The Hulk vs Bullseye

[cyberghostface]

Don't know the source, sorry.

char: hulk/bruce banner, char: bullseye/hawkeye

Comments

[punishermax]

~a small child lays in bed, his eyes go to his window as a rumble shakes his home~

"Mommy....."

~fear takes hold of him as the shaking gets stronger and stronger

~he pulls his sheet over his head as the rumble shakes the home to it's very foundation~

~a terrifying crash shocks the boy out of bed as a large green monster stares at him. the room is filled with the smell of rotting carrion as the monster breaths in and out with a nightmarish grunt. He stares with horrible yellow eyes at the boy, who sits terrified in bed~

~the monster moves closer and closer until his mouth is near the boy's ear. The boy shakes in fear~

"......brush your teeth before bed."

~the monster smashes out the way he came.~

[shadowpsykie]

they need to make this.... like now.....

[big_daddy_d]

That would make one hell of a PSA.

[punishermax]

~An woman stands in a kitchen with a frying pan and an egg~

~holds egg up~

"This is your brain"

~holds pan up~

"This is drugs"

~readys pan~

"THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS!"

~Before she can slam the pan down, the wall explodes behind her, a wild eyes green monster smashes his way in~

~ he looks around wildly~

"HULK ON COOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCAAAAAINNNNEEEE! HULK DO ANYTHING FOR ANOTHER HIT!"

~he picks up the terrified woman~

"HULK NEED ANOTHER HIT MAN! HULK SUCK YOUR~abrutly cuts off~

~Hulk is now sitting in a plush chair with reading glasses on~

"HULK KNOW WE HAVE LOT OF FUN TONIGHT. BUT WHAT NOT FUN IS DRUGS. TELL YOUR KIDS THAT DRRUGS ARE BAD. ASK KIDS ABOUT WHIPPETS, COCAINE, ANGEL DUST, ECSTASY, CRYSTAL METH AND GETTING YOUR DEGREE."

~Hulk stands up and points to audience~

"NOW YOU KNOW. AND KNOWING HALF BATTLE!"

[crinos]

Someone needs to draw this. I would pay to see this drawn (not really, but still).

[big_daddy_d]

Do an Old Spice Hulk commercial.

[punishermax]

~Hulks steps out of the shower~

"HULK SAYS HELLO TO LADIES. LOOK AT MAN. NOW LOOK AT HULK. BACK TO MAN. NOW BACK TO HULK. HULK SAD TO TELL LADY THAT PUNY MAN NOT HULK. BUT MAN COULD BE LIKE HULK IS MAN STOP USING LADY SOAP. MAN COULD SMELL LIKE HULK IF MAN USE OLD SPICE BATH SMELL SOAP THING."

~backdrop lifts up revealing a dirty apartment~

"LOOK DOWN.NOW LOOK UP. WHERE YOU? YOU IN HULK'S APARTMENT. HULK KINDA LIVING OUT OF BOXES. HULK HOPE YOU NOT MIND MESS. LOOK AT HAND. NOW LOOK AT ME. IT IN HULK'S HAND. IT OYSTER WITH TWO TICKETS TO JUSTIN BIEBER. HULK SAVE UP FOR THEM. HULK NEED SECOND PERSON. HULK LOOKING AT YOU. LOOK NOW. TICKETS TURN TO TACOS, HULK NOT WANT TACOS. HULK WANTS JUSTIN BIEBER. HULK HATE COMMERCIAL. HULT HATE OLD SPICE!"

[former_callixte]

okay, both of your commercial ideas posted here are priceless. I...I wish I had money to give you a studio to film them. Even action figure/paper doll re-enactments would be awesome. And I wish i had money to give to you to write more ideas.

Thank you for making my day.

[benicio127]

OMFG!!!!!!!

Why aren't you writing comics? I would read the hell out of these ideas.

[proteus_lives]

I work for the Census.

I want Hulk to do a PSA for that! ;)

[punishermax]

~A census worker stands at a door and knocks~

~the door opens~

"Yeah? ~drinks a beer, burps~

"Excuse me sir! I have a few questions for the census!"

