glprime: (Default)
[personal profile] glprime posting in [community profile] scans_daily
Welcome once again, to the major comics crossover event that made readers say, "...Wait, What?"

We're throwing comics at the wall here to see what sticks. (why yes, I have just finished a Portal 2 binge.)

Combining (broadly) the Doom Patrol and X-Force, two misfit bands of tragic mutants led by a rather unbalanced, near-sociopathic Futurist gets us...

In New York City, a disparate group of costumed metamutant heroes have been gathered at the defunct and rather literally named X-Building (more World's Fair structures should be re-purposed for super-heroics) by some Mysterious Benefactor that knows all about them.

Whoo! Awesome characterization for Ms. Janet Van Dyne! She's really come a long ways from the original '60s comics, amirite? And dig that '90s art! (it's pencilled by Roger Cruz, with inks by Jon Heldredge)

Roll Call!

SHATTERSTARFIRE (Starfire/Shatterstar plus elements of Incredible Hulk's K'ai storyline)

With the number of times she spouts "Zal!" you have to wonder if she wasn't just exiled by her people for her constant offensive blaspheming.

BEASTLING (Changeling aka Beast Boy/Beast)

DIAL H.U.S.K. (Dial H.E.R.O./Husk plus each transforation is a new character)

FERRO-MAN (Ferro Lad/Colossus)

ELASTI-GIRL (Elasti-Girl/The Wasp plus elements of Domino)

I really want to start using that to introduce myself to new people. "My name is ____ and I am from YOUR FUTURE!" Wearing cybernetics would help to make it more exciting, however.

The newly formed Patrol is taken by their prophetic leader to the fortress of one DR. DOOMSDAY aka "The Man Who Fought The JLA to a Standstill" aka "The Monster Who Cannot Be Killed" aka "Thanoseid's Best Bud."

(interesting side-note: Doc's energy blasts have the unique sound effect of VDOOM! That's ego-centrism the likes of which only DOOM and his alternate-reality counterparts are capable of achieving)

While delaying the villain, Niles discovers Doomsday's plot to cross the dimensional barrier and retrieve the (unknowingly merged) Marvel and DC heroes, bringing them under his control. Doomsday's attempts to regain the advantage ends up destroying his portal machinery, and somehow causing paralysis in Cable's legs.

I know it's Narrative Causality bending the universe, but good lord, the man already has cybernetic prosthetics, how on Earth can his cyborg legs be permanently out of commission from a physical blow?

Carrying on to another time, another adventure of the fledgling team (Exciting X-Patrol #1 pencilling by Bryan Hitch, inks by Paul Neary)...

Another example of Narrative Causality; this guy started out as the DC regular, Brother Blood, but eventually fell into being Brother Brood.

Back at the X-Building...

To the vehicle!

While I like Elasti-Girl being the 2nd in command (a person with an innate skill at figuring and acting on odds), Janet's idea of "plan" is Operation: GIGNGOA
(Get In/Get Niles/Get Out Alive).

"Prez: Master of Kung Fu"? Oh, good grief...

So, Niles can cure himself of the Brood infection... but he'd die of the Techno-Virus. He has to choose between dying as part of the Brood (and not knowing if the horror of a Brood-infected metamutant Armageddon comes to pass) or dying from bad '90s writing (it's the silent killer among fanboys).

Meanwhile... the X-Patrol makes their way back to the cavern Niles and Shatterstarfire were hiding in, where Beastling wonders why there's so many stalactites without corresponding stalagmites on the ground. Cue the Aliens homage.

So much crack, it's hard to know where to begin:

- ARTEMISTY KNIGHT. They're ripping ligaments they're stretching so hard.

- Shatterstarfire was actually right to worry about Terra-X's ability to avoid the Brood, showing that crazed instincts trump logic every time in comics.

- Terra-Brood is only concerned with preg/mpreg fantasies of her ex-teammates (Wouldn't that be an interesting supervillain?)

- The combining of two realities leads to a weakening of the Fourth Wall, as everyone comments on how many times the Traitor always gets another chance to betray people.

What becomes of the X-Patrol? Do they succeed in saving Niles and preventing the Brood/Metamutant destruction the future? What does a Techno-Virus
infection do to you? All but one of these questions will be unanswered forever. The one that will be answered shall be revealed... now.


That's all for the X-Patrol. If you want more of that mess, track down the issues in your nearest dollar bin retailer (or more likely, the net).

