Good, Bad, and Ugly uses of Spidey Tech (Amazing Spider-Man #682 spoilers)

[stillanerd]

First, we get an example of the bad. In the beginning of this issue, Spidey goes up against a villain named Equinox, who has the powers of both Iceman and the Human Torch. Since he couldn't come up with web formula specifically designed to stop Equinox in time, Spidey decided to "[borrow] a few tricks from someone else's bag." And just who was that someone else?





Gwen Stacy would approve, I'm sure.

However, when Spidey helps to rush a firefighter to the hospital who had one of his feet broken off as a result of Equinox's freezing powers, we get one of the rarest of scenes in superhero comics: how a costumed hero's high-tech gadgets could actually change the real world:



Okay, it begs the question as to why Peter can't make his web-shooters have practical, real-world applications like all the other stuff he's made for Horizon Labs (not to mention make a certain super genius with elastic powers who heads "the world's greatest superhero team" even more "useless"). However, I do think Slott does a commendable job in actually showing how Peter's Spider-Man inspired inventions actually start to make the world a better place beyond just him fighting crime. What's more, it makes for a nice juxtaposition in Peter believing he's finally making a difference as Peter Parker instead of taking pictures, only to have J. Jonah Jameson, moments later, J. arrives at Horizon Labs and threaten legal action to shut the place down, thus putting Peter new-found success in jeopardy.

But then, Doc Ock sets in motion his "final master plan" towards the end of the issue (which is quite brilliant, by the way), and at last we get to see what Peter has come up in order to prepare himself for his eventual battle with the Sinister Six. And the end result of all that hard work and preparation is this:





Because that's EXACTLY what Spidey really needed all this time: bulky shoulder pads and wrist-mounted laser beams!

All that being said, the issue overall is still quite enjoyable and a good start to the "Ends of the Earth" storyline.

Comments

[lascoden]

I don;t think those are laser beams. If the new suit is a combination of all of his Horizon suits, like the armor he used against Massacre, then I think those are related to his light and sound bending suit.

[daningram.insanejournal.com]

So the climax of Doc Ock's plan is to sell new Spider-Man toys?

[freezer]

For those of us not following Spidey at the moment: Why is JJJ trying to shut Horizon down (other than to fit in the mandated amount of Jamesondickery)?

[stillanerd]

Jonah actually lists a host of reasons:

1. Instead of turning over the jamming devices that disable Spider-Man's spider-sense after "Spider-Island" (they were based on a device Peter made to short out Alistair Smythe's new spider-slayers which also ended up shorting out his own spider-sense shorted out because of them and they used them to contain the population of New York from leaving when they were under quarantine) and thus having something that could "control and contain Spider-Man," Max Modell ordered that they be destroyed them to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands and used against Spidey.

2. That one of the Horizon Lab's workers (Grady Scraps) made a time-machine that, in one possible future, destroyed all of New York City (as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #678-679).

3. That Max Modell, the head of Horizon Labs, has Morbius the Living Vampire working there as an employee.

4. But Jonah's primary reason is that because the space station John Jameson was on was created by Horizon Labs and malfunctioned, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #680-681, Jonah blames Max Modell for putting his son's life in danger.

[auggie18]

Huh. I actually like this direction. (Peter doing more good as a civilian. Plus, the nice art certainly helps.)

As always, a bit iffy on Spider-Armor. And Spider-Gliders. (Seriously?)

[silverzeo]

You think the jeep would have told him he doesn't need any transport...

Number 1 rule of Spider-Man

[silverzeo]

Never EVER think how great your life is, don't even think about how good it is. That's right before you take a sharp turn to heck via Irony Highway.

Re: Number 1 rule of Spider-Man

[darkblade]

Also the general rule of thinking you hit rock bottom and saying it can't get worse applies double. It's best not to put qualifiers on situations at all.

[cainofdreaming]

Oh, there's no way that works that way. Not one in a million chance...

I hit another verbal mine, didn't I?

[frutepye]

I am stealing the Stephen Colbert headdesk. I don't know where I have been that I haven't seen it before but it is epic.

[glprime]

Still, it's awesome to have Peter cry "Avengers Assemble!" after being the loner so long. Just like when the Sinister Twelve got together, and everybody in New York came running to help out Pete, just 'cuz MJ called.

