Inappropriate comic book covers

[sherkahn]

It's been a rough weekend, and so in order to brings some chuckles, raise some eyebrows and make some people hot under the collar, some covers to comics of yesteryear that appear to be not-so-innocent, courtesy of Maxim magazine.




Captain Cold sold the pics to the tabloids and made a TON of money.


Sooo....


Bondage? Rainbows? Muscles? Promises of fantasies fulfilled?


"When the Lilliputians had found Cap, his penis had been so traumatized that it went back into his body cavity, and he passed out from the pain. So they took him to the Maw, where the resident healer would have to ..."


The next panel shows the results of what happened with the angered lad, the viciously sharp knife and the prankster.


World's Finest....oh so fine....


That will always get your undivided attention, allowing Batman to walk up and land a haymaker....

More on their link.

Comments

[auggie18]

Got to say, I would totally read a book where a rainbow powered gay hippy seduces the Hulk.

[liara_shadowsong]

...Yeah, so would I.

[greenmask]

I think that we all would.

[darkknightjrk]

If not at least for the WTFery.

[zenbro]

Screw that, I want rainbow bondage powers. Double rainbow.

[sherkahn]

Forget the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak.

Rainbow Streams of Fahb-u-Los!
Double rainbow all the way!

[zenbro]

Double rainbow all the way, stun my foe with beams of gay!

[auggie18]

They would come in handy in variety of different social situations...

[drmcninja]

I have seen this collection somewhere before... I think I had it bookmarked...

And it is just as funny and ridiculous now as it was then. Wertham would have had a field day with all of these. I love it!

[auggie18]

Superdickery, I'd wager.

[drmcninja]

Ah, the (second) greatest site on the internet till it stopped updating. I miss it so.

[aaron_bourque]

These are all appropriate comic book covers!

. . . for Scans_Daily!

[kamino_neko]

I love that you let the Tarzan cover speak for itself.

That look so did not need explanation or snark...

[schmevil]

MTE

[keeva]

So is that Hulk cover legal for posting here? It's from a Peter David issue.

[rainspirit]

So many of these came from Superdickery. Still am part of the message board there. I miss the days when it still updated. ;-;

[shadowpsykie]

i only see Red X's :(

[kenn_el]

Maybe it's too much Charlie Sheen in the media, but when I saw 'The Winning Team' on the World's Finest cover it occurred to me that they really could be Two and a Half Men.
Also, wishing for a Rainbow Hulk series!

[autumn_lily]

I'm not really all that shocked (or surprised) about that World's Finest cover. Really, for me the surprising thing is that no one's found a cover with Batman holding Robin by the throat and groin titled: World's Finest - best in Show!

[junipepper]

Was attempting to swallow a pill as I scrolled down, and when I hit that last one -- Ow, freakin' ow, man...

[proteus_lives]

Man, Tarzan really misses Jane.

[kamino_neko]

Are you kidding? He couldn't wait for her to leave so him and Cheetah could have some alone time. >_>

[mad]

That second one had me laughing so hard. Oh my god.

[mistervader]

In "Gay Comics," was that Jughead, or some rip-off?

[kamino_neko]

Ripoff. From what I can tell, Gay Comics was a Timely publication. It certainly wasn't MLJ, either way.

[omnipotent]

I lost it at the Hulk one. Oh God.

[psychopathicus_rex]

You know, I understand why MOST of these are giggle-worthy, but there are two that I don't... really... get. They're both Archie covers - one's the one where Archie's buying a frisbee, and the other's the one where the girls are flipping out over Jughead's cooking. Maybe it's just me, but I can't see anything inappropriate about either of them. Thoughts?

[zenbro]

You might want to check out the urban dictionary for a definition of "pearl necklace". In the Jughead one, "Eat Out" is the key phrase here.

[psychopathicus_rex]

...Oh. That's a tad obscure, isn't it?
Just who comes up with these things, anyway? I mean, are the entries on 'Urban Dictionary' actual phrases bandied about on the streets, or does whoever run the site just make them up? I never seem to hear about them until after they've appeared in 'Urban Dictionary'.

[kamino_neko]

...Oh. That's a tad obscure, isn't it?

Not really...neither of those phrases is exactly further underground than any other sexual slang.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Maybe I'M underground, then. I haven't seen the sun much lately, come to think of it - I THOUGHT it was because it was overcast, but...

[zenbro]

It's probably obscure unless you're blessed or cursed with immature males as friends, who will gleefully educate you on terms like "snowballing" and "A2M."

[psychopathicus_rex]

Well, thankfully I'm NOT, so yeah, that would explain it.

[wizardru]

"Pearl Necklace" isn't that obscure, IMHO. I mean, if you've been the subject of a ZZ Top song and jokes in movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Half-Baked, I'd argue you're not unknown. Compare that with 'snowballing' as mentioned in 'Clerks', for example.

[psychopathicus_rex]

Well, I don't listen to ZZ Top and I haven't seen either of those movies - so I guess the problem is ME, then.

[whitesycamore]

Well no, it's not that obscure, but I'm still with you on this one. Sometimes a pearl necklace is just a pearl necklace, and the phrase seems particularly innocent in the context of "what are you getting Betty for her birthday? 'Cause she though you were buying her pearl necklace." OH, OK THEN. I mean, I'm not really sure why that exchange should conjure up a mental image of Archie jizzing over Betty's clavicles either.

[zenbro]

Except Betty doesn't say buying, but "She's expecting a pearl necklace."

Cut to a confused Veronica, as Archie solemnly unzips his pants on date night.

Yes, lowbrow college humor...

[psychopathicus_rex]

Yeah, exactly - there's 'dirty minds', and then there's 'searching desperately for something to dirty your mind with'. I mean, that comic was published decades before the term was ever created, and it's OBVIOUS what it MEANS - it means an actual pearl necklace. I don't WANT a mental picture of Archie giving her the... other sort of pearl necklace, thank you very much. It makes me feel all icky inside.

[thanekos]

now see, if Glorian there had done more of that, maybe he wouldn't have come to the fate he did in Annihilation

poor, stupid bastard

[tilly_stratford.livejournal.com]

Tarzan's expression will haunt me in my dreams.