An Authority Profile: Diamond in the Rough (and thoughts on the post-modern Dark Age)

[glprime]

Been picking through the complete run of Authority recently, and I'm currently at the execrable Transfer of Power arc, which is basically Tom Peyer and Mark Millar reminding us that 90% of people are not just apathetic towards the suffering of others, but outright sadists who enjoy causing severe physical and emotional trauma to others.

Oh goody.

I was surprised, however, when I came across one of the best one-off characters I've ever seen, especially coming from Wildstorm's The Authority (not that there aren't times the Authority are fun themselves).


So previously, the Authority had done a lot of kicking over war criminal dictators, and thumbing their noses at the establishment of the G7 leadership (and their filthy-rich, black cabinet of evil backers muhahahaha etc.)

In return, they sic government-funded posthuman Seth on them (who is definitely the worst attempt at Southern stereotype I have ever seen, and I've read Preacher), and then make up all kinds of over-the-top torturous conditions to stick the Authority in, just because they can.

In the meantime, the Shadowy Council of Government/Industry Heads insert their own version of the Authority, engineered like a pop music group and at their beck and call. New team leader the Colonel decides to recruit a team chaplain to give the group a bigger "Faith" image.





Huh. Well, a little heavy on the pomp, but he knows his scripture (though Peyer writing "ah-men" is just silly). Still, why would they need this specific guy over an ordinary-



WOW.



A little stereotyped, but I noticed he never says "I think you're gay and I'm looking to convert you away from evil," so who knows? You're just supposed to project your own experience with clergy onto this conversation.

In the next issue, the Colonel is dealing with a bit of self-loathing and outright panic because his blithe direction led to a major mistake that could cost him his new position, if not his life (when cleaning the Carrier of refugees, he had them all tossed into another dimension, where they were able to "wish away" the wealth, health, happiness and general "greatness" of the top 1%... yeah, I wish this could be explained).





Heh.

I'll bet C.A. has invulnerability as one of his powers, but I like his quip.





I may be alone here, but the no-nonsense SERIOUSNESS of this character makes him the most amusing Christian-themed superhero I've seen since Battle Pope. In my neck of the Bible Belt, I've known the Phony Christians, the Bad Christians, and even some Genuine Good Christians. This guy seems like the latter type, talking the talk AND walking the walk and meaning every word he says. It's so puzzling and yet so satisfying that this guy was part of such a lowbrow, crude and downright mean part of the series.

(I also get that there's a lot of Orthodox trappings to this character, but he seems to have more soft edges than you'd usually see.)

And just so everyone can remember how bad this storyline was (and give an example of the larger issues I'm talking about):



"Helping people? LOL. Everyone in government is ebil."

Why am I posting this?

Well, as I've been reading this dreck, I keep seeing places in my own work where I've wanted to write in a very cynical tone and just "FIRE DEATH LYING BASTARDS APOCALYPSE." But then I take a step back, read what I've written over again, and realize I'm in my mid-twenties and it's time I started contributing something with my work, rather than scream negative rants all the time (in my writing; in real life I shall continue to do this as the Spirit of Lewis Black bids me to).

I get more and more aggravated reading this and other works by Millar (and some other writers in separate mediums), where everything is just dark and mocking for no discernible reason. I mean, if I'm going to be writing about how terrible man can be, shouldn't I level it out with how great man can be? What purpose is served by just creating really depressing narratives with no redemptive qualities? Real life's pretty bad as it stands, don't I have an obligation to use my work to, I don't know, make an allegorical statement of some substance?

*sigh* I need to start working on my blog again...

Probably more a conversation for No_Scans_Daily, but I felt like posting scans of the chaplain and getting thoughts from the comm.


8 pages behind the cut, from The Authority #25, 26 and #27.

Comments

[the_blue_padre]

1. I have had this twisted fascination with The Authority for awhile now. It's like the slowest car wreck you can imagine, and I feel the need to keep watching, even though it has no redeeming value.