[stolisomancer]

Wow, Equinox. He's from the old Claremont/Byrne run on Marvel Team-Up, so he hasn't been seen in thirty years or so.

[long_silence]

He was a part of the Fifty State Initiative a few years back.

Though I think that was a Skrull.

[darkknightjrk]

Yeah, the little bombs like Norman I can accept, but why would he even need a Spider-Glider?

As for the Richards Is Useless troupe you throw out with this, I actually saw a decent counter-point to this over on the Bleeding Cool forum:

"Why don't the Fantastic Four provide the world with flying cars? Because some dingus...either a drunk frat boy or a terrorist...would crash it into a building and kill a lot of people. Why doesn't Reed create a cure for cancer? Because for the millions he saved dozens would die, and then he'd have to spend his time in court. I think Jonathan Hickman's SHIELD...years after Morrison's Sci-Fi Closet for Batman...provided the perfect narrative escape from these kinds of questions. All through out Marvel's history, da Vinci, Galileo, and such could have made the world a utopia, except they kept getting distracting trying to keep it from being destroyed. The reason people think Reed Richards is Useless is because...instead of conducting three years of drug trials, answering endless bug reports, and dealing with help desk phone calls...he's inventing shit to stop Celestials and Dr. Doom from glassing the planet."

[dr_archeville]

I've used a similar thing for the "Reed Richards Is Useless" trope in my superhero games. The stuff the super-geniuses make is so advanced, most peer review boards simply cannot make heads or tails of it. The only ones who can do a proper review of it are other super-geniuses, but they're either busy making their own super-tech, or countering/fighting supervillains and other threats.

[darkblade]

Of course Peer Review boards probably would have nixxed things like Ultron in the bud.

[halloweenjack]

"Why don't the Fantastic Four provide the world with flying cars? Because some dingus...either a drunk frat boy or a terrorist...would crash it into a building and kill a lot of people."

This I agree with, although having a ground-effect-type car would save wear and tear on roads--a huge expense and inconvenience to repair--and allowing authorized emergency vehicles to fly would save lives and vastly decrease response time.

"Why doesn't Reed create a cure for cancer? Because for the millions he saved dozens would die, and then he'd have to spend his time in court."

Lots of types of treatments have potential adverse effects; thousands of people die every year just from general anesthetic.

"I think Jonathan Hickman's SHIELD...years after Morrison's Sci-Fi Closet for Batman...provided the perfect narrative escape from these kinds of questions. All through out Marvel's history, da Vinci, Galileo, and such could have made the world a utopia, except they kept getting distracting trying to keep it from being destroyed. The reason people think Reed Richards is Useless is because...instead of conducting three years of drug trials, answering endless bug reports, and dealing with help desk phone calls...he's inventing shit to stop Celestials and Dr. Doom from glassing the planet."

Richards wouldn't be doing those drug trials himself, but the Galactus Answer is plenty good in and of itself. I tend to think that the net result of supergeniuses in the world would be closer to the versions of New York City that we saw in Watchmen and Promethea: life would be more or less like it is now, with the exception of some consumer goods and maybe a few buildings.

[ap0cryphal]

So what, was the FF's garage door locked or something? o_O

Also, hey, Red Hood! Man, that Jason really gets around, doesn't he? So he's an avenger now? That's aces.

No but really, all that already-fantastic armour needs is more pouches and a jetpack. Or a goblin-glider backpack.

[dr_archeville]

I'm almost certain they have touched on Parker trying to sell his webbing formula before, to construction companies, only to be turned down b/c it crumbles to dust after an hour.

I'd imagine that might be a good property for certain types of construction.

I'd also imagine it might have some medical uses: making temporary bandages.

[jcbaggee]

It seems like he's used it to stop up wounds in the past, hasn't he?

[jcbaggee]

eh. Don't hate it. It may not look Spidey-ish, but it's just for this arc and then we'll likely never see it again. And all things considered, it doesn't look THAT bad.

[zechs80]

Oh a Red Hood/Spider-Man crossover!! And you wanna bet that glider and new bombs will be stolen by Phil Urich? Or worse.. if my theory holds true that Roderick Kingsley is still among the living and not deceased as we're lead to believe.

[eyz]

Getting rid of his agility and ability to move freely in the air for more protective armor? yeah...smart move Pete!...

[icon_uk]

Though we don't know how much it WOULD remove his agility and and freedom of movement.

