I'm all for "making friends" as a goal in life..

[icon_uk]

but trust Lex Luthor to take it a little more literally than most

Back in 1972, Lex is in the middle of one of his daily rants about how much he hates Superman, when he's excited to hear a knock at the door.







So Luthors idea of a fun passtime is to grow naked young men (As he mentions, this isn't the first time he did it), and then program their minds to do his bidding.... Kinky!

So what would you program your Jimmy Olsen clone to do?

This was from Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #162.. and you want to know the weirdest part? This isn't even the oddest Jimmy cloning exercise that the DCU had to deal with in this run!

That would actually be back in issue 135, when during a trip to "the Project" (What we would know as the Cadmus Project) Superman and Jimmy find some... disturbing members of staff.



As was noted on the page I found these images on (when putting the first images reminded me that there HAD been another occasion when something like that had happened) this is deeply disturbing. Jimmy's genetic material has been given (without his consent) to a Government funded, Apokalips linked, top secret experimentation centre, where it has been used to grow clones who are used as soldiers and... well, heaven knows what else.

And it gets weirder yet...



So they've also grown dozens of little micro-Jimmy's, who run around wearing nothing more than tiny little micro-briefs..

I'd say "You couldn't make it up", but good old Jack Kirby not only could, he DID!

Comments

[crinos]

So Lex Luthors plan is thus:

Step 1: Clone Jimmy Olson a whole mess of times.

Step 2:

Step 3: Profit/World Domination/The final defeat of Superman/Hair!

[randyripoff]

At least he wasn't growing a genetically identical Flippa Dippa in his lab...

[icon_uk]

Well, apparently not THIS lab... I wouldn't like to assume more than that.

[randyripoff]

Maybe Flippa was in the undersea lab...

[his_spiffynesss]

So, who’s the flunky with the ugly pants?

[icon_uk]

Random flunky introduced in the story and never seen again AFAIK (And they may be ugly be they're more than the Jimmy clone got!)

[zapbiffpow]

Whoa, that Clone Jimmy - what a face. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes...

Also, to answer icon_uk's question, I would program my Jimmy Olsen to sit creepily in the background of family pictures.

That or frighten small children. Everyone needs a hobby.

[dustbunny105]

Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes...

Doesn't even seem to be living until he bites you and those black eyes roll over white...

[zapbiffpow]

Yes! You're awesome.

[sharky_chan]

Favorite quote from one of my favorite movies XDXDXD.

[siliconshaman]

Right, the ability to clone an individual an unlimited amount of times, and program them to do anything....and the best he can do is create a faux Jimmy Olsen to act as a ringer?

Sad.. truly sad...[definite lack of imagination on the writers part].

and I suppose a clone army is a touch cliché...but just think, you have an army of gingers!

[icon_uk]

Sadly, as it was the early 1970's, if he grew an army of Jimmy clones, even Lex would never be able to afford all those pairs of flairs and/or safari suits.

[perletwo]

Nah, cloning Jimmy Olsen, that's not that impressive, Modern Science. Call me when you can give him a halfway decent personality, 'K?

[icon_uk]

Hey, that's "Mr Action" you're talking about!

[janegray]

It saddens me that even the silly Silver Age of Comics portrayed cloning more realistically than modern works of fiction.

Notice how they call the Jimmy clone a twin. Because clones are (identical) twins. Different people with identical DNA. None of that "you can bring a dead person back to life by cloning them because a clone is the same person as the original" bullshit.

*cough*

Sorry. I really, really, REALLY hate it when cloning is used to "bring a character back." It adds insult to injury, not only is the character I loved still dead but they are pretending s/he came back to life D:

[icon_uk]

It was a new comic-book science back then, they hadn't discovered how wrong they could make it.

[bruinsfan]

Also note that the story acknowledged that a clone grown to adulthood in moments would have a completely blank mind and would need to be programmed to function in any way. Most comic writers who deal with cloning seem to think that a person's entire personality/memory is present in every single cell of their body.

[icon_uk]

By the time you're getting to a machine which uses some form of radiant energy to grow a cell sample to a full grown person in good physical shape (without benefit of any nutrition being consumed or any excercise to define muscle tone) and that it also cuts and styles the hair, I think you're so far into the sci-fi route you may as well make the best of it! :)

[sharky_chan]

Is...there a reason Jimmy Olsen is the one singled out for all this cloning. Seems like an odd choice. Also, the idea of microscopic Jimmies in nothing but underwear running around the world is...oddly terrifying?

[icon_uk]

Well, the title of the comic sort of a clue, Jimmy is well known as "Superman's Pal", so if Lex can blacken Jimmy's name, it'll ruin the life of Superman by proxy. (It was a slow day for evil, and Lex takes his shots where he can)

Either that or Lex just likes the idea of being surrounded by docile, programmable, redheaded naked guys who look like Jimmy Olsen. (He has a thing for freckles?)

[sharky_chan]

I'm going to have to go with option number 2. I'd lose all respect for Lex if option 1 is the best he can do with his evil genius powers XDXDXD.

[thezmage]

You know what I think is oddly terrifying? Imagining the guy who has to make and then put on the underwear for the microscopic Jimmy Olsens

[sharky_chan]

I CANNOT UNSEE!!

[icon_uk]

It's the fact he makes them all do a little dance afterweards that should make you REALLY worry.

[thezmage]

Not really. You have to make sure that the briefs aren't defective, and will move with him. At that size, it's really the only quality control you have.

Because the only thing worse than the thought of accidentally inhaling millions of nearly naked Jimmy Olsens is the thought of accidentally inhaling millions of naked Jimmy Olsens.

[chrisdv]

No, it's the fact he has enough Jimmy Olsen clones to start a Dance Troupe.