If you can't get laid in the Sengoku Jidai, you're not trying.

[dejadrew.insanejournal.com]

Testing out the new InsaneJournal account to see if I can get the hang of it, and I figured, my first post on the old Scans Daily was Ninja Turtles, so why not make my first post in this community Ninja Turtles too? Because what was true then is true now: The world needs more Ninja Turtles.

This is from issue 3 of the Leonardo: Blind Sight miniseries. Leo was poisoned in an attack, and now he's blind. But according to all the tests, his eyes are fine now, so Splinter figures that the blindness might be psychosomatic. To get Leo's vision back, Splinter prescribes a vision quest, and after drinking some of sensei's 'special' tea...



Whoaaa, man. Far out. Heeheehee... wait, whut? Was I talking about something?

Anyway, after the cosmos quits swirling, Leo finds himself in feudal Japan...



(Damn, that is some gooood tea.)

...Where he is the sole samurai protector of a small village, whose occupants know and love him as their guardian turtle spirit. And a few of them apparently love him as more than that...






Okay, I've just gotta ask. Is what happened right before that last panel... what I think just happened? And if so, well.... Good God, how? HOW? The guy has a cloaca!

Comments

[skywaterblue.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com)]

Life... finds a way.

[chipolata.insanejournal.com]

That is fantastic. I need to get my hands on that miniseries.

I think skywaterblue has said all I intended to say about the last panel.

[leikomgwtfbbq.insanejournal.com]

How? Rule 34, that's how.

Rule 34 always finds a way.

[galateus.insanejournal.com]

Well that was one series where I never thought the interspecies shipping could even be *argued* to be canon...

They have to animate an episode like this. There need to be more they're-totally-not-on-drugs-what-are-you-talking-about-mom-and-dad moments on kids' TV.

[blunderbuss.insanejournal.com]

I don't think so. At the very least, Leo would be too weirded out to have sex with a human chick. I reckon his 'daughter' is either his wife's from a previous marriage or adopted, and they've just gone to sleep.

I'm a killjoy, I know. :D

[raisedbymoogles.insanejournal.com]

You're right. The world does need more Ninja Turtles.

Especially Ninja Turtles gettin' some.

[foxhack.insanejournal.com]

The guy has a cloaca!

Not according to some... pictures...

[chaoswolf1982.livejournal.com (from insanejournal.com)]

I was usually too busy ogling April in those sort of pictures to notice or care about turtle dongs.

[ladypyro.insanejournal.com]

Ninja Turtles? In Feudal Japan? Brilliant! They should make a movie based on that!
....
Wait a sec...

[fuzzybluelogic.insanejournal.com]

Googling "cloaca" led me to the greatest sentence ever written (because I've had two hours of sleep)

"At night many of these species emerge from the anus of the sea cucumber in search of food."

[sir_razorback.insanejournal.com]

You just made me spit all over my cat, I'm laughing so hard. Why, I'm not sure, that statement's not supposed to be funny damnit.

[sir_razorback.insanejournal.com]

Because one messed-up Google deserves another...

http://i.gizmodo.com/5145287/cloaca-no5-is-a-monster-pooping-machine

[fuzzybluelogic.insanejournal.com]

"suitable for framing"

SUITABLE. FOR. FRAMING.

Civilization = over.

*saves game*

[zegim.insanejournal.com]

A machine that makes turds!

The pinnacle of human mind.

[zegim.insanejournal.com]

Leo looks fine with his samurai armor :D

[knastymike.insanejournal.com]

So when does he team up with Usagi Yojimbo?

[(Anonymous)]

Well, Usagi Yojimbo did show up a few times in the cartoon...

[dejadrew.insanejournal.com]

And in the comics, two. They actually crossed over multiple times, in the Ninja Turtles comics and in the pages of Usagi Yojimbo.

[hikkichan.insanejournal.com]

Wow, I didn't know a show who's premise is that a bunch of baby turtles mutated into ninja's could be so...awesome.

...I was just a tot when my brother was obsessed with it so you can't blame me for that much I suppose. (infact one of the few things I remember watching were gargoyles, where I'd run around in circles with my little security blanket as my wings, and x-men, cops, and red and stimpy with my dad)

[hikkichan.insanejournal.com]

PS:
this is sakurakon from LJ

[dejadrew.insanejournal.com]

Heh, Ninja Turtles was a comic before it was a TV show, and they watered it down quite a bit for the Saturday morning audience.

The original comic was and is a glorious mix of about equal parts crack (And now let's do The Fugitive! Only instead of Dr. Kimble, let's have a MAD SCIENTIST who accidentally turned himself into a ROBOT! And instead of Lieutenant Gerard, we'll have ALIEN TRICERATOPS! In SPACE!!!) and hardcore badassery (And now we shall dedicate an entire issue to Leonardo beating the shit out of a jillion ninja! No, lets make it an even zillion!).

The old comics are gradually being archived here, (http://www.ninjaturtles.com/html/comic.htm) if you're interested.

[hikkichan.insanejournal.com]

....*___*
I'll have to read that now
(you had me hooked on "ALIEN TRICERATOPS! In SPACE!!!")

[(Anonymous)]

Real-life turtles would have a much harder time getting their cloacae lined up than do lizards or birds, if not for some evolutionary re-routing that made the tail into a serviceable pseudo-donger

http://blogs.pitch.com/plog/the_more_you_know2.jpg