DC solicits for Green Lantern titles - August 2012

[sherkahn]

Newsarama has the preview for the Green Lanterns, as things go from bad to worse, respectively for all of them.

*edit* Oh come on, you know it's a dull preview. I had to spice it up.


This one caught my attention...

The *cough* not *cough* solicit.

GREEN LANTERN: COSMIC SEX TOYS #12
On sale AUGUST 22 • 32 pg, with centerfolds of your favorite male, female and alien too tight to be real painted on outfits for all walks of life and orientations.
FC, $2.99 US • RATED X
Retailers: This issue will ship with two rainbow covers for all forms of fans. The variant cover will also include green lantern wetnaps for cleaning afterwards. MUST HAVES!
• The COCK RING– the ultimate badge of honor of the Green Lantern, revealed!
• The GUARDIANS vs. LARFLEEZE! - You've seen Snow White vs. The Seven Dwarves. Now see what happens when you mix a tall, orange "furry" and 7 short, old, bald, small people with Smurf fetishes! Group fun!
• KYLE RAINER GOES TOO FAR! The horrors of alien sex bondage! Dick never told him it would be like THIS!



GIANT INVISIBLE GNADS!!!

No, that's not the solicit.... this is.


"GREEN LANTERN: NEW GUARDIANS #12
Written by TONY BEDARD
Art and cover by TYLER KIRKHAM and BATT
1:25 B&W Variant cover by TYLER KIRKHAM
On sale AUGUST 22 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• The RING THIEF – unmasked!
• The NEW GUARDIANS vs. LARFLEEZE!
• The final judgment of INVICTUS!

Comments

[thatnickguy]

The safe word is G'Nort.

[cleome45]

Because of your avatar, I was imagining the first "solicit" as being read by Comic Book Guy.

That's the best, or the worst, depending on how you look at it.

[full_metal_ox]

Because of having watched altogether too much 1960's Green Hornet of late, I was imagining the first blurb as delivered by Gary Owens.

[eaglet_auditore]

How do you watch 1960's Green Hornet? I can't find it anywhere.

[full_metal_ox]

The Green Hornet, along with X-Files and the 60's live-action Batman, has been running on a social TV network called YouToo (I've been watching at a friend's house, and couldn't tell you exactly how it works.)

There are also DVDs of questionable legality* out there, most often available from Asian vendors; be aware that at least some will have edited together several TV episodes to produce a mock feature. On the plus side, they'll often contain bonus background material pertaining to the series; one DVD extra was devoted to the specs and current ownership of the Black Beauty, and another to the heroes' various gadgets..

*I speak for the U.S., not presuming to know what the legality or availability thereof might be in Canada.

[eaglet_auditore]

Thanks! I do live in Canada, so I'll see what I can. :)

[full_metal_ox]

I don't know a great deal about Canada's demographics, but my semi-educated guess is that Vancouver, given the significant Asian and showbiz presence there, might offer the most promising pickings.

I've been given to understand that the series is in legal limbo because rights to the Green Hornet TV series and the character per se are in different (and inimical) hands; copyright conflicts also prohibit any mention of the canonical fact that Britt Reid is the grand-nephew of John Reid--AKA the Lone Ranger. (Criminal Minds fans might find themselves speculating as to whether the Reid family might have produced any other illustrious crimefighters...)

(As long as we're on the subject, I hope you don't mind my using it as a cue to pass along something just because I found it cool: fan Ricardo Dowridge multiplies himself into a one-man orchestra to pay homage to Rimsky-Korsakoff, Al Hirt and the Green Hornet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UVF7tkdRw)

[icon_uk]

The illusion of polychrome Lantern bondage, whilst delightful, is sort of spoiled by the fact the Blue Ring appears to be forcing him to wear a life-preserver.

[maseiken]

Better safe than sorry, you have no idea the scale of... fluids... involved here...

[shadowpsykie]

O_O

[liara_shadowsong]

o_O

[drexer]

I do believe that the effect is accentuated by the only possible way to describe the area around his crotch is with the concept of a 'black hole'.

Seriously, there is no light whatsoever escaping that event horizon.

If you know what I mean.

[blackruzsa]

I concur with this.
Science!

[arilou_skiff]

Speaking of which, do we have a "Where's the Penis?" tag?

Because it's one of the more common anatomy-fails. (along with the usual boobs do not work that way)

[gerardotejada]

This tecnically has both

[auggie18]

I'm always a fan of "where are the nipples?"

Or, the sister game, "why are her nipples poking through her shirt/kevlar/a solid metal breastplate?"

[gerardotejada]

Hal is the one that has his number in the bathroom, so why Kyle?

[eaglet_auditore]

Having read quickly the solicits and scrolled by the pictures without a second thought, I did not realise how... eventful this one picture actually is.

It's like... Extreme Dentist Porn: The Musical.

[eyz]

BWAHAHAHAHA!! XD
I miss the actual fun Peter Parker-y Kyle from the 90s. And either Donna or Jade around him... though both been Didio'd...I mean, erased. So...

[liara_shadowsong]

...Why exactly does he have a black hole for a crotch? I'm pretty sure there are other things wrong with the anatomy, but I just can't tear my eyes away from that particular fail.

[sherkahn]

When you state into the abyss....