NS Special Edition - Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker spoiler zone

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Now, under normal circumstances, we wouldn't make a post on a non-comics related topic, but this is a little different from the norm.

We've just seen the release of "Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker", the ostensible end of a nine movie series released over a period of FORTY TWO YEARS, and which irrevocably changed the face of sci-fi fandom from 1977 to date, for good or illh

I have very fond memories of going to see the first movie with my father not long after it first came out in the UK. I won't share my opinions on the last one in here, I'll save that for the comments.

So be warned, the comments here will be spoiler filled, so if you want to remain pristine and unspoiled before seeing the movie, then DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS!

Please also note that this is the ONLY place that SW IX spoilers should be discussed, as a courtesy to other posters.

Warned you have been! Listen you should! Fun have!

Comments

[beyondthefringe]

This was by far my least favorite Disney movie of 2019 where a black supporting character teleports in at the literal last moment with an army of reinforcements. Probably because Lando didn't say "On your left."

I also want to know who built and crewed that immense fleet of Star Destroyers... given that the only way to find the planet they were buried on was to find one of a handful of mystic GPS widgets buried in random places like Darth Vader's old castle and the Emperor's old masturbation chamber... so either millions of people -could- find the planet, or they all followed a leader and no one ever noticed the expenditure of resources it takes to create a fleet of 1.5 mile long ships capable of vaporizing entire planets...

The fake-out death of Chewie pissed me off because A) it would have been a chump way to die for a character who needed an entire MOON to kill him in the books and B) it was undone almost immediately.

Rose Tico got less screen time than a cone-head droid voiced by J.J. Abrams himself, which, presumably, existed only to sell merchandise. She also got less screen time than Felicity in a full helmet, proving that Keri Russell's eyes are obviously less scary than an unmasked Asian woman. Rose deserved more of a story. And better treatment.

Poe and Finn shoulda kissed. Instead of both getting female love interests so that Disney could loudly and boldly state "no homo" even as the entire audience, and the actors themselves are like "Nah, these two love each other."

The Knights of Ren were a waste of a good idea, and went down like random chumps.

I facepalmed at Rey being the Emperor's granddaughter. I always hoped that her parents were Jyn and Cassian, somehow miraculously survived after the end of Rogue One.

The entire subplot regarding C3PO was ridiculous.
"I can translate the language so you can find the magical GPS thingie... but it'll wipe my memory and I'll basically die."
"Don't you have backups?"
"Nope."
"Oh well, no other way. Someone crack him open and let's override this sucker."
"..."
"Anyone got a crowbar?"
" I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

And then, of course, R2 uploads his backup memory like it's no big, thus proving that he's more on top of this shit than everyone else...

This movie was a big, goofy, clunky, messy, spectacle. Visually gorgeous, narratively all over the place.

[mazway_75]

I heard test screenings had some major character deaths (including the Falcon destroyed) but audience hated it so dropped.

Here's a secret: For all their talk on wanting something fresh, a lot of Star Wars fans hate actual change.

[lego_joker]

Are you a True Fan (of anything) if you don't? :P

[janegray]

Why must change always be character death? Why can't change ever be "the characters finally get the happy ending they richly deserve?"

[arilou_skiff]

The thing is, I didn't even find the visuals that great. TLJ, for all it's issues had some absolutely gorgeous visuals, and Rise had nothing that really compared.

[deepspaceartist]

I also want to know who built and crewed that immense fleet of Star Destroyers... given that the only way to find the planet they were buried on was to find one of a handful of mystic GPS widgets buried in random places like Darth Vader's old castle and the Emperor's old masturbation chamber... so either millions of people -could- find the planet, or they all followed a leader and no one ever noticed the expenditure of resources it takes to create a fleet of 1.5 mile long ships capable of vaporizing entire planets...

My favourite theory I've heard for this? It's all Snoke clones. Millions of Snokes in their goofy bathrobes running the Star Destroyers.

[tripodeca113]

"I also want to know who built and crewed that immense fleet of Star Destroyers.."

According to the Visual Dictionary, throughout the galaxy many high ranking people in weapons and ship manufacturing, have secretly been members of a secret cult, dedicated to allowing the Sith to rule the galaxy again. Over the course of decades they built this fleet, and then flew them out to Exogol and buried them in the ground, I guess.

I knew there wasn't going to be a satisfying explanation, but man that's terrible.