Why it sucks to be Kurt Wagner (or: "Healing factors are for sissies")

[roily_rogue.insanejournal.com]

Let's take a look at just how much punishment Kurt's taken the last couple years:

X-men #205 (part 5 of Messiah Complex)




And here is his awakening in the infirmary in New X-men #46 (chapter twelve of Messiah Complex). When trying to figure out the timeline, I came up with this being merely a couple days afterwards:




This is from the following chapter of MC - X-men #207. He's looking awfully spry for someone who was just teleported away from the infirmary after waking up from a near-lethal wound. And I have no idea where his bandages went:


After Messiah Complex was over and he went on vacation with Logan and Piotr. He's still healing from the wound and is using a cane.
In Uncanny X-men #497, this happens:




And in Uncanny X-men #498, this:




Still, right after that, (Uncanny X-men #499), he takes care of Omega Red:




In Uncanny X-men #500, he is punched in the face by Magneto. I don't have the comic, so no scan, sorry, but I wanted to point it out because of the insult to injury.

Moving on,
Secret Invasion: X-men #2:

And in #4, he gets punched in the lower regions by a Skrull, but I do not have the issue, so no scan.

X-Infernus #1:


And then came his X-men: Manifest Destiny - Nightcrawler one-shot. Where he decides to quit the X-men for some reason. He gets shot anyway:



But hey, all in a day's work:


Kurt returns to the X-men, re-invigorated! And in Uncanny X-men #509, he gets stabbed by Spiral. No issue, so no scan. But this time, Elixir heals him and from Kurt's amazed reaction, I take it it's the first time.

And then we have Wolverine Origins #34, where he gets stabbed in the guts by Daken.
He gives something back, though. He may be injury-prone, but you can't complain about his fighting spirit:

From Wolverine: Origins #35



Still...SIGH.

Comments

[thefreak.insanejournal.com]

Thank you! I have been so annoyed at this for a long time and thought about doing the same. Of course you would have to include the 80's XMEN as well, where he was shot, beaten by an angrey mob and injured by the Marauders (which is why he wound up in Excalibur after the XMen left him on Muir Island).

It truly is a meme at this point.

[roily_rogue.insanejournal.com]

Oh, he had quite a track record even BEFORE Messiah Complex. I just focused on this era, because it's over such a short time-span.

But sure, before that he was shredded by Riptide, had his leg broken by Captain Britain, was shot in the back with a crossbow bolt by the Neo, stabbed by a Mystique look-alike, shot with a regular bullet by people-smugglers, zapped on two separate occasions by a fake Cyclops, had a plane thrown at him by the Hulk, was nearly drowned by Omega Red, etc etc etc.

Kurt's been a punching bag for as long as I can remember, really. I'm not even counting all the times he's just been plain knocked out without any serious recovery time needed. It's kind of sad.