know, only bears a superficial resemblance to his character, and could have been replaced by almost any mutant teleporter (like the Vanisher, or Blink) except that they probably wanted to set up the "hey, it's Nightcrawler's dad" aspect.)

[flint_marko]

I still don't know why they had to use Azazel.

[an_idol_mind]

Moral fucked-uppedness aside, the dialogue here is just AWFUL. Like Stephenie Meyer-level bad.

[lucky_gamble]

Hey at least in this story, the female character stuck up for herself =l....then got air boinked by a man much older than her infron of her mother...you know what? the whole thing is Stephenie Meyer bad.

I should mention..

[sigmund_droid]

I should mention that the thing that pisses me off the most here, more than ANYTHING, is how Betsy is treated and particularly Warren's dialogue about her. Betsy was dead at this point and time (if you didn't know) and I don't know it just comes off as really kicking dirt on her grave.

I'm not the biggest Angel/Psylocke shipper but my God man mentioning that the teenage girl you just hooked up with is someone you'd love more than the person who just died in arms is wrong man.

Re: I should mention..

[drmcninja]

There's a reason she let Fantomex steal her away from him.

[pyrotwilight]

How old is Warren anyway? The age thing isn't too big of a crazy thing to me, though it's still squicky yes. I assume he's in his late 20's possibly 30?

It's really just the sudden making out in the air that's all levels of GRAH WHAT THE FUCK.

[sigmund_droid]

They hilarious keep avoiding this question in the arc by with lines like "she's 19 and you're uh older"

I believe he's suppose to be over or around 30.

[starwolf_oakley]

Chris Claremont (of all people) continued the Warren/Paige romance in the short-lived EXCALIBUR series. Warren, Paige and some slightly obscure heroes fought the Viper in Morocco. Paige even called Warren "my sweetie" in the story.

[drmcninja]

NOPE NEVER HAPPENED.

[selke]

Uh... huh. This kind of screams "Mary Sue" to me. Like he wants to bang a 19 year old blonde chick. I actually feel dirty after having read this, and I've read "Tarot." Ugh.

Although Nightcrawler made me giggle slightly.

[sigmund_droid]

You know I never thought of it that way but Husk does kind of resemble a Mary Sue in this situation. Good point.

I'm sorry you had to read Tarot.

[lucky_gamble]

Man the comments you made just enhanced the whole post lol On a side note...WTF?! The mom was just informed by her daughters MUCH older boyfriend that she died due to his irresponsibility then proceeded to have mile-high sex in front of her. AND THEN HER DAUGHTER'S CLOTHES PRACTICALLY FELL ON HER. I would bet MY EYES Dinah Lohan has less apathy for her own daughter.

[shadowpsykie]

Ok... I didn't hate the Paige/Angel relationship... The whole sex in mid air in' front of her mother... Oay yeah, that was bad... And not all the dialogue was bad.... Seriously though, the relationship itself never really bothered me, I actually liked it. Also liked the healing factor...

[sigmund_droid]

GET HER!

[ravenous_raven]

Wow. That's just...wow.

The mom's reactions (or lack thereof, after Angel mentioned that Paige died) only make this worse. I mean, what parent wouldn't be yelling at his/her kid to get down out of the sky and find a room? I don't know how upset she was about Angel and Paige's relationship beforehand, but here she just serves as a reason for Angel to explain himself, Paige to overhear him, and general angst and drama to flow before the "funny" air sex. It's not entertaining, its awkward, and it sure isn't helping Angel's argument that he actually loves Paige, instead of loving to have sex with her, in the air or not.

[biod]

It says something when one of your characters seems to be dead inside and still wants to leave this book as fast as effing possible.

[eyz]

That NERD face at the end totally got me by surprise! XD

[kd_the_movie]

Ahh the Good ole days back when Salvador Larocca's line work was clean and not that digital mess he uses in Invincible Iron Man.

I too didn't find the Paige/Warren relationship that bad. And I liked Warren's costume around this time.

[heckfire]

OK, this DOES clear up one thing that bothered me for a long while and now doesn't: I honestly thought Husk was still supposed to be the age she was in "Generation-X." She's 19, that's age of consent/adult age pretty much globally. I admit, though, the idea of Warren dating her IS a little...off, but that's partially because I'm in my late 30's myself and most of the 19-year-olds (Hell, most of the 20-somethings) I encounter act like I should be on Social Security because I remember using record players. Of course, on the other hand, I SURE as Hell don't look like Archangel does...I just don't get why people keep calling Archangel a pedophile when she's old enough to friggin' VOTE.

Still, doing it in front of your best friends is squicky enough, but in front of your MOM..? WOW.

[wizardru]

I can't decide if I dislike the art or the writing more.

How is is that in SEVEN PAGES of a conversation, Mrs. Guthrie literally says NOTHING until her daughter is having flying exhibitionist sex (and then only to say, "Oh, my"? That's not even a one dimensional character. She literally says and does nothing during this entire sequence.

I realize characters change and move on, but this version of Warren sits at odd with the first thirty years of his existence as I knew him, making him virtually unrecognizable to me. And this dialogue is just monologuing mannequins. Listen, Brian Michael Bendis' form of dialogue might rub me wrong sometimes because he seems to force everyone to match it....but it feels right when it works. He's gotten down the tick of how people actually talk. This is a giant monologue by one character followed by a monologue by another.

Is Kurt supposed to look like he's fifteen, here? I ask in seriousness because I (luckily) never followed the X-men during this terrible, terrible period. That can't possibly be Wolverine with him, right? Why does Mrs. Guthrie look like she's made of old dough in that one shot? Also, the perspective in some of these shots (particularly how some objects don't seem to line up) is distracting to me. It's not shoddy, but it feels...weird. Like the artists spent a lot of time doing character portraits but not getting other things down. I do think the artist at least is doing the best with character poses and body language that he can, given that these scenes have virtually no action at all. The art actually makes the story worse, though, in that we see Mrs. Guthrie standing around and constantly moving through the scene, but never talking, interrupting or reacting. I realize she probably talks more in pages that aren't here...but for the discussion being had, her silence is nonsensical. Warren says nearly 20 balloons of dialogue with some big points and she just sits and listens? It's...it's Not Good.

[sigmund_droid]

I couldn't agree more, you could replace the mother with Angel talking to himself ni a mirror and it'd have the same effect.

[grimmbear]

I.... wha... but.... ?Gets gun starts making way to Marvel HQ.

[proteus_lives]

Grimmbear: "They'll pay now, they'll all pay..."

[proteus_lives]

Jesus H. Christ.

I remember now, that storyline was so fucking bad.