3. I want to announce myself like that whenever I enter a room or start a sermon.

[the_blue_padre]

And yes, I missed 2.

[glprime]

Step 2: ...
Step 3: Prophet

Yeah, there are parts of the Authority that have been interesting, but I'm in the earlier bit where it hits a real low. There'll be better parts as I go through the rest, but this was the best "high point" I could find.

The Action Chaplain is definitely tongue-in-cheek, but he's actually got far more decent qualities than all the other hyper-violent, lewd superheroes.

And dramatic entrances go a long way with me as well.

[kamino_neko]

Step 3: Prophet

Moses or Muhammed?

[gehayi]

I don't know what I'm supposed to think of the Chaplain, but I don't like the character and hope that the writers get rid of him quickly. The reasons:

1) Breaking into a guy's room is not cool. I'd be pretty damned hostile, too, if somebody busted through the wall into MY room--especially after I'd already told him to go away.

2) Beating people up and threatening to knock out teeth is not what I expect from a minister, either. It doesn't impress me; it just makes me think that he's a fucking bully. I already have a very negative view of evangelical neocons, many of whom tend to approach people and organizations with whom they disagree with sledgehammer in hand. The chaplain is convincing me that he is very like the worst examples of those who claim to be Christians, and I don't want to read about someone like that.

3) I don't like him singling Midnighter out for "if you want to talk" when Midnighter really isn't the sort to confide in people about problems, least of all strangers. And--even when Midnighter calls him on it and demands to know what "problem" the chaplain is talking about--the chaplain weasels out of any description of any difficulty that Midnighter might have. This does NOT make me think that he's a stand-up guy for Christianity. It makes me think that he's an ultraconservative with serious issues about Midnighter's homosexuality, but he doesn't want to come out and say that just yet.

4) I don't see him showing any kindness, compassion or mercy in these eight pages. If I were looking for a chaplain, I'd want him or her to possess those qualities in abundance.

"You're going to let me minister or I'll paint the wall with you" does not demonstrate those qualities. It says to me: "I'm entitled to minister." It says: "If you don't happen to agree, I'll force you to do what I want." It says: "I will hurt you--and hurt you BADLY--so that I can more fully serve the God of Peace and Love. And I see no contradiction there."

5) "Chaplain Action, He-Man of the Cloth" sounds like a joke, i.e., he takes himself seriously, but you're not supposed to. Not unlike "Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman ADVENTURER!"

Othar, however, is genuinely amusing. This guy is not.

[glprime]

The Chaplain has only ever appeared in these (and three more) pages. This entire story arc has been wiped away and forgotten.

And these guys aren't the actual Authority, and don't go by the same names (Midnighter is on the lamb; this guy is called Last Call). He's assuming Last Call and Teutonic are gay (like the Midnighter and Apollo are), and Last Call is a vehement homophobe, so he likes getting in people's face about the implication he is alike his predecessor in that way.

The Colonel (and his teammates) are very much entitled jerks who have been very brutal with innocent lives. They need a good kick in the pants to do the right thing, because they talk about not being paid enough to risk their lives almost every other page.

The fact that the chaplain is rather forward and aggressive I would put down to the fact he is from a military background (more than likely black ops like most of the other military posthumans in Wildstorm).

He is, however, a very encouraging and even empathetic individual (compared to every other character with dialogue during these issues). Most people outside the original Authority lineup are often insulting each other than giving advice or listening to one another.

Is this guy a real-world minister? Goodness, no. But he's a minister to indulgent, superpowered government soldiers. So he's not going to be the softest hand in offering advice and guidance.

[glprime]

*slight Fruedian typo with "on the lamb" but I'll let it play :)*

[gehayi]

I didn't know this wasn't the real Authority. And I'll take your word for it that he's a decent guy...though I still don't like the character.

The Colonel (and his teammates) are very much entitled jerks who have been very brutal with innocent lives.

I'm sorry to hear that. I loathe the tendency in modern comics to make protagonists less than heroic.

