scans_daily | Homestuck: Puppet Snuff

Text in quotes are from the actual comic
Oh. Uh...

Hey...

Hey there, Cal.
So Dave Strider is one of the kids who are meant to save the universe from evil. But first he needs to find the BETA of the game that allows them to do said world saving. So he needs to find his Bro's copy somewhere in his house.

Uh...I think it's prudent to tell you Dave's bro has a....bit of a thing with puppets. This here is Lil Cal. His favorite. He's...cool..I guess?

"Oh. Uh...

Hey...

Hey there, Cal."

Dave decides to give Cal a nervous fist bump.

Then shit gets a little weird.

"You are sort of starting to flip the fuck out.

Without losing your cool of course."

Well Dave tries to leave his room except his bro put a message on his door. In comic form.

Dave decides to just get the fuck out of there and go to the kitchen. Oh there's something in the blender.

"You guess BRO stuck some FAKE BLOOD CAPSULES in that puppet? Pretty gross."

"You spot one of your BRO'S many WEBCAMS nearby, recording the incident.

It seems you may have just been an unwitting accessory to some sort of grisly puppet snuff film. You're not totally sure how you feel about that."

So Dave decides to try and open the microwave, It works as well as you'd expect.

"See, like, his hobbies are cool and all, and you guess he's got to put his shit SOMEWHERE. But what if you just wanted to heat up a burrito or something?

This kitchen is pretty much useless."

Uh...hey Cal.

So Dave goes to the fridge.

JESUS

So Dave's bro left him a message to open up the attic hatch. Okay.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

"Yeah, there was pretty much no way there wasn't going to be a bunch of puppets in there."

Dave decides to IM Rose, the friend he's getting the BETA for.

TT is Rose. TG is Dave

TG: ok wait hold on why am i getting this stupid game for you
TG: youre the one who should be wrist deep in puppet ass
TT: What is the specific problem?
TG: the problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking puppet dong
TT: You know you like the mannequin dick. Accept it.
TG: i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis
TG: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face
TT: Let's put this into perspective. You put up with the puppet prostate because you love it.
TT: Also, coarse is a good word.
TG: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock
TG: im whirling in the terrible cyclone at the epicenter of my own personal holocaust of twitching foam noses
TG: its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here
TG: like
TG: the proboscalypse i guess
TT: Are you going to start rapping about this?
TG: what no
TG: no listen
TT: Prong of flesh bereft of home
TT: Found solace 'twixt a cleft of foam.
TG: no oh jesus
TT: Of apocalypse your thoughts eclipse
TT: A painted pair of parted lips
TT: That dare through kiss to stir the air
TT: That teases tufts of orange hair.
TT: And though faces flush in lovers' fits,
TT: Hands snug in plush as gloves befit.
TG: ok dickinson if you can shut your perfumey trap for a half second
TG: this is serious
TG: i am just saying
TG: if i see one more soft bulbous bottom being like
TG: kind of jutting out and impudent or whatever
TG: im gonna fly off the handle
TG: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit
TT: Then let's hope there will be a squishy derriere somewhere below the handle to break your fall.

Fucking katanas man, how do they work?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's interesting to see how the art has improved here from the Problem Slueth era, but maintains a distinct style.

You can see by the end of PS how good it got. I mean, the entire final battle had some amazing art and you can see how big a difference it was from the early stuff.

Homestuck is just perfect though. Fuck man, when they get into that larger size style, you know shit just got real.

Homestuck: Puppet Snuff

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