proteus_lives: (Default)
[personal profile] proteus_lives posting in [community profile] scans_daily
Greetings True Believers! I got off early from the work to watch the SB with some friends. (For all the good it did me, goddamned Saints.) I thought I'd make myself feel better by posting one of Marvel's great, late and unlamented series: NFL SuperPro!

It is perhaps the worst Marvel comic of all time. I'm glad I own an issue of it. Enjoy! For this is crack and it's what we're here for!

Suggested tags: char: superpro, title: superpro, creator: fabian nicieza, publisher: marvel comics

The plot does not matter. Something about a crime boss, game fixing and the NFL. Just roll with it!

This dude is trying to kill another dude.

Football pun, hooray!

Dude is shot by another dude. SuperPro gives chase and......cameo!

Gratuitous thy name is Spidey.

And he has a wise black friend!

The origin of SuperPro!

Some assassins go to kill a NFL player, SuperPro leaps into action!

Oh, man I wish I had #2. Quick Kick was a placekicker turned ninja. It's crazy, reading through the whole thing is like trying to solve the Lament Configuration or saying Candyman five times in the mirror. It's dangerous.

If anyone has other issues, please post them!

Date: 2010-02-08 05:30 am (UTC)
worldwillshout: Kyle Rayner Facepalm (facepalm)
From: [personal profile] worldwillshout
I actually own this comic.
The sad thing. I got it from a back issue bin as a child cause I thought it looked cool.

Date: 2010-02-08 05:42 am (UTC)
akodo_rokku: (Default)
From: [personal profile] akodo_rokku
Nobody ever believes me when I tell them about Superpro.

That's probably for the best.

Date: 2010-02-08 05:50 am (UTC)
shanejayell: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shanejayell

So did Marvel have to pay to use the NFL logo, or did the NFL phone marvel up with 'We've got an idea for a tie in comic....'

Date: 2010-02-08 07:36 am (UTC)
freezer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] freezer
It was a joint Marvel/NFL project. Interesting thing is Pro Set made a Superpro trading card which worth about twenty times what the comic is.

Date: 2010-02-08 06:10 am (UTC)
queenanthai: (Default)
From: [personal profile] queenanthai

Date: 2010-02-08 11:38 am (UTC)
ext_399474: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
If they hadn't have lost they totally would have won man.

Date: 2010-02-08 06:15 pm (UTC)
punishermax: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punishermax
Hey be nice the Colts had to put Manning on suicide watch after that game. God I am tired. Of the announce team blowing him every god damn game.

Date: 2010-02-08 06:45 am (UTC)
silverzeo: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silverzeo
Oh what fun Deadpool will have with this man....

You know, after watching the NC's review of battlefield Earth... I realized... Thundercats Dogs of War was just like it.

Date: 2010-02-08 07:03 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
Actually, and I can't believe I'm defending Battlefield Earth, but I don't recall it featuring a scene where a barely-legal, barely-clothed Wilykit is mind-controlled by Mumm-Ra and bathes him, which I do recall being a scene in the Ford Gilmore-written comics.

Date: 2010-02-08 02:40 pm (UTC)
silverzeo: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silverzeo
No, that's Thundercats: The Return. The way Wilykit appears at the start of this "saga" he looks like a savage "man-animal." Dogs of War is the one with the somewhat stupid alien overlords, who somehow manage to conquer countless other planets, are easily defeated by their band of slaves, the Lizardians (sp?) who could have easily put an end to them at anytime, but simply chose to wait until they set their eyes on their messiah...

Date: 2010-02-08 02:41 pm (UTC)
silverzeo: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silverzeo
You think DP will ask him for season tickets?

Date: 2010-02-08 07:01 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
These scans make this comic look much, much better than it actually was.

Seriously, this was some shithouse storytelling, enough to earn this title a mention as one of the worst comics ever made, alongside Street Poet Ray, a comic book so indefensibly awful that even Kurt Busiek, The World's Nicest Human, calls it complete crap.

None of this is to discourage you from posting more scans. Like Jack Chick, these are so jaw-droppingly bad that they must be shared and inflicted upon others. :)

Date: 2010-02-08 07:16 am (UTC)
cleome45: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cleome45
Do you have that list somewhere? I need to see how many of the, er, "winners," I've actually read and/or owned.

Date: 2010-02-08 07:21 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
I actually just now tried to find it, and I'm starting to suspect it was on Geocities or Angelfire, because I'm getting a lot of dead links. :(

The list included NFL SuperPro, Street Poet Ray, the issues of Power Pack where they turned the book grim-and-gritty, and the Hulk annual where the entire story centers on the Hulk attempting to rape She-Hulk.

Date: 2010-02-08 07:34 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
Dude, on THIS comm? You KNOW you have to!