Is this guy a real-world minister? Goodness, no. But he's a minister to indulgent, superpowered government soldiers. So he's not going to be the softest hand in offering advice and guidance.

Why do the indulgent, superpowered soldiers even HAVE a chaplain? Is it a PR thing?

[glprime]

I'm sorry, A LOT of what you're asking about is actually in the body of my post.

Are you familiar with The Authority series? It is by-and-large a pretty dark, violent and crass work, even at its good points.

I'm interested to talk out points raised, but you seem to be drawing conclusions only from these pages, and there's a lot of wider stuff on the comm to see more of the series.

[sianmink]

The Replacement Authority were never meant to be protagonists. They're meant to make the Real Authority look like Big Damn Heroes in comparison. They're actually all nasty little pieces of work, before the real team comes back and kills the hell out of them.

[icon_uk]

In my neck of the Bible Belt, I'd known the Phony Christians, the Bad Christians, and even some Genuine Good Christians. This guy seems like the latter type,

I dunno, I find it hard to accept someone who calls themselves "Chaplain Action, He-Man of the Cloth" and... postures to the extent he does, and apparently unironically as a particularly good example of the Christian ministry.

His talk with Last Call might be about dealing with his homophobia (rather than suppressed homosexuality), but there's little else to be seen of him having an opinion on the subject. Vagueness does his character no favours in that situation

Commenting on how someone being electrocuted is still a good man, suggests a tolerance of torture which is more than a bit antiethical to the concept of Christianity. He'd be deploring the torture, not using it as an example of what a good person the Colonel really is.

A Chaplain does more than follow orders, they follow their faith.

He is, however, a very encouraging and even empathetic individual (compared to every other character with dialogue during these issues).

Yeah, but as that's not a terribly high bar to set, it's still not terribly impressive. If he DOES only appear in these and three more pages, the other three pages must be fairly impressive because I don't really see any particularly admirably encouraging and/or empathetic traits.

[mrstatham]

I think he's pulling Last Call and Teuton aside because of who their exact opposites are in the real Authority, and that he expects them to be the same - and whilst LC is clearly aggravated, Teuton expected them to be able to work together or more, as he confides in Apollo later. Might be just me, but given the overall tone of the arc, I'd imagine he'd warn them about being gay; They're meant to appeal to most of America, who probably didn't appreciate that aspect of Midnighter or Apollo.

[icon_uk]

Which means he doesn't even do his research on his charges, which does not reflect well on him either.

[mrstatham]

I don't know as the replacements would've been around that long to do research on, given I imagine the G7 countries would prefer to keep them secret.

I honestly think it says more about Teuton and Last Call than any lack of action on Chaplain Action's behalf. That Last Call's reaction is overblown to the point he may as well be yelling 'NOWAYDOODILOOOOOVEWIMMIN' is telling, IMO.

[icon_uk]

Well yes, if he's taking over from a homosexual member, and is a homophobe himself he's probably sick to the back teeth of people assuming that he's gay too.

[mrstatham]

I'll be frank - to me, his dialogue always made me feel like he was just utterly in denial, unless the writers were trying to make a point about Italian men and their hyper-masculinity - if I'm remembering the story right.

Of course, my pet theory doesn't hold up in light of the bit where LC changes back reality by the sheer force of his apparent homophobia.

[lilacsigil]

Thanks for the quick reminder as to why I hate Millar's writing!

[mrstatham]

This isn't solely Millar writing - he was having difficulty with editorial at this point and a fill in writer was assigned.

The worst part is that there's even worse stuff in the story, and stuff that got pulled - that bit with the Colonel having sex with the Jenny Sparks lookalikes? Was originally the Colonel having sex with the actual Jenny's corpse.

I don't know who got the idea to waste the potential of the Authority after Ellis was done, but you can almost guarantee that 95% of the bad image the book and characters get is from Millar and his garbage.

[skjam]

Ah yes, I remember Chaolain Action being the one thing I liked about this story arc as well.