~the man drops his beer, he leans closer and closer to the frightened man's face. Closer and Closer, Pabst and chew swirl in his breath as he moves until he is face to face to the young man~

~whisper~ "Go fuck yourself."

~door slams shut~

"Oh gosh darn ~kicks dirt~

~Suddenly the Hulk appears! He looks at the census worker~

"WHY LITTLE MAN ANGRY. HULK KNOW ANGER IT KINDA HULK'S THING"

"The jerk in that house won't answer my questions!"

~Hulks eyes go red and he smashes the house and rips the man out of it's charred ruins~

"ANSWER MAN'S QUESTIONS. NOT BE RUDE OR HULK TAKE YOU TO WOODSHED. HULK NOT FUCK AROUND. HULK FIND OUT LAW AND ORDER CANCELED, MAKE HULK'S DAY."

"But...w-w-w-what?"

"HULK WANT LITTLE MAN SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME. HULK DARE YOU. HULK DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

~screen goes black~

~Hulk is sitting in a leather reading chair again with glasses~

"NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU NOT ANSWER CENSUS. OBAMA SEND HULK OUT TO BEAT ASSES OF THOSE WHO NOT ANSWER CENSUS. CENSUS HELP PUNY HUMANS. CENSUS MAKE PARKS AND OTHER FACILITIES EXIST. LIKE CICI'S PIZZA. HULK LIKE PIZZA. BUT HULK DIGRESSES"

"ANSWER CENSUS, OR HULK MAKE SURE RED HULK COMES AND DOES DUMB THINGS. DON'T THINK HULK NOT DO THAT. RED HULK LIKE HULK MINION. HULK SAY JUMP RED HULK SAY A BUNCH OF STUPID SHIT. HULK NOT KNOW."

"SO GIVE A HOOT. DON'T BE A PRICK"

[fifthie]

"RED HULK LIKE HULK MINION. HULK SAY JUMP RED HULK SAY A BUNCH OF STUPID SHIT. "

Holy lol

[cricharddavies]

Its from Marvel Adventures: Avengers.

[kirke_novak]

Yup, that issue where the Avengers agree to catch supervillains that don't pay taxes, because they, themselves, forgot to pay.

[glimmung]

My assiduous lurking here allows me to identify the source as Marvel Adventures. Not sure which issue.

[ravenous_raven]

Do you mean "insidious"? Or was that just a Freudian slip?

[glimmung]

Assiduous means constant or diligent.

Also you have a dirty mind.

[ravenous_raven]

Learn something new everyday.

As to the first comment, I'm here, aren't I? I'm going to be corrupted if I wasn't already.

[crabby_lioness]

Was that Marvel Adventures?

[halloweenjack]

Could be Marvel Adventures!

[shadowpsykie]

....
......
........
...........

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[darkknightjrk]

I would now like to pitch to Marvel Incredible Hulk: Agent of I.R.S.

[foxhack]

That lower-left panel?

Posted alone?

Would've been priceless.

[sir_razorback]

Don't say that too loud... The infamous Hulk megapost is still lurking out there... somewhere.

[torberg]

"WHAT HULK DO IN VEGAS STAY IN VEGAS."

[stig]

'Course, this being a kid's comic, you have to assume that the cop has a phobia of playing cards and being cut. Or is a haemophiliac.

[darkblade]

This being Bullseye a playing card is still a valid weapon. The man fought Venom with corndogs and a yap dog.

[stig]

My joke was contingent upon the fact that violence and gore are toned down in a kid's comic. I'm aware that cards are practically his trademark weapon. It's just, he wouldn't be allowed to kill someone with them in Adventures.

[tacobob]

Has Deadpool shown up in MA yet?

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

Has to be Marvel Adventures. It's cute, well-drawn, and funny.

[v_various]

haha, I just read this yesterday.
<3 avengers adventures.

[proteus_lives]

This will alway be awesome.

MA-4-LIFE!

[miramira]

Oh, if only Hulk had been around in the days of Al Capone. So much crime would have been aver...no, wait. Not quite sure that works out.

[aaron_bourque]

Don't know the source, sorry.

It's from one of the Marvel Adventures comics, I think an early-middlish Avengers issue. Spider-man and Iron Man show up, but it's neither of their comics.