Lois and Clark - The first time is always awkward

[icon_uk]

Courtesy of Nebezial, and just to be on the safe side, perhaps not the safest thing to view at work, but there's nothing OVERLY blatant.







first time is always awkward XD by nebezial on deviantART

Well, it makes a change from the usual "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" jokes... I wonder if this means that Lana Lang was just very understandng and more open to experimentation, or she and Clark never did get THAT close? Though as Lana was also Insect Queen as a girl, back in pre-Crisis days, perhaps a penis with pincers just doesn't faze her the way it might other folks...

I confess I always did wonder if Clark might have had the odd alien twinges growing up thanks to his Kryponian physiology, like eating only sawdust for a four week period when he was seven... or the time his hair started to come in a sky blue colour for a few months when he was twelve.. that sort of thing.
 

Comments

[venatosapiens]

"What the HELL IS THAT" is never a nice thing to hear when you drop your pants. Come on, Lois. Show a little tact.

[icon_uk]

True, but the odd little kink, or the unexpected size (in either direction) or the like is one thing, entirely new, multiply pointy, body-parts emerging from it... I think a little freak-out is justified.

[venatosapiens]

Though, now that you mention it, the idea that small-town girl Lana Lang is into it while the more sophisticated Lois is unprepared is pretty fun.

[bruinsfan]

In the big city, there are all kinds of interesting things to do after school. In small towns, there's mostly just the small-town boys.

[kamino_neko]

I think odd little kinks are something you should be discussing before the pants come off. >_>

Yeah, I know what you meant, but that phrasing...

[drtechnobabel]

Every time one of these jokes are made, I can't help but imagine Clark's penis screaming like a chestburster whenever it's revealed.

[cainofdreaming]

"Now, don't you worry. It uses a cyanide based compound to induce artificial coma while it deposits the larvae... why are you screaming and running away, Lois?"

[superfangirl1]

Oh good grief. Bruce never gave me this much trouble.

[junipepper]

win!

[superfangirl1]

It could be worse Lois. At least Clark jr is not shooting heat vision also.

[thanekos]

" Okay, okay.. I can work with this. How's your tongue? "
" Um.. "
" .. please tell me that's plaque. Super-plaque, even. "

[ozaline]

I have seen this joke before, but not with such lovely art (and there the penis had seven heads and was shown). I like this version. You think his human parents woukd warn him though, if they noticed any differences when he was a toddler.

[icon_uk]

Puberty can be a real bastard?

[kamino_neko]

'When other boys started growing hair down there, I was growing other things....'

[ozaline]

Also he can see through clothes...

[lego_joker]

I've always suspected that Superman subtly differed from human physiology in more... offsetting ways than just "he's tougher and stronger and faster than everyone else"...

Like, maybe he's got forty teeth in adult form where humans have thirty-two, or a weird number of chromosomes, or his sperm... isn't really contained where it would be in a human male.

[bruinsfan]

If nothing else I'd bet vestigial organs like wisdom teeth and tailbones were bred out over millenia of Kryptonian eugenics (if they ever had such structures in the first place).

[althechi]

"Whatever happened to your appendix, Mr. Kent?"

"My what?"

[sagrada]

There was one early issue in Kurt Busiek's Camelot Falls storyline where another alien, the mutated and experimented-on-to-an-inch-of-his-life Subjekt 17, uses his own x-ray vision on Superman to reveal an immensely alien internal structure, with organs and internal supports like nothing on Earth, let alone familiar to humanity.

[umbrall]

I thought so too. Clavicle tint, pore pattern etc. It would mean Lois could differentiate between Kryptonians and humans visually, from the little things.

[ablackraptor]

I know Smallville did have it as canon that his blood looks completely different than normal under a microscope, to the point that a doctor was able to figure out he was an alien. IIRC, I think they also established that his organ structure is different, but I might be confusing that with my own headcanon.

[icon_uk]

"I have new kidneys!! I don't like the colour"

The 12th Doctor on regenerating.

[dr_archeville]

"Why, he's one of the healthiest men I've ever seen! And such plentiful organs!"

*ahem*

This image is from Superman vol.1:no.656 (Nov 2006), and is a scan of Superman's internal anatomy (performed by Subjekt-17).

The penciler for this was Carlos Pacheco, and the colourist was Dave Stewart.

Dr. Scott at Polite Dissent says:
That certainly looks like a large heart in the center of his chest, though with more blood vessels entering/leaving than a human heart — but I have no idea what the small red organ just over his heart is. The lungs appear to be behind the heart, but again have many more vessels coming off that human lungs. Speaking of blood vessels, those are some freakishly large vessels looping in the abdomen and going down the leg. There appears to be a small liver or a kidney in the chest. There is some large yellow spiculated organ where I'd expect his bladder to be. The rest of the chest and abdomen seem to be a random assortment of organ and blood vessels.

Superman is an alien, so it would be unlikely for him to have the same anatomy as us, though we know it's close enough for heart monitors and other medical equipment to work. Still I always pictured it as a little closer to human than this.

I'd love to know what Pacheco used as his reference or if he was just winging it.

Winging it... or was Pacheco trying to show/remind us that Superman is truly an alien being, whose similarities to Homo sapiens are only superficial?

[umbrall]

This would explain the pre-crisis tidbit that angry Kryptonians become vulnerable to blows to the chest.

[michaelhealy]

It's a good thing he's invulnerable, I don't think there is a single spot in that scan that doesn't have something vital looking.

[umbrall]

Poor Supergirl, shes got such a disappointment coming. "What, it has no features?"

Then again, human penises are feakisly large compared to our bodysize. Other primates like chimps and gorillas tend to be in the 2 inch range.

So if Kryptonian follow the general primate design, Kara might find it a strech to engage with humans.

[starwolf_oakley]

This makes me remember something better: a few post-Crisis issues from REIGN OF THE SUPERMAN and onward had Clark tell Lois their "first time" was on a rainy night in July. This was done so Lois would know Clark was the real deal. It was also done in SUPERMAN RED/SUPERMAN BLUE when both Clarks were the real deal.

[icon_uk]

It was also done in SUPERMAN RED/SUPERMAN BLUE when both Clarks were the real deal.

Which I imagine gave Lois all SORTS of new ideas...

[remial]

oh please, everyone knows that the kryptonian male's penis evolved pincers to ward off the female's poison stingers!