Mind you, I considered him a super *villain*. But unlike 95% of religious villains in comics, he's not a villain because of his religion, but because he's betraying it for his secular masters. I also liked that his particular version of the faith seems to be "Muscular Christianity", which suggests a little more research than comics writers normally do.

And I note that he's the one character from the Fake Authority arc who does not suffer a horrible retalitiatory fate once the main storyline comes back. As far as we know, he's still out there somewhere with the possibility of reform.

[sharky_chan]

"I mean, if I'm going to be writing about how terrible man can be, shouldn't I level it out with how great man can be? What purpose is served by just creating really depressing narratives with no redemptive qualities? Real life's pretty bad as it stands, don't I have an obligation to use my work to, I don't know, make an allegorical statement of some substance?"

Yes to this. If you become the next Dostoevsky, I will so read your work :).

[zenbro]

What purpose is served by just creating really depressing narratives with no redemptive qualities?

Because...TRAGEDY (dum dum dum) needs a nice black lampshade...because...TRAGEDDYYYY

j/k. I agree. My favorite narratives are about characters who shine in truly awful situations. Much more interesting.

Greek tragedy: Man dies, blame the gods.
Shakespearean tragedy: Man dies, blame human error.
Russian tragedy: Everyone dies, but they die happy...

[zenbro]

The more I think about it...I suspect people who like tragic narratives with no redemptive qualities are simply feeding a confirmation bias about "how terrible things are, so it's best to accept your lot." I think about these people sitting in theaters nodding their heads and thinking, "yah, life sucks like that, man" and just haven't developed an imagination or appetite for positive change. There's also a subset of fans who are just flat-out schadenfreude addicts.

[sharky_chan]

I basically agree with you, but I will say (as you point out earlier) that what is tragic depends on the reader.

I have a friend who finds Russian lit a generally bleak, nihilistic affair, whereas I see it as finding beautiful moments hidden in suffering, making it an ultimate expression of hope...but I've never gotten the hang of Chekhov, whose plays I generally find bleak, nihilistic affairs XD.

So maybe Millar and company are trying to show something beautiful and redemptive in the ugliness of their narrative and I'm just completely missing it. That said, my money is still on this being a sort of self-indulgent wankery at how gritty and dark they can "push" the comic medium. Yes, I get it's hardcore, but once I got past my angsty teen years, I realized how dull and uninteresting ultraviolence is.

[zenbro]

a sort of self-indulgent wankery at how gritty and dark they can "push" the comic medium.

Preach, brother. We are already soaking in grittiness and absurdity. I want what's beyond that, and I want it to be potent and meaningful.

[proteus_lives]

The Authority was already in the toilet but this storyline was the flush.

[mrstatham]

Between his main run and the Jenny Sparks mini, Millar did pretty much shit on the team and set them on fire.

I think the Jenny mini pissed me off more, though. She was maybe Ellis' signature character, and Millar shat on her by basically making her responsible for World War II and the Holocaust, which just didn't gel with what Ellis established about her.

[icon_uk]

Isn't the flush a GOOD thing in a crowded toilet bowl...

Well, there's another one to add to the "Sentences I never expected to find myself typing" list.

[20thcenturyvole]

I love the panel with "CHAPLAIN ACTION, HE-MAN OF THE CLOTH," but that's the only chuckle this story arc got out of me.

It makes a really interesting contrast with DnA's run, I think. In that arc, the world's ended and everything's ravaged and doomed, but even then it's more optimistic and imbued with love than this faux-edgy garbage.

[wizardru]

As I recall, this story-arc was the last straw. I had thought Ellis' Authority was an interesting experiment in 'JLA with no restrictions' and a logical outreach from his Stormwatch work (though I found it rang the 'government is eee-viillll' bell a few too many times).

Millar's authority started out as kind of interesting and then became puerile. It felt like someone was just throwing out the vilest and in some cases most juvenile stuff out there because he could. This arc was the final straw, when it became obvious they weren't going to double-back to do interesting things, but were just doing crap. Yes, the replacement Authority got their come-uppance but it just wasn't worth it.