sherkahn: (Default)
[personal profile] sherkahn posting in [community profile] scans_daily
One page from #6 and I will be at my limit for that issue.

But its a truly worthy page.

edit: ok, 2 worthy pages.





That's right, Steve!!! Walk it to him!!!

EDIT:

Looks like I can do one more page for this issue.....
One more.

One.... against many.


Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-14 08:58 pm (UTC)
steverodgers5: (Default)
From: [personal profile] steverodgers5
There's a line of dialogue from Iron Man that goes:-

"I rather came having had."

WHAT?!? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

(And context really doesn't help either..)

I wish I could blame this line on Tony being drunk, but this is the second time in as many months that Fraction's wrote a line that seemed to have little grasp of basic english!

In the Mighty Thor #5 he has the Silver Surfer utter the line:-

"Mercy is nothing born to ride the Cosmic Winds."

God, is anyone even proof reading his work? Marvel's editors must have the easiest job in the world, given that they never actually seem to do anything any more..

It's annoying because I like the artwork, and I really want to enjoy an event that focuses on Cap and Thor, but the writing is making me never want to pick up another Marvel title again.

Re: Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-14 09:39 pm (UTC)
drmcninja: (Default)
From: [personal profile] drmcninja
Depends, was Tony drunk?

Tony's state..

Date: 2011-09-16 06:38 pm (UTC)
steverodgers5: (Default)
From: [personal profile] steverodgers5
I don't believe he was supposed to be drunk in that particular scene. But again, it really is hard to tell with Fractions dialogue..

Re: Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-14 10:35 pm (UTC)
citygod: (Default)
From: [personal profile] citygod
Nothing wrong with the dialogue that a few commas wouldn't fix. But since they're not there, and no-one at Marvel or the Fraction house seemed to think they're needed, it reads very poorly.

"That monster my world is killing itself to fight on your behalf just sent two of his thugs to break your boy in two."

"That monster my world is killing itself to fight, on your behalf, just sent two of his thugs to break your boy in two."

(Though using "two" twice is a bit clunky. And ironic. What about:
"That monster my world is killing itself to fight, on your behalf, just sent two of his thugs to break your boy.")

"I can't fight and die in your war on my damn feet without Thor out there fighting with me"

"I can't fight and die in your war, on my damn feet, without Thor out there, fighting with me"

or "I can't fight and die on my own damn feet in YOUR war without Thor out there, fighting with me"

Anyway: yes, Marvel's editors must have the easiest job in the world.

Re: Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-15 04:51 am (UTC)
starwolf_oakley: (Default)
From: [personal profile] starwolf_oakley
Maybe some M-dashes (long dashes) would work.

"That monster my world is killing itself to fight --on *your* behalf-- just sent two of his thugs to break your boy in two."

"I can't fight and die --in *your* war, on *my* damn feet-- without Thor out there fighting with me"

Re: Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-15 03:30 pm (UTC)
citygod: (Default)
From: [personal profile] citygod
yup, that's better. Em dashes would be more dramatic in a comic book.
I suggest we contact Marvel and suggest they hire us as editors - they could obviously use some help.

Re: Never mind Cap..

Date: 2011-09-16 06:42 pm (UTC)
steverodgers5: (Default)
From: [personal profile] steverodgers5
I suggest we contact Marvel and suggest they hire us as editors - they could obviously use some help.

I think they could, and should, take you two up on that! LOL!

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