I'll be taking a break from Amalgam Comics for a bit and jumping in to building the Resurrection Man profile.

14 1/3 pages behind the cut, 7 from X-Patrol #1 and 7 1/3 from Exciting X-Patrol #1.

Date: 2011-08-24 07:26 am (UTC)
aaron_bourque: default (Default)
From: [personal profile] aaron_bourque
The wonderful world of THONGS.

Date: 2011-08-24 07:35 am (UTC)
blake_reitz: (Default)
From: [personal profile] blake_reitz
Shatterstarfire is just...such...a name.

Date: 2011-08-24 08:46 am (UTC)
arbre_rieur: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arbre_rieur
Are you kidding? "Prez: Master of Kung Fu" was the best part!

Date: 2011-08-24 09:09 am (UTC)
tacitoz: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tacitoz
Why is the only thing I can think of whether those girls wearing these weird bathingsuit-like outfits shaave their nether regions every day or use wax...Seriously, that would be such a hassle.

Date: 2011-08-24 11:11 am (UTC)
lakrids404: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lakrids404

Date: 2011-08-24 12:13 pm (UTC)
wizardru: Hellboy (Default)
From: [personal profile] wizardru
I really WANT to like this, but it's...too much. It's like cotton candy: a little is great...a lot makes you sick to your stomach. This is trying SO HARD and just reading a couple of pages makes my head hurt. It's not bad, strictly speaking, just so BUSY.

It's like the creators came up with about 50 hybrid-character ideas and then they ride that horse until bloody foam is coming out of it's mouth and its eyes are wild with fear and madness before it collapses and dies. It's too clever for it's own good. It falls somewhere between a master's class in comics nerd lore and punnery. Artemisty Knight? Wow. I mean, just....WOW.

Date: 2011-08-24 02:37 pm (UTC)
thanekos: Yoshikage Kira as Kosaku Kawajiri, after the second arrow. (Default)
From: [personal profile] thanekos
I like how natural Hawk and Dagger sounds.

The Imperial Suicide Squad, a little less so.. but Amanda Deathbird is a cool name, so it works.

Date: 2011-08-24 02:56 pm (UTC)
shadowpsykie: Information (Default)
From: [personal profile] shadowpsykie
is it just me... or is Shatterstarfire's costume HERE alot similar to her NuCostume?

Date: 2011-08-24 03:14 pm (UTC)
dr_archeville: Doctor Arkeville (Default)
From: [personal profile] dr_archeville
I know it's Narrative Causality bending the universe, but good lord, the man already has cybernetic prosthetics, how on Earth can his cyborg legs be permanently out of commission from a physical blow?

The "primitive tech" of the modern era can't be used to repair the hyper-advanced cybernetics from his future?

Weirdly, I think Terra + Terrax = Terra-X kinda works.

Date: 2011-08-24 04:42 pm (UTC)
icon_uk: (Default)
From: [personal profile] icon_uk
more World's Fair structures should be re-purposed for super-heroics

The All Star Squadron used to meet in the Perisphere and Trylon from the 1939 World's Fair.

Date: 2011-08-24 07:31 pm (UTC)
pyrotwilight: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pyrotwilight
Goodness how I love the crack that is Amalgam.

Shatterstarfire! <3

Paige as WonderGirl/Donna which is a combo of Donna and WonderMan's outfits. :0

Date: 2011-08-24 07:51 pm (UTC)
rickperry: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rickperry
DC and Marvel should make more of their combinded characters!

Date: 2011-08-24 10:15 pm (UTC)
halloweenjack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halloweenjack
I'm liking Hitch's art here more than what it eventually became, even though 1) it's very reminiscent of Alan Davis (not that that's a bad thing--quite the opposite) and 2) he does that thing where a character holds their hand up in front of their face about every third panel.

Date: 2011-08-25 03:38 am (UTC)
ladytimedramon: (Sexy Gar)
From: [personal profile] ladytimedramon
Beastling = so much win *_*

I'm glad you got to my favorite pair of Amalgams before taking a break :D

BTW, I suspect Ferro Man is supposed to also have a touch of Robotman, as the Robotman replacement of the DP group.

If this was a regular comic, I would so buy it. But right now I'm boycotting all US produced comics in favor of manga/manhwa.

Date: 2011-08-25 08:03 am (UTC)
proteus_lives: (Default)
From: [personal profile] proteus_lives
Oh, this takes me back.


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