That was one of those stories where I literally looked at the page and said out loud, to an empty room, "I DID NOT JUST FUCKING READ HULK-ON-SHE-HULK RAPE-FIC PUBLISHED IN CANON BY MARVEL."

Date: 2010-02-08 07:49 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
Poor Paul Jenkins. He's a very nice man who told some great Spider-Man stories, but ... Jesus.

Date: 2010-02-08 08:01 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
To be fair, this was when Marvel was in its Fuck It We'll Get Jenkins To Fix Everything Byrne Fucked Up mode, and I think it spread him a bit thin.

Date: 2010-02-08 03:01 pm (UTC)
cleome45: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cleome45
Well, I was lucky enough to not own those, and the only one I even actually heard of was Street Poet Ray. However, I did once own several issues of US1-- just in case that earns me any anti-cred in this thread. :D

Date: 2010-02-08 08:06 pm (UTC)
foxhack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] foxhack
Tried feeding those old addresses into the Wayback Archive? I've found a lot of old Geocities sites archived there, dude.

Date: 2010-02-08 08:13 pm (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
Good suggestion. Thanks!

Date: 2010-02-08 07:32 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
The one "fan" page for it that I can no longer find online was fucking hilarious for how much it detailed the WTF plot points. It was like the book's concept was storyboarded by a room full of people with head injury traumas. It made Chuck Austen look coherent.

Date: 2010-02-08 07:49 am (UTC)
box_in_the_box: (Default)
From: [personal profile] box_in_the_box
Everybody has their off-moments, I suppose.

Date: 2010-02-08 05:06 pm (UTC)
sarno001: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sarno001
"Off-moments"? Dude, free NFL tickets! Good on him! He could have written Superpro as a Dallas cheerleader that gained her powers through experimental testosterone supplements in an effort to draw attention to the plight of women's football players and I'd support this.

Throw in a slice of apple pie and you've got yourself a true all-American comic!

Date: 2010-02-08 08:16 am (UTC)
jcbaggee: Jesus (Default)
From: [personal profile] jcbaggee
I'm busy the next few days (and, well, have never scanned anything before -- I use other people's scans usually >_>) but I've got issue #2. I'll try to scan it.

Date: 2010-02-08 09:09 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] psychopathicus_rex
Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy. Every time I look at that outfit, it gets stupider and stupider looking. News flash, Mr. Superpro - those shoes and that helmet look stupid on people who are PLAYING THE ACTUAL GAME. They should NOT be worn by someone who is NOT playing the game.

Date: 2010-02-08 09:48 am (UTC)
iondan: (Default)
From: [personal profile] iondan
I have never watched a Superbowl in my life, Though I did watch Paul mccartney's half-time show that one year.

Date: 2010-02-08 10:38 am (UTC)
iondan: (Default)
From: [personal profile] iondan
It's sort of reworked from a comment I saw on an article about a guy who ran his Tundra into a dealership and blamed his pedal. The original had a wolf and was worded different, I thought it was chuckle worthy.

For whatever record though my mom's got a Matrix and it's an good car so I don't really have anything against Toyota. I actually feel really bad for their CEO, a lot of this mess was his predecessor's fault.

Date: 2010-02-08 10:55 am (UTC)
punishermax: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punishermax
Peyton Manning looked a little like Damien from the Omen as the Colts started to implode.

Also, the Saint's better send him a nice gift basket for his help in winning the game for them

Date: 2010-02-08 03:09 pm (UTC)
iskander: (Default)
From: [personal profile] iskander
Aw, no posted "Kickers Inc".

Date: 2010-02-08 04:13 pm (UTC)
icon_uk: (Default)
From: [personal profile] icon_uk
Yeah, I wondered if anyone was going to mention them! :)

Date: 2010-02-08 03:24 pm (UTC)
tacobob: Mordecai Not Very Impressed (Default)
From: [personal profile] tacobob
Sorry Spidey, I don't think Super-Pro is going to be on the front page.

Date: 2010-02-08 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Worst comic? Sounds like people are forgetting about Marville.

Date: 2010-02-08 05:30 pm (UTC)
halloweenjack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halloweenjack
Didn't Garth Ennis write this?

Ut, sorry, wrong Pro.

Date: 2010-02-08 06:19 pm (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
As someone from Louisiana I am quite content that the Saints won.


As to the comic-ROFLMAO.

Date: 2010-02-09 05:10 am (UTC)
mcity: (sue)
From: [personal profile] mcity
I knew this was worse than my 10-year old self thought it was, but I never stopped to consider how a sniper misses the presence of a six-foot man in brightly colored NFL duds right in front of him.

I mean, the lawsuit from the NFL alone for unauthourized logo usage would put him out of business in about a week. And why is he expositing to the assassin? And why do you need a killer on the ground if you already have a sniper?
When I saw the second panel when I was a kid, I could've sworn his fist was smoking. "Wait-he PUNCHED the rocket?"


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