Superman's Saddest Day

[cyberghostface]

 

While scuba diving, Jimmy Olsen discovers the lost prophecies of Nostradamus, but only one prophecy is still legible.




Olsen travels to the island of Dominia where he trespasses to see the king and pretends that he's applying for the royal cook. He makes a sandwich with onions and peppers to make the king cry but the king ends up loving it and his daughter, the princess, becomes enamored with Jimmy.




He visits a circus and attempts to sabatoge the clown's act to make him cry but it doesn't work. Little does he know the Joker is also there and he attempts to steal the diamonds from a movie star attending the circus (Batman is her chaperone). Joker's able to overpower Batman by gassing him.



To get the tears of a killer, Jimmy visits a near-east country to interview the assassin of its prime minister, hoping that he will be remorseful. The assassin however is not, saying that the prime minister was going to be a dictator.




Jimmy visits Superman and asks for his help, but Superman tells him that he's invulnerable to pain and fear. Jimmy takes Superman to see his monument to his parents but Superman doesn't cry and Jimmy accuses him of not having a heart.

Comments

[grazzt]

This might be the most Dickery I've ever seen in a single silver age story.

[thezmage]

Jimmy wanted to turn Superman on with sentimental nostalgia?

[skemono]

I'd really like to see more of that executioner.

[pallas_athena]

Yes, so would I!

[lbd_nytetrayn]

New 52 it!

[donnblake]

I love how unambitious Jimmy's intended uses for his new superpowers are. "I could turn hot dogs into diamonds to freak out street vendors! I could skip the elevator at work!"

[leoboiko]

And he says he wants a power like Midas' touch? Might want to review your mythology, Jimmy…

[superfangirl1]

Comic science for the win!

[apexpredator]

And suddenly, "Injustice: Gods Among Us" has a backstory that makes so much more sense.

[althechi]

Eric Cartman's spiritual predecessor, everybody.

[glprime]

The overwrought title had me picturing Superman being told there is no more Shamrock Shake left... in the WORLD.

And he just floats a few feet above the ground, shoulders rolled forward, arms hanging, legs bent underneath him, wearing an exaggerated frowny mouth and big watery eyes.

That image is now better than anything these scans could produce, so I'm just gonna hang on to that and bid this thread adieu.

[ablackraptor]

I have to say, I find it rather touching that the only thing that can make him cry was the sight of the Kents' graves. Kinda pulls at the old heart string.

The rest of the story is pure crack though. Man, Silver Age stories never fail to amuse me.

[lbd_nytetrayn]

Thanks for posting this! I always wondered what the deal was behind so many of these stories.

Now, does anyone have anything for why Batman has to color coordinate his closet each night?