The First X-Men #5

[flint_marko]

Remember this? It's time for the thrilling conclusion.

This issue came out in January, so I'm posting seven pages.

Wolverine and Sabretooth's team of mutants are attacked by the government's sentinels, who have a parasitic mutant named Virus with them. Virus is controlling Sabretooth and making him battle Wolverine, until Holly (the girl with Mastermind-like abilities) creates an illusion where Virus is a normal human being, breaking his control. Sabretooth fatally wounds Virus, but before he dies he forces Sabretooth to attack Holly (who Sabretooth had earlier fallen in love with).






Wolverine decapitates one of the sentinels, causing a fuel leak that sets the house on fire.

It turns out two of the kids Wolverine and Sabretooth rescued are kids of one of the agents who are watching in the woods. He runs into the house to save them, when Xavier shows up in his astral form. He tells the agent that his colleagues will see him die in the flames, and to take his children and run. 

We see Sabretooth get Holly to a hospital. She pulls through, they run away together, get married, start a family, and grow old together. But in the end it turns out to be just be an illusion Holly gave to him before she dies in his arms.

Wolverine emerges from the rubble, where FBI agent Fred Duncan is waiting for him.












Wolverine tells them to sign him up.

Comments

[cainofdreaming]

Wow.

It's not often you see story going to such lengths to climb into the tree of continuity ass-first. So many things not working here...

[silverhammerman]

I'm so confused, that was like a concentrated dose of crazy in comic book form. It just makes zero sense. Is this canon? Either way I feel like this is going to be largely ignored by both fans and writers.
I will say though, that I think the telepath simulating a happy life for her and Sabretooth is a neat idea, and I feel like I must have seen it before somewhere.

[auggie18]

First two to come to mind are Psylocke to Angel during the Dark Angel thing and Brian to that old lady in that one episode of Family Guy. (Though that was through VR helmets.)

[flint_marko]

According to Nick Lowe it's supposed to be canon, though it contradicts a lot of prior stories and I don't see how it can really fit into continuity.

I will say though, that I think the telepath simulating a happy life for her and Sabretooth is a neat idea, and I feel like I must have seen it before somewhere.

It happened in the Dark Angel saga with Betsy and Warren back in 2011.

[majingojira]

You can hardly expect a writer to look back 2 years into a character's history now can you. Hell, I know of writers who won't look back 6 months before shifting continuity.

[skemono]

I'm so confused, that was like a concentrated dose of crazy in comic book form. It just makes zero sense.

And yet it's still a masterpiece of cohesion compared to his work on Batman.

[q99]

Yea, it's a "it's intended to be canon but really won't be," thing.

[seisachtheia]

It's common enough I'd be kind of surprised if it didn't have its own page on tvtropes. I've got vague memories of at least three or four different versions of it.

[filthysize]

So the day has come, when I feel the need to scream to comic book publishers, "Neal Adams has a pitch for a book he wants to do for you! RUN AWAY."

[halloweenjack]

Dear Erik:

Lestat called and he wants his outfit back--wait, he just saw the pictures and changed his mind.

[domino_blue]

Well good I needed some paper to put into a fire this year.

[mrstatham]

... What?

What?

Um... What?

[monkey12]

Something about the art for this title bothered me. It was like everyone had only two faces; dull surprise and enraged howler monkey. I dunno, maybe I'm just not seeing the appeal.

[captainbellman]

Edmund Burke also said that the French revolutionaries were ungrateful, bloodthirsty dogs who should have been proud to have lived in a civilisation noble and prosperous enough to support the aristocrats that oppressed them.

Which a man as classically educated as Chas Xavier ought to have known. I mean, it's not like he just skimmed google for 15 minutes looking for a meaningful quote, like some comic book writer trying to jazz up his third-rate prequel story...

[wizardru]

Edmund Burke was a study in contrasts: he supported the American Revolution when he was a member of Parliment, but also openly opposed the French Revolution after the radicals took control. He's considered the father of modern conservatism AND a classic liberalist.

More importantly, though, is the fact that that quote is apocryphal and doesn't actually appear in any of Burke's writings. It's often attributed to him, but he never said it.

[mortimerwclankitybritches]

Soooo Sabertooth now has himself a sob story to try and turn him into some kind of "tragic villain", and magneto now looks like a more flamboyant version of William Hartnell as the First Doctor

[magusfool]

Hey, remember when Neil Adams could draw really well? What happened to those days?

[featheredserpent]

...and didn't try to write? Because here, he was apparently typing with both ass cheeks.

[magusfool]

Yeah, except he didn't do the typing. He only came up with the premise and plot (which is, admittedly ludicrious). Christos Gage actually wrote the script. He should have been able to turn this around into a good story (even if Adams' art has gone way down the tubes, although I think a lot of it is the clumbsy digital inking and absolutely horrendous color work). But, based on interviews I read, Gage was just way to starstruck working with a legend to actually tell him "No" on anything. They should have gotten an older, more experienced scripter who wouldn't feel so intimidated working with Adams.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=38809

Calling it:

[featheredserpent]

Female character (personality optional) introduced? Check.
Female character defined by relationship to male character? Check.
Female character gratuitously killed off to further relationship between male characters? Check!

WiR TRIFECTA! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!