Attack of the Ultimate 50ft MILF.

[stubbleupdate]

Authors from Robert Louis Stevenson to Chuck Palahniuk have dealt with the internal duality and struggle for mastery of the whole within a person. For me, that struggle came to a head when the part of me that wants to read the whole run of Ultimate Fantastic Four defeated the part of me that has tried three times to pick up the Millar/Land run on UFF.

On the whole, it's a terrible, huvenile and ugly run. It will surprise nobody that Land's art is terrible, with inconsistencies between character models, characters whose face doesn't fit on their heads and a lot of people shouting, either in frustration or surprise with the patented Cock goes where?" face.

The writing isn't much cop either, with a lot of daft ideas (and some good ones, like the Super Skrull's journey through time)

The one that caught my eye was in the stupid Namor story, where Reed Richards and Namor fight in New York".

Namor's being petulant and wants to destroy all surface dwellers, etc, Reed turns up in a giant robot suit that has the powers of each of the Fantastic Four and also a "helmet that makes my thoughts into three dimensional constructs, mister... All I have to do is think of something and it'll appear out of nowhere and beat you up."

So he thinks of this



Yes, that's Sue and Johnny's mum, back from the apparently dead but actually faked her death so that she could work on uncovering Atlantis for the princely sum of $1m (and that was when $1m was a lot of money)



A pre-emptive warning that LAAAAND is old hat.

Comments

[punishermax]

Hey Everyone!

Time for the new sensation (lol) sweeping the nation!

Copying characters from porn!

Need an image of Sue Storm looking shocked? No problem! Trace an actress from "Great Gulping Gals" and you're almost there! Just need some coloring and we're on our way to half price drinks at Applebees!

Need a drawing of a MILF in her underwear pointing at the viewer? Beckoning them to spend money on less than stellar writing in order to gain jack off fodder? Shit son, the internet is a wonderland of images of that nature!

Tracing from porn! It makes life easier! And less creative!

[stubbleupdate]

I would make more of the horrible art, but you don't win any prizes for pointing out how horribly ill suited Greg Land work is for being looked at by the human eye.

[geoffsebesta]

What do we get for saying she looks like Sarah Palin?

[fifthie]

You get told that every attractive brunette woman who wears glasses is not actually Sarah Palin and everyone's gotten tired of being told that they are.

[geoffsebesta]

Earthlings all look the same to me anyway.

[cainofdreaming]

So that's why it looks like something is pushing against the inside of her cheek in the second picture.

[kamino_neko]

That one's traced from a drawing reference book. He went a little too far on the referencing.

[cainofdreaming]

No, no... you're supposed to answer with a "...goes where?" line. My immaturity is so wasted around here.

You know, I can't help but to notice that Land's Dracula looks a lot like every other artists' Morbius. Well, not exactly since most other artists can draw without copy/paste. But still, different white guy with teeth problems.

[his_spiffynesss]

Actually I own that reference book, it's darn useful really, and I now started noticing anytime those images turn up in comics.

[darklorelei]

What did you do, Ray?!

[thehefner]

I reeeeeeeally don't wanna know what "just popped in there."

[autumn_lily]

And now I'm picturing 1610 Sue's mom doing the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man - that's a lot kids.

[nezchan]

You know the part that freaks me out? Her eyes and mouth were clearly traced referenced from two different images. Probably the one he got the face from didn't have the open mouth he needed for dialogue, but it's a strangely creepy result when you look closely at it.

[kamino_neko]

Wait...if that's not Johnny, who is that at the extreme left of the image? (I totally read this story, but remember almost nothing, save the most basic plot and an image of Namor flying...)

Though when Dr Storm mentioned Johnny, that made Left Dude's expression far less disturbing.

[stubbleupdate]

That's just Some Guy from the Baxter building.

[kamino_neko]

Totally looks like Johnny did at the time.

But that's Land for you, I guess...

[stubbleupdate]

No, Johnny had his trademark curly hair.

[xammax]

Sexual fantasies about your girlfriends hot mom: APPROVED

Using those fantasies to fight the beach jerk moving in on your girl: APPROVED

Doing this in public so she finds out: DENIED

ABORT ABORT ABORT

[shanejayell]

*facepalm*

Just... wow that is bad.

[stig]

Neck goes where?

[darklorelei]

Her head is not-so pasted on.

[seriousfic]

Sue's mom is Bayonetta?

[autumn_lily]

Is it weird that I think she looks closer to Sarah Palin?

[geoffsebesta]

ha, me too.

[thanekos]

so long as it's not kayo satoh, it's all good

[falseaesop]

That's going to make for an awkard thanksgiving dinnr conversation.

