Watch your tongue

[laughing_tree]

S.W.O.R.D. #5...

Comments

[dcbanacek]

Why do they keep bumping the assholes to the front of the resurrection line?

[beyondthefringe]

In this case, presumably because he was deemed useful for the SWORD program... although as this issues makes clear, he's not irreplaceable. I suspect that part of this was to put him in his place... I'm still snickering at how they make him do his presentation buck naked and covered in yolk. And then Peepers--PEEPERS, of all people--schools him on mutant pride.

But really, you'd think that they'd start thinking twice about how quickly to resurrect some people. Is it any great crime if Empath stays dead for a week or two? It's not like he's so important if they have to stick him with the Hellions crew.

You can't tell me Mystique's not over there being all "Quentin Quire has been resurrected 15 times, and they keep putting off Irene's resurrection with bullshit excuses and she's literally the only person I want and have requested... I only asked for Pyro back to make sure the system worked because I risked it on someone I loved."

[gnarll]

It does make sense that the people who die on the frontlines defending Krakoa get priority treatment. Keeps the troops corageous, and it means that you can deploy your most powerful assets over and over again.

[iamrman]

As fun as it was to see Cortez humiliated like this, I can't help but dread that it is going to bite the X-Men in the ass. We all know it doesn't take much to push entitled jackasses over the edge.

[scorntx]

Indeed.
While Fabian is a pathetic loser, he does seem like the sort of person who'd go on some sort of rampage because of it.
Real "shooting spree" vibes coming of him by the end of the issue...

[cainofdreaming]

He led his team of Acolytes to attack a hospital for terminally ill humans, several of whom they killed. So, yeah, he's a pointless bastard.

[tinygaylaura]

I mean he betrays you regardless of how you treat him

Magneto made him his trusted second in command and he repaid him by setting him up to die in space

I assume they just accept that Cortez is going to betray them and end up in the exile hole at some point no matter what they do so why waste time pretending they like him

[scorntx]

If it turns out Fabian is Orchis' secret traitor on the inside, it wouldn't be a surprise.

It'd actually be more of a shock if it turns out to be Peepers.
But it can't be, because he's so nice...

[tinygaylaura]

My money is on Amelia Voght because Charles is a snake and she's sick of this bald headed Svengali

[scorntx]

While the notion of it being Amelia is not outside the realm of possibility, she and Charles seemed to be getting on pretty well in this ish...

[tinygaylaura]

Or so it seemed!

TRUST NO ONE

[mastermahan]

Even Charles is getting into the spirit of Horny Orgy Island.

[thehood]

Trusting a lot of these villains will probably bit them eventually.

[tinygaylaura]

I don't think anyone on Krakoa actually TRUSTS any of them

[lbd_nytetrayn]

I'm under the impression they're trying to hit reset on their whole mutant vs mutant vs human status quo -- clean slate under new circumstances to make a fresh start, one chance at it, don't screw it up. And I'm not sure it would be as compelling if it wasn't across the board.

Ideally, they're keeping an eye on the more insidious ones, and are prepared to take action against them if need be. But until then and only until then, everyone gets a second chance to do things right.

[scorntx]

Waaay back in 2019, when the whole HoxPox was starting, it seemed like maybe the only reason Charles and Erik were mad enough to let all the really bad Mutants hang out on Krakoa was because they figured they'd all be falling over one another in their attempt to scheme and plot their way to the top, and be too busy to give the X-Men grief.
Which, from the looks of it, seems to be what actually happened.

Minus the bit where it's an intentional plan on Charles and Erik's part.

[onsokumaru]

Cortez should have tried to embarrass the council with the point Magneto made later: what is "human"?
Does the "no murder" rule apply to alien?
According to Magik, it doesn't. And according to the council, it doesn't apply to Vault Children or to sentient AI either.
In other words, that "murder no human" rule is a racist rule that disciminates between sentient beings.

[tinygaylaura]

"A human is a homo sapiens made of meat and blood not cogs and coolant and I'm just going to assume a hamster on a wheel"

[nyadnar17]

Its also probably the tightest restriction on the use of force of any nation on Earth, hell probably any nation in known Marvel space.

You aim a shotgun at a member of any other nation other than Krakoatia and you will end up in the ground.

[tinygaylaura]

I mean you will if you fuck with Krakoa as well

The law is against murder

Killing in defence of the nation is fine, same as with any other country

[mastermahan]

It's really not. The law is against murder, not all killing. If you have a valid justification or excuse, such as killing an enemy soldier in war, it's not murder.

And murder is illegal pretty much everywhere.

And as for the law only applying to one particular human subspecies: whatever Inhumans are left should probably watch their backs.

