The best thing to happen to The Punisher since the Squirrel Girl version

[leoboiko]

What, it's not posted yet? You cuties are giving me the honor? Aww, you shouldn't have.

Yes, True Believers, this is real!! It's not a What If!! It's not an alternate universe!! It's not a Cosmic Cube toying with reality!! IT'S THE GODDAMN PUNISHERMOBILE!!!!

Featuring hidden guns! Missiles! Rocket launchers! Secret compartments for carrying extra ammo, painkillers, and tiger balls! Press a button to activate torture devices on passenger seats! No crook shall outrun their due punishment when chased at the turbo speeds of PURE NAPALM FUEL!! *speeds never exceed local legal limits ** this paragraph may be purely headcanon

What a time to be alive!

(One page from The Punisher #14, written by Becky Cloonan, drawn by Matt Horak.)

Comments

[reveen]

My first thought on reading the title is that the Punisher was opening a gym with his own over 50 fitness program. So this is underwhelming.

[leoboiko]

Sorry, I had some trouble coming up with something driving-related that would alliterate on "p".

Speaking of over fiftyness, I've heard that they finally took the plunge and made him a desert vet in the Netflix series, so I suppose comic Punisher was finally de-aged and had his timewindow advanced. My theory is that Frank, unusually for a Marvel character, was allowed to age because Vietnam has such a mythological status as a trope, and everyone could tell that taking the 'nam from him would weaken the character significantly. But, swole-military-daddy or not, the plausibility for that was starting to stretch; even if you'd made him 19 by the Tet Offensive (much younger than how he's usually portrayed in the jungle), he'd be 70 by now.

You already know the drill, you must hate my repetitiveness by now etc., but… in my ideal world Frank the Vietnam vet would be allowed to die for good, Marvel would make good use of the gift that Rucka gave them, and we'd all be reading the war diaries of Sergeant Cole-Alves. "The mission isn't the man, Sergeant. It never was". Oh well, at least we got a car with a skull on it.

[q99]

"since the Squirrel Girl version"

Squirrel Girl version??

[qalchemist]

Squirrel Girl Punisher?

[leoboiko]

Best Punisher or bestest Punisher?

[lbd_nytetrayn]

I keep having to re-verify whether or not this is canon to everything else.

Incidentally, I heard "Squirrel Girl Punisher" and had something else entirely in mind.

[leoboiko]

I think it lives in the gray half-canon zone.

[dcbanacek]

I liked the van better.

[leoboiko]

In my mind the van's still a Micro thing. Feels weird to have one without the other.

[super_fly]

Crossover with All-New Ghost Rider. Drag race/Collaborative vehicular manslaughter. Needs to happen.