[eyz]

It's a big bulky clunky armor, visually speaking.
At best it'll be like the "Iron Spider" costume, you know, that one that laster for an entire issue...only.

[icon_uk]

Visually speaking yes, but given that Spider-Man can lift somewhere in the region of 10 tons, the notion that any outfit not actively composed of Sherman tanks and concrete blocks would actually limit his speed, agility or movement that much never quite gels with me.

[eyz]

I can lift a big heavy motor car over my head...doesn't mean I'd be confortable wearing that weight in a costume!


Okay, okay..this is going nowhere... but you get my point.

[icon_uk]

I can lift a big heavy motor car over my head...doesn't mean I'd be confortable wearing that weight in a costume!

If your musclature is THAT much more powerful than a normal person (and Peter's is) you wouldn't notice the weight of your costume if it was lined with sandbags and trimmed with lead.

Okay, okay..this is going nowhere... but you get my point.

Up to a point yes... but factoring in superstrength changes it's relevance I think. :)

[valtyr]

Actually distributing weight over your body makes it easier to carry - you could wear a suit of chainmail comfortably for a lot longer than you could hold it over your head.

[valtyr]

Although I will say it takes a while to learn to manage your momentum with the added weight. I once aquaplaned into a tree, it was amazing.

[protogarrett]

Clasiic Spider Suit
Symbiote Suit
Iron Spider
Stealth Spider
90's SPider Suit
Scarlet Spider Suit
FF Suit

Am I missing any? Lord, Peter has had more costume and power alterations in the last 10 years than any other hero. (I actually like the Iron Spider suit.)

[nightauditguy]

I don't know, I think the Wasp (Janet) had a new costume every other week

[eyz]

Yup, Janet still got the record on costumes I think :P

[halloweenjack]

There's a bit in Watchmen where Nite Owl has a rack of alternate costumes in the owlship: underwater, hazmat, etc. plus of course the cold weather costume which is sort of based on an Arctic owl, which he actually uses. That's what Spider-Man reminds me of these days.

*head tilt*

[illian]

Peter's always been exceptionally bright in most of his incarnations (he's kept up with Richards AND Stark at various points) but if this version has invented the Cryo Cube, that polymer, a comfortable design of noise reduction headphones that's popular and who knows what else, short of working for a Stereotypical Evil Corporate that is stealing its interns ideas, Peter ought to be rolling in the money right now (promotions, raises, bonuses, possibly even percentages of the contracts).

Re: *head tilt*

[icon_uk]

It's standard policy for patents arrived at whilst working at a lab to be the property of the lab, not Peter.

Re: *head tilt*

[tsunamiwombat]

Really? So he's producing multi-billion dollar idea's he doesn't even need the Lab for, and the corp is pocketing all the money.

Wow. Peter, your a dumbass.

Re: *head tilt*

[sir_razorback]

I don't think it'd be *all* the money, if he didn't get part of the funds they generate, why would he still be there?

That and the corp. gives him acess to resources that he wouldn't normally have, unless you want him linking his civvie identity to hero groups like teh Avengers or FF. Just my thoughts on one plausible way it would make sense.

Re: *head tilt*

[illian]

Right, standard for comics and real world. My suspension of disbelief is just encountering a momentary bumpy road while I'm trying to wrap my head around a company that isn't attempting to keep someone who has churned out at least three profitable patents for them (more or less by himself, knowing comics) as financially happy as possible. Even Wolfram & Hart offered bonuses and incentives! ;P

Don't mind me, on a meta level I understand why it isn't happening but apparently I should go get the entire suspension adjusted/replaced.

Re: *head tilt*

[tsunamiwombat]

Even if he only has a percentage, yes, he ought to be insanely wealthy.

[atom_punk]

Red Hood?! When did you switch over to Marvel?

Seriously though, where is this armor costume coming from? I stopped following Spider-Man comics after a friend explaining One More Day to me. :P

[lascoden]

A while back, he lost his Spider-Sense temporarily, so he made a special bulletproof suit since he couldn't dodge them anymore. It's the helmet polymer he's talking about in the spread.

[halloweenjack]

So:

- Spider-Man is Green Goblin.

- Spider-Man is Reed Richards.

- Spider-Man is Iron Man.

Wanna bet he gets some Spider-arrows next?