Teenage Mutant Ninja Fangirl rage in 3..2..1..

[rebecky_mo]

So according to Bleeding Cool, 2013 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie producer Micheal Bay was talking about the new movie at 'Nickelodeon Upfronts' last week. Here's what he had to say:





"When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we’re done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable."


"These turtles are from an alien race..."

"from an alien race..."

Look, I'm all for changing things up a little bit; I love the new comic, and there's definitely some changes between it an Turtle stories past. But they are Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles, not Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles!

Between the Transformers movies and now this, he's officially earned this:

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!



Also, to follow the rules, and this one feels appropriate for this news:

Comments

[cainofdreaming]

While I've no great appreciation of Bay's directing skills, wouldn't this fall on the shoulders of the guy who wrote the script? Though the framework he was given from marketing might be a bigger factor, dunno.

[rebecky_mo]

He may not have written this script, but he is putting gobs and gobs of money towards getting said script turned into the movie. And as a producer, I believe he has some sway as to some changes to the story. I wouldn't say his hands were clean, in this case.

[kd_the_movie]

Aliens are the new black.

[rebecky_mo]

Funny, I thought that was Zombies, not aliens. Am I that far behind in media 'fashion' trends?...

[aeka]

Yeah, I saw this yesterday, and it basically catered to my confirmation bias that it is everyone's goal this year to set my childhood ablaze, drums of gasoline included.

[rebecky_mo]

I keep reminding myself that there's a new cartoon coming first; hopefully that'll be better.

Who else from your Nostalgia List is getting screwed over lately? D:

[mrstatham]

Doesn't Bay seem to have a habit of this in particular? He screws up a load of horror franchises (Did his production company put out any good remakes other than Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which was sufficiently, interestingly different enough from the original that it worked? Rutger Hauer needs to reenact his Hitcher role on Bay), now he's targeting great eighties franchises. I think we should just be glad that he isn't directing the film, otherwise we wouldn't be able to tell the villains apart, the heroes would probably die halfway through, and we'd probably get some manner of unnecessary, annoying kid sidekick with Bay's token Improbably Hot Girlfriend.

[drmcninja]

I was never that into TMNT, but let me offer my sincerest condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss.

[rebecky_mo]

Crappy childhood reboots affect us all, even if it isn't from our own childhood.

In lieu of flowers, we kindly ask you donate to the 'Keep Micheal Bay the fuck away from our childhood loves' Foundation.

[long_silence]

That is pretty bad. What next is it going to be alien martial arts they know that just so happen to be similar to Earth martial arts?

They better still be raised in NYC sewers by Splinter

[mrstatham]

Nah, Splinter will be replaced by Shia LeBeouf playing some annoying sidekick character who teaches them how to fight.

[darkknightjrk]

Jesus, does the man get off from screwing with popular 80s franchises?

[sleepymax]

I'm pretty sure he signed on to do a Thundercats movie too.

Say it with me now

[blue_bolt]

TEENAGE NINJA ALIEN (MUTANT) TURTLES!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

My reaction..

[big_daddy_d]

This didn't warrant a facepalm. It warranted this:

Please tell me that's real

[sleepymax]

That is honestly the best gif I've ever seen.

[marco]

I saw this earlier. And it hurt.

Transformers was bad enough. This just makes me want to cry. No, we can't just get another cartoon series like the 03 version. We have to have a movie with Michael Bay working on it. At all.

How he completely misses such important elements of the material he works with, I will never be able to understand.

I hate to see how April is going to come out. And I can't wait to count how many explosions we'll get. Since they're aliens now, I'm sure there will be explosions.

[mrstatham]

You just know April will be, like, the next Megan Fox or something along those lines that Bay digs up. And when she calls him a fascist or Hitler or some shit, she'll disappear without a trace.

But hey - be fair. There are a fair few explosions in the original comics. The whole story with Shredder being brought back to life via the Foot clan's bizarro-worm technique would be perfect for Bay given the Foot's entire complex explodes, as I recall. Although that is literally my favourite Turtles story, so I don't want to see him near it.

[espanolbot]

I'm very wary where this is going. I mean, the Transformers movies made a ton of money, but they were the first film franchise I've ever seen that seemed to actively hate its audience to absurd levels.

Chances are this movie will contain lots of offensive Italian and Japanese stereotypes, and lots of shots pointed down April O'Neil's jumpsuit.

Or they could just take the Transformers 2 route and have the female lead run in slow-motion, to emphase the jiggling even though she's supposed to by running for her life.

[mrstatham]

Come on, now, didn't you love that utterly, utterly ridiculous slo-mo shot of Megan Fox sprawled across a motorbike in completely inappropriate attire for working in a garage, with her rear end and private parts basically falling out of the short-shorts?

[eyz]

Next thing you know, they won't be Teenage, but Geriatric. And then they'll be Lizards and not Turtles.
And then...

[mrstatham]

Geriatric Alien Cowboy Lizards?

[abriel]

Dear Hollywood,

Can you please stop letting Bay have control over movie projects that have anything to do with stuff from my childhood that I liked? Please?

Signed,

A child of the 80s



*sigh* He already ruined Transformers, now he's doing TMNT, and I understand Thundercats. If he is let anywhere near the He-Man/She-Ra franchise I am officially going to cry.

[rebecky_mo]

I shudder to think what he'd do to He-man and She-Ra, considering his love of unneeded cheesecake shots (You do NOT do that to Teela, the Sorceress and She-Ra dammit!). God, that poor woman stuck playing Cheetara...

I'm thinking we should be dubbing this whole trend "The Curse of the Bayties (Read like 'eighties') Reboots."

[silverzeo]

I would be surprised... but since Hollywood has been rehashing EVERYTHING from the 80s and other classics...

Mod note

[greenmask]

Whilst I am am as NOOOOOOOO as you at this ridiculous news, this is a post without a scan! And for the purpose of talking non-scan news! Next time, post on noscans, OK?

Re: Mod note

[rebecky_mo]

Whoops, sorry greenmask! I thought my panel on the bottom would be enough for legality. I can add a full-page scan if you'd like?

As for non-scan news, I've seen things here regarding other comic-movie news/shows, so I didn't realize this was an issue. I'll b more careful from now on regarding that.

[icon_uk]

Want to see how it could get EVEN WORSE?


Teenage Muusa Neenja Aliens by *barrypresh on deviantART

[greenmask]

No~

[shadowpsykie]

oh honey, i know the feeling... i don't fan rage alot... but this... THIS?!?!

[benuben]

Michael Bay rescently responded to the whole thing:

“Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of [Teenage Mutant] Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.”

Personally, I am not a fan of his Transformers movies, and I am obviously not in minority here. But unlike with Transformers, he actually seems to give a shit about the franchise, so let's wait atleast for previews, before we all kill ourselves.

[md84]

Personally I hope that when he said they were aliens he actually meant that they were mutated by an alien mutagen. Which is pretty much what happened in the original comics.