The Wedding You Never Expected To See!

[skjam]

Hi folks!

It's been a while since we last checked in on our favorite hideously-scarred bounty hunter, so let's do that.



This scene does not appear in this issue. What does is a wedding you were never expecting to see; SPOILERS for All Star Western #26.



We open back in the Weird West, with some bounty hunters trying to claim jump Tallulah Black's latest kill. They fare badly.



Who's the babydaddy?



After a kindly gentleman allows Jonah Hex to have his seat on the train, Hex snoozes until he reaches a dusty little town, where a parson waits to greet him.




It is, of course, a trap. After Hex and Black finish killing everyone else in the church, they share a moment of true happiness.

And having experienced true happiness, Jonah reverts to his other personality of Angelus and kills Tallulah.

Kidding! Jonah suddenly realizes he's in a New 52 comic book where no hero can get/stay married or experience any form of long-term happiness, and kills Tallulah as an act of mercy before editorial can get at her.

And then we rejoin the actual plot, already in progress. Won't tell you anything about that.



Your thoughts and comments?
SKJAM!

Comments

[jeyl]

"If there is anyone here today who objects to this unholy union"

Whoa. This got me thinking. What if marriage between two characters in the DC universe actually lead the couple to being miserable because of it? It would fit the "Our characters must be miserable" quota that DC strides for. All they'd have to do is look beyond their belief that marriage is the ultimate happy thing that removes any trace of drama from any character associated with it. I better be careful or else Kirk will use this line of reasoning to cause a computer to self-destruct.

[an_idol_mind]

Please tell me you're kidding about Tallulah dying. She's an awesome character and I will be sad if she's gone.

[skjam]

As I hinted, not everything here is to be taken at face value.

[bruinsfan]

I have to admit, I would not have expected Jonah Hex to be the type for a Juggalo theme wedding.

[skjam]

It does say something about the inside of Jonah's head that this wedding is heavy on Dia de los Muertos imagery. What it says I hesitate to identify.

[donnblake]

"I'm getting married in the evening!
Ding Dong the bells are gonna chime!
There'll be evil clowns,
We'll need to shoot down,
So get me to the church on time!"

[ablackraptor]

I've no followed this at all, mostly because westerns hold no appeal to me, but a one-eyed, pregnant gun-slinger is the single most awesome thing I've seen for a while.

[skjam]

There has been relatively little "Western" in the Jonah Hex stories in New 52, instead having "character from a spaghetti Western in places other than the Old West" theme. Kind of a compromise between "Jonah Hex is a great character with a loyal fanbase including DC Editorial" and "Western comics don't sell."

[funbox]

For those who are confused, Jonah got hit with the Black Mercy plant, and this is his deepest desire.