[silverhammerman]

Having only known Fabian Cortez from this series, in the context of him as the oily guy who everyone hates, I kind of love him. Unbowed by Magneto's attempt to humiliate and unmoor him by giving him his meeting freshly resurrected and nude, making a genuinely compelling critique of one of Krakoa's Laws by asking "Why is the highest mutant crime a crime against humans?" and framing that through the history of mutant persecution, then pivoting immediately and shamelessly into a murderous disregard for human life and argument for mutant supremacy. Even the way Peeper deflates him is a great. I kind of suspected back when Ewing put Cortez in the book that he must have had a really good plan for bringing back such an obscure and relatively dated villain, and I'm pleased to see that was the case. This a really good scene with Cortez, and I think as he's been set up he's a really interesting villain in a way that's both true to what I understand of his roots and the current Krakoan status quo.

[scorntx]

In bits not shown in these scans, it becomes pretty clear Cortez's argument is less trying to poke holes in Krakoan policy, nothing to do with persecution, and more he just wants to be able to murder humans and get away with it.
Just him, no-one else.
(When he's deflated, he just mutters about how he should get an exception.)
And judging by his ranting, it's partly to get back at his human family for only daring to give him a six-figure allowance to grow up on, when they could have given him more.
From their supply of old money inherited from that most human of passtimes, killing other people and taking their countries.

Think what Ewing is going for here is that Fab is awful in literally every possible way, short of doing unpleasant things to animals and corpses.

[silverhammerman]

Yeah, it looks like Cortez is rather cynically using the language of persecution and retribution to his own selfish ends. He's not sympathetic, but he's plausible as a smooth operator and manipulator, while still being clearly a petty and selfish ass.

[shadowpsykie]

why is peepers on the council

[tinygaylaura]

He deserves a seat on the council more than Sinister or Shaw

[zachbeacon]

Sinister is terrible but he's useful.

Shaw doesn't bring anything special to the table.

Emma has pretty much the same connections Shaw does and I'm not even sure he's the wealthiest person on the Council.

[donnblake]

Doesn't Xavier now secretly control the world economy or something? Or was that just aspirational on Magneto's part?

[zachbeacon]

He had the money to rebuild his mansion twice a year even before they flooded the market with miracle drugs.

I can't remember the last time he had a paying job (TV talking head before Cassandra Nova outed him 20 years ago?) so I assume he's living off some truly insane generational wealth.

I mean, he can't have been charging that much for tuition. Half of his students are either orphans or disowned.

[donnblake]

It's been suggested that he would be a dab-hand at insider trading, although I don't think I've seen any canonical confirmation of that.

[mastermahan]

Xavier makes money renting out the X-Mansion as a filming location. That's why it shows up everywhere.

[zachbeacon]

That checks out.

I assume Beast deals with the film crews. He's besties with Wonder Man so he's used to show biz weirdos.

[mastermahan]

Hank has become a sociopathic monster, so yeah, he'll be right at home with Hollywood.

[zachbeacon]

The reboot/prequel/AU/whatever movies do make more sense if Hank had way too much creative input.

"In the first movie I get to make out with whatever hot new actress you cast as Mystique.

In the second movie I'm the only one still there for Charles after things go wrong and his fairweather friends leave. Also there's time travel; time travel fixes everything.

The third movie needs to be all about a certain blue guy. I trust you know what I mean.

Also we're going to need a do-over on that terrible third X-Men movie where Frasier played me"

[mastermahan]

Shit, that explains so much.

[silverhammerman]

I think he's just a special guest brought specifically to own Cortez by showing that Magneto is much fonder of his other former lackeys.

[tinygaylaura]

Peepers is not a lackey he is a true friend!

[super_fly]

"The council recognises Councilperson Peepers" is a phrase that deserves to happen more often

My question is regarding his speech: What if someone picks a name to say who they are and it's already taken?

What if someone else wants to be Peepers?

[scorntx]

They fight to the death.
Whoever wins gets the honour of being Peepers.

[zachbeacon]

Who cares?

ALL HAIL KING PEEPERS!

[zachbeacon]

YOU FOOLS! You've put Cortez on Shaw's radar. No good can come from this.

Some of those expressions, though...

Sinister looks thrilled to be dealing with someone more hated than he is and Exodus looks like he's plotting a murder.

[thezmage]

Frankly, Sinister looks like he's trying to get a better look at Cortez' crotch to me

[zachbeacon]

Well ... Fabian did just just wake up. I'm sure it draws a lot of attention to itself.

[donnblake]

That's just resurrection wood! I'm not at full mast just because I'm talking about murder and humans and why I should be allowed to murder humans!

[zachbeacon]

He would get a genocide boner, wouldn't he?

(I imagine Sinister might appreciate that too)

Gonna go with "a little of column A and a little of column B".

[super_fly]

Wait, I have additional questions
Is Cortez addressing the council naked?

[alliterator]

Yes