Merc with a Myth

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

Four scans apiece from Assault on New Olympus Prologue and Deadpool Team-Up #899, featuring the Incredible Hercules.

In descending order of seriousness, we start off with the Deadpool issue, in which Deadpool and Herc get trapped inside a labyrinth by the villain team-up of Arcade (who wants to kill Deadpool for horning in on his assassin business) and Nightmare (who wants revenge on Hercules for the whole "God Squad" episode). They get attacked by a bunch of robots, but thanks to Nightmare's meddling the robots look like, respectively, the embodiment of Deadpools' two other head-voices and a bunch of Hercules' dead children.

Eventually, Deadpool figures out how to solve the problem: he lobotomizes himself by separating his left and right lobes, cutting off the other two voices (so he's now sane):



Herc turned down someone? (even someone who lured him into a deathtrap?)





I bet Cho is sorry he missed that.

In more serious terrain, over in iHerc it's time to face off with Hera (whose plan is, perhaps unsurprisingly, to kill all humans in the Fourth Extinction of Man). Though we still don't know how. Athena and Amadeus strike out with all the other outcast gods, who are fence-sitting until they see who comes out on top. However, Hebe's a big hit at the homeless shelter, and gets interviewed on the news, which sends Herc off to retrieve her. He stumbles across her while she's sucking face with Peter (who, amusingly parallels my earlier criticism about how his aunt now apparently thinks it's okay to set him up with homeless people), which leads to Peter getting punched through a wall or two, and a fight with Spider-Man. Despite his free-lovin' lifestyle, Herc's views on marriage are (understandably) pretty Ancient Greek.

Eventually, Herc buries Spidey under a bunch of cars, but Hebe intervenes and tearfully asks that he explain why she was such a bad wife that he ran away (and constantly steps out with other women). Herc says it was never about her.





Speaking to the whole issue, the writers do an amazing job with Hebe here. Imagine being the daughter of the Goddess of Marriage, having your marriage fail, and have mom tell you it's all your own fault (though that's an interesting belief when applied to Hera's own mindset, really).

Anyway, everybody's friends now, and back to dealing with the Hera question.



Final page: Spidey is here to help, along with Jessica and Logan.

See Amadeus, that's why you don't get invited to Tijuana.

What could Aunt May possibly think is going on there?

Comments

[foxhack.insanejournal.com]

That can't be Tijuana.

I mean, there's no drug lords or men in shades with guns. Not to mention Hercules would've been kidnapped on the spot for ransom the instant he set foot in town.

Yes, I don't like that hellhole very much, can you tell?

[damar148.insanejournal.com]

But he's got Deadpool with him. A drunk Deadpool. I'n sure those drug lords remember a sober Deadpool.

[thosefew.insanejournal.com]

Can Deadpool get drunk with his healing factor?

[lieut_kettch.insanejournal.com]

If he's anything like Logan, he can. He just needs lots of booze, and a steady stream of it, since he has to replace the alcohol in his blood faster than his healing factor can process it.

[sherkahn.insanejournal.com]

I was just there. I did see Wade and Herc in the wee hours, looking for the burro show.
The guy standing up with both hands outstretched, clapping at the new piñata? That's me.

I don't remember much else. Herc knows how to through a party.

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

Hercules. Kidnapped.

Even if Darwin hadn't gotten to them yet, it was probably on the same level of noteworthiness as them buying those bottles they're holding.

[digitalraven.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com)]

"For you, the day you attempted to kidnap Hercules was the most important—and painful—day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday."

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

Of course!!

[zegim.insanejournal.com]

YESSSSS!

[proteus_lives.insanejournal.com]

Kidnap Hercules?? Bad idea.

And I'd imagine everyone in the criminal underworld is aware of Deadpool and gives him a wide berth unless employing him.

[dorksidefiker.insanejournal.com]

Even THEN, I'd say the wisest of his employers keep him at a very careful distance.

[proteus_lives.insanejournal.com]

Yeah. I imagine employers treat mercs like Deadpool, Bullseye, Sabretooth, etc. as weapons of last resort or WMDs. Not because of their power-levels or skill-sets but because of their unpredictablity,

[manofbats.insanejournal.com]

The third on-going should have been a buddy comic with Herc and D.P.

[mullon.insanejournal.com]

It was nice of Arcade to stick up for us.

[freeman333.insanejournal.com]

I loled.

You win. Well played.

[cainofdreaming.insanejournal.com]

Who's Miss Locke's replacement? And does she know about Arcade's 'retirement package?'

Also, go Hebe!

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

In my head it's the REAL Miss Locke back from her long vacation, and none of that Arcade killing her nonsense stuck, it was an LMD or something.

[icon_uk.insanejournal.com]

Weird, considering someone posted Bloom County earlier today, that there's a very Berke Breatbed character-vibe to Deadpool in his sane voice there.

Oh, and may I be the first to say "HELL YEAH!! Miss Locke is back!!"

[stig.insanejournal.com]

Despite his free-lovin' lifestyle, Herc's views on marriage are (understandably) pretty Ancient Greek.

...He like young virgin men of 16-22 on the side?

[kenn_el.insanejournal.com]

That's not what Cho's for?

[dorksidefiker.insanejournal.com]

Beat me to it.

[(Anonymous)]

That explains Cho, and they're only virgins the first time :P

[kenn_el.insanejournal.com]

One would assume that Hera wouldn't get far with Hebe on the subject of marital fidelity, what with Zeus replacing Hebe as the gods' cocktail server with his own lover, Ganymede. Sadly, I doubt Marvel will go there.

[mugiwara.insanejournal.com]

Nightmare again? I wonder if that happens before or after the current ATI story...

[(Anonymous)]

He's also in Doctor Voodoo this month.

It's so weird, in ATI their making Nightmare coming to Earth a huge deal, but he keeps on doing it lately.

[(Anonymous)]

If anyone can, could someone please post either deadpool fighting his own quotation boxes (which sounds hilarious) or Herc walking in on Hebe and Peter and the broo ha ha that followed? I'd be forever thankful for one or both!

[janegray.insanejournal.com]

That explains why he ran away, not why he cheats on her.

[proteus_lives.insanejournal.com]

Hercules probably invented the "Hate the game, not the player baby." speech.

[jupiterrhode.insanejournal.com]

So, what, Herc can cheat but Hebe can't? That is so completely disgusting, especially considering the massive amounts of sex Herc's been having in this title alone.

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

He's not supposed to be right; both Hebe herself and Spider-Man point this out.

I'm actually interested in whether this is meant to signal a permanent shift, since it certainly seems like that (though in that case, Hebe had better watch out...'cause writers have been writing playa-Herc for forty years now, and largely ignored her existence in order to avoid this issue).

[magus_69.insanejournal.com]

I can only see three ways for this to end: the reconciliation sticks, they divorce, or Hebe meets a fridge.

I want to be wrong about this, I really truly do, but I fear we'll get the last one.

[stolisomancer.insanejournal.com]

You forgot the most obvious and sensible solution: endless threesomes.

[magus_69.insanejournal.com]

I didn't forget. I ruled it out beforehand precisely because it is obvious and sensible.

[(Anonymous)]

Yay! All for that one.

And I bet Herc is too

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

Was divorce an option for Ancient Greeks?

"Death" seems most likely to me, honestly; this is a big story, the final confrontation with Hera, and now Herc's trying to be a better husband. Really twist the knife.

[neuhallidae.insanejournal.com]

I will cry if Hebe goes. I've actually started to like her.

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

Yeah, me too. Of course, that would be what they're going for.

Actually

[(Anonymous)]

with the recent Cho-Athena twist I'm thinking we might have a Death of Hercules, rise of Cho thing for a little bit (Cho would obviously go to Hades for Herc- though I do wonder how a hypothetical death of Herc would turn Cho on Athena, I mean he's always been a quick to anger, totally over the top response thing and if he thinks Athena set the whole thing up :) )

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty hard to fridge a goddess...especially one who survived an I forget how far fall out of a skyscraper when Hera attacked her.

I don't think Hera would off her own daughter, blood(line) was a pretty big thing to the Greeks. Now maybe if Mikaboshi comes back she could get fridged...

[bluefall.insanejournal.com]

Regardless of whether the text shows him to be wrong, it seems OOC for him to hold the opinion at all. For one, that's merely one facet of a whole host of really gross gender biases that comprised ancient Greek views on women, none of the rest of which we ever see from him (and rightly so, the man's supposed to be a likable hero). It's just bizarre to try to reconcile him respecting the agency and personhood of every other woman he's ever met with him thinking he owns his wife. For another, he's just never been a particularly proud or possessive or jealous guy. He was sad when Namora rejected him, not angry or insulting of her virtue, and he considered it her decision rather than fighting Namor for her. In fact it was he who told off Namor to the effect that Namora has the right to sleep with who she pleases.

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

I wasn't entirely sure about either. Possibly what they're going for is he's got some latent traditionalism in him; it would make sense, though it is a bit hard to match up with his pretty equitable attitude toward his casual relationships.

[skalja]

I dunno. Keeping in mind that I'm a few months behind and haven't read these issues, so am speaking generally: how many of us know that person in real life who's a liberal member of the majority and holds all the enlightened views and even practices them for the most part, but then knee-jerkily reverts to type when confronted with the potential impact of those views on the most intimate parts of their personal life or their past? Heck, how many of us have been that person? Or both? It seems pretty realistic to me that Hercules could be relatively modern-thinking with Namora, who he's only known in the 21st century, but then have a traditionalist freakout with Hebe, whom he got married to thousands of years ago.

Amusingly, back in the 90s Herc had a team-up with Spidey and tried to convince him to party hard with Crete and Spidey wouldn't because he was married and a teetotaller. Careful what you wish for!

[okkult3000.insanejournal.com]

Welcome to ancient Greece. Women had to stay at home and couldn't leave without an escort; men went to "symposiums" featuring numerous hetaerae.

[bj_l.insanejournal.com]

Isn't this the second time Deadpool has taken someone to Tijuana? I'm sure he took Monty.

[dustbunny105.insanejournal.com]

No, he took Monty to Monte Carlo.

[bj_l.insanejournal.com]

Ah. Did they still do one of those drunk "photos" like he's doing with Hercules?

It's beena long while since I've read Deadpool.

[dustbunny105.insanejournal.com]

I don't think so, no. Deadpool nabs Monty as his weird way of thanking him for a psychic reading and to exploit Monty's abilities for gambling rather than to go out drinking. Monty does get sort of wasted at one point, but I believe Deadpool is sober when that happens.