[autohobbs]

You would think that alone would stop Sue from going any further with Reed. Then again it does openly say it's from his subconscious, which then makes me ask why is his subconscious announcing itself?

[autumn_lily]

I have a copy of Freud somewhere around here that could probably answer that question...

[autohobbs]

I imagine Freud would have more to say if he conjured up his own mother in her unmentionables...oh god the very thought.

[autumn_lily]

Well, Sue's mom could be associated with his own mother due to maternal figures who have a similar disinterest in their children. He's only picturing Sue's mother over his own in order to reconcile the moral objections of thinking of your mom that way from his Superego with his Id's desire to have that connection.

[autumn_lily]

Freud's theory states that the Id and the Superego act in direct opposition to each other - the Ego is kind of the mutual go between to help create a balance. Oedipal theory in particular recounts that all boys during the phallic stage will undergo the sexual desire for their mother but sublimate it to avoid Castration Anxiety and the development of morals/ethics. So, since Reed naturally suppressed the sexual urges towards his mother - these urges would still be located in his subconscious, however, due to the Ego's ability to alter the true intentions of both the Id and the Superego (in protection of itself and the individual as a whole), it would then be morphed into a desire for a likewise figure that would be more socially acceptable.

[autohobbs]

But defense mechanisms are only conscious deep. It's like a wall, although it is rooted in the subconscious it only protects the area above, the conscious, and not the area below. Because it is in fact the ego, on a subconscious level, creating it to defend the conscious mind and prevent anxieties. For that image to be a replacement of his own mother, his subconscious mind would in essence have to be fooled by a defense mechanism it created. It would require a pathological defense mechanism, one so powerful it is warping reality on not just a conscious level, but a subconscious level as well.

Then again, we are dealing with Reed Richards, it is possible that the ego took notice of the devise, maybe, and then rooted the defense mechanism deeper just in case his oedipal complex came out as a result. That would require near sentient level thinking on the ego's part, which would then insinuate that Reed himself was taking part, or that Reed has a split personality. I find it more likely that Reed was openly thinking of Sue's mom and simply had it announce itself as the subconscious in hopes of diminishing the aftereffects of such daydreaming. Let's face it, that Reed Richards is a little snot.

[autumn_lily]

Except that I doubt Reed would consciously be thinking about Sue's mother in her underwear during a crisis, especially while connected to a machine he created to form constructs out of whatever he thinks of and in front of pretty much every important person in his life. That's the type of carelessness that Johnny would do (not of his own mother mind you, but just suddenly picturing an attractive woman in her skivvies at an inappropriate time).

[autohobbs]

That would imply his ego is suppressing even in his own subconscious which is a bit redundant when you think about it(Yeah defense mechanisms are unknown mechanisms created on a almost subconscious level, but they never go deep enough to fool the subconscious, as the subconscious is where the true desires of the mind reside). Not to mention the Id and the Super-ego can never really work against each other but only act as influences on the ego, which as we all know is where conscious reality resides. Thus, this being a image from his subconscious mind as it so clearly states (unless Reed is simply having it say that as a ruse) it would have to be the unhampered thought that has yet to pass any type of reality check by the ego itself.

[selke]

He actually had a reason to copy from porn!

[ulf_boehnke]

It's nice to see an author writing for the artist's strong point.

[tacobob]

Ah! That head doesn't even look it's on that body! Bad!

[nezchan]

Given how far away her shoulders are, it's probably just as well. Unless Reed has a giraffe fetish or something.

Also, her right thigh appears to be as long as her torso.

[tacobob]

Ugh. That's why I can never stand this artist..All his women have the same faces..Same open mouth smiles...Bleh. They need to take his dirty magazines away and stop with the tracing! >:P

[fifthie]

I vaguely remember the couple of issues about the alternate universe where Ben is the only non-superpowered person in the world being good and kind of touching and relatively non-Millarey.

I'd go back and reread it or something but I'd hate to find out that I was wrong.

[pyrotwilight]

President Thor was an awesome arc.

[geoffsebesta]

I enjoy how far her head is from the rest of her body, and wondering where the other leg went.

[thandrak]

It's a fifty foot woman in a five foot dress... o/`

[his_spiffynesss]

At least Reed's subconscious didn't interpret that "quit imagining me in my underwear" command as reason to take it all off.

So we can add size fetishist to the numerous kinks of Reed Richards?

[lonewolf23k]

And -that-'s how Land got out of having to draw a giant robot fight!

Seriously, if you can't manage drawing giant robots in battle amongst other things, what the -bleep- are you doing in the superhero comic book market? Even Rob Liefeld can (barely) manage drawing robots!

Greg Land can't even compare with Rob Liefeld. That's just pathetic.