John Constantine: Hellblazer #4 (2020) - "Scrubbing Up, Part One"

[laughing_tree]

Cannot wwwwWAIT for you guys to meet Tommy Willowtree in #HELLBLAZER 4 next week. He is quite literally everything John isn't. -- Si Spurrier

He is a gentleman, a scholar, a clean-living, vegan acolyte of love. So naturally, John Constantine hates his effing guts. -- Issue solicitation

Comments

[zachbeacon]

Pun magic is a thing? I could have been a powerful wizard this whole time? That's so much better than speaking backwards.

[roguefankc]

I know, I would personally love to do pun magic! Imagine casting spells that are witty!

[icon_uk]

Or at least cause your enemy to beg you stop, not the magic, they can handle that for days, but the puns are destroying their ability to concentrate on ANYTHING!

[erikred]

"And thou, O Cairbre son of Etain," said Lugh to his poet, "what power canst thou wield in the battle?"

"Not hard to tell," said Cairbre. "I will make a satire on them. And I will satirize them and shame them, so that through the spell of my art they will not resist warriors."

[icon_uk]

"Art though certain thy magick's shall be accurately cast?"

"Aye my Lord, forth I hath spell-checked them all"

[mesmiranda]

Vicious Mockery: the best cantrip.

[shakalooloo]

Oh, this is just brilliant stuff.

[remial]

can't wait until he gets nibbled to death by squirrels

Tommy Willowtree is growing on me...

[roguefankc]

Naturally, a part of me is suspicious that Tommy may be leading John Constantine into a trap or he's secretly evil or has ulterior motives, but two things strike out at me:

1. He's trying to protect people from racial attacks and is bothered enough to want to ask Constantine of all people (seriously, Tommy, contact the League - pretty sure Zatanna and Doctor Fate are more than happy to stamp this out).

2. He is surrendering items of power to Constantine instead of trying to hoard them for himself. He knows he's over his head but he has no problem admitting and asking help to someone who can do the job.

Plus, this Tommy convinced a vampire to go vegan; that's not exactly an easy feat. So I'll give him a point for that.

Re: Tommy Willowtree is growing on me...

[liliaeth]

I really hope he'll turn out to be a good guy. Because honestly, that'd piss Constantine off far more, than him being secretly evil ever would.

Re: Tommy Willowtree is growing on me...

[daydreamingtugrul]

O, you're going to absolutely love next issue.

Re: Tommy Willowtree is growing on me...

[cainofdreaming]

Yeah, Nabu would love to stamp this out. Along with everything else magical in the whole creation.

[icon_uk]

Ooooh, Phil Foglio "Stanley and His Monster" reference. Nice!

[malitia]

British pun wizardry... well, this was just a matter of time.

[icon_uk]

I'd have thought sarcasmagic might have taken root first, but it was probably a toss up.

[cainofdreaming]

Ironymancers would be riding their coattails.

[icon_uk]

Well, I was terrified. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.

What did he do?

He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, pathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious!

The Tale of the Piranha Brothers (Doug and Dinsdale)

[donnblake]

Alcohol content aside, eleven pints of Guiness is just a lot of carbohydrates!

[minervasolo]

I was thinking that - Guiness is hard to drink in large quantities because you just get... full. Unless there's been some tactical chunders going on.

[jaxjyls]

They honestly have pretty good chemistry

[lissa_quon]

what sort of chemistry we talking?

[icon_uk]

I'm reminded a little of the time Morrison/Yeowell's "Zenith" (A self absorbed, arrogant, idiot of a superhuman, who was more interested in his pop star career than doing anything for the good of others) met his thoroughly decent and good natured alternate self "Vertex".