Merc with a Myth

[colonel_green.insanejournal.com]

Four scans apiece from Assault on New Olympus Prologue and Deadpool Team-Up #899, featuring the Incredible Hercules.

In descending order of seriousness, we start off with the Deadpool issue, in which Deadpool and Herc get trapped inside a labyrinth by the villain team-up of Arcade (who wants to kill Deadpool for horning in on his assassin business) and Nightmare (who wants revenge on Hercules for the whole "God Squad" episode). They get attacked by a bunch of robots, but thanks to Nightmare's meddling the robots look like, respectively, the embodiment of Deadpools' two other head-voices and a bunch of Hercules' dead children.

Eventually, Deadpool figures out how to solve the problem: he lobotomizes himself by separating his left and right lobes, cutting off the other two voices (so he's now sane):



Herc turned down someone? (even someone who lured him into a deathtrap?)





I bet Cho is sorry he missed that.

In more serious terrain, over in iHerc it's time to face off with Hera (whose plan is, perhaps unsurprisingly, to kill all humans in the Fourth Extinction of Man). Though we still don't know how. Athena and Amadeus strike out with all the other outcast gods, who are fence-sitting until they see who comes out on top. However, Hebe's a big hit at the homeless shelter, and gets interviewed on the news, which sends Herc off to retrieve her. He stumbles across her while she's sucking face with Peter (who, amusingly parallels my earlier criticism about how his aunt now apparently thinks it's okay to set him up with homeless people), which leads to Peter getting punched through a wall or two, and a fight with Spider-Man. Despite his free-lovin' lifestyle, Herc's views on marriage are (understandably) pretty Ancient Greek.

Eventually, Herc buries Spidey under a bunch of cars, but Hebe intervenes and tearfully asks that he explain why she was such a bad wife that he ran away (and constantly steps out with other women). Herc says it was never about her.





Speaking to the whole issue, the writers do an amazing job with Hebe here. Imagine being the daughter of the Goddess of Marriage, having your marriage fail, and have mom tell you it's all your own fault (though that's an interesting belief when applied to Hera's own mindset, really).

Anyway, everybody's friends now, and back to dealing with the Hera question.



Final page: Spidey is here to help, along with Jessica and Logan.

See Amadeus, that's why you don't get invited to Tijuana.

What could Aunt May possibly think is going on there?

Comments

[foxhack.insanejournal.com]

That can't be Tijuana.

I mean, there's no drug lords or men in shades with guns. Not to mention Hercules would've been kidnapped on the spot for ransom the instant he set foot in town.

Yes, I don't like that hellhole very much, can you tell?

[damar148.insanejournal.com]

But he's got Deadpool with him. A drunk Deadpool. I'n sure those drug lords remember a sober Deadpool.

[thosefew.insanejournal.com]

Can Deadpool get drunk with his healing factor?

[lieut_kettch.insanejournal.com]

If he's anything like Logan, he can. He just needs lots of booze, and a steady stream of it, since he has to replace the alcohol in his blood faster than his healing factor can process it.

[sherkahn.insanejournal.com]

I was just there. I did see Wade and Herc in the wee hours, looking for the burro show.
The guy standing up with both hands outstretched, clapping at the new piñata? That's me.

I don't remember much else. Herc knows how to through a party.

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

Hercules. Kidnapped.

Even if Darwin hadn't gotten to them yet, it was probably on the same level of noteworthiness as them buying those bottles they're holding.

[digitalraven (from insanejournal.com)]

"For you, the day you attempted to kidnap Hercules was the most important—and painful—day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday."

[vignettelante.insanejournal.com]

Of course!!

[zegim.insanejournal.com]

YESSSSS!

[proteus_lives.insanejournal.com]

Kidnap Hercules?? Bad idea.

And I'd imagine everyone in the criminal underworld is aware of Deadpool and gives him a wide berth unless employing him.

[dorksidefiker.insanejournal.com]

Even THEN, I'd say the wisest of his employers keep him at a very careful distance.

[proteus_lives.insanejournal.com]

Yeah. I imagine employers treat mercs like Deadpool, Bullseye, Sabretooth, etc. as weapons of last resort or WMDs. Not because of their power-levels or skill-sets but because of their unpredictablity,