Why Kandor Hates Us

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

Another 1.0 repost. Okay, so--New Krypton. They couldn't wait to go. But why? Our breath? Foul language? The way we turn to a sort of crunchy jelly with just one strong hug? No no no, silly.

As usual, fucking Silver Age Lois. Read this and keep in mind what a simple earthquake can do.

(c)DC Comics.

Comments

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

Yup, she's a monster, but... Kandor needs an air pump? Because Rao knows we wouldn't want to do anything like, say, just stand the damn bottle in yellow sunlight which would make them instantly invulnerable and superstrong and never need to worry about air again. If they leave the gravity generator on then they don't need to worry about the flying.

Because that might make them question whether, even as micro-beings, they might not be able to be of some damn use to the planet which shelters them.

[jlroberson.insanejournal.com]

There are actually other issues. Like how lungs don't work the same when reduced in size; the molecules become too big to be absorbed.

Granted, in yellow sunlight they don't have to breathe. But then he'd only have Krypto. He wanted an ant farm too.

[katzedecimal.insanejournal.com]

Silver Age Lois would probably do that. "They're from Krypton, like Superman!" she'd think, "Yellow sunlight gives Superman powers.. I bet if I put this bottle in yellow sunlight, they'd get superpowers too!"

And she would put the bottle out in the sun... and the temperature inside would climb and climb, turning the bottle into an oven, boiling the lakes and swimming pools, slowly cooking the inhabitants, their tiny screams bouncing off the glass, until at last someone has enough super-strength - and is still conscious enough - to break the bottle and wreck horrible vengeance... Yeah, it's no wonder they hate us, really. Also, I need tea.

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

That's disturbingly... plausible!

[katzedecimal.insanejournal.com]

You know the one who made it out was General Zod. Really, it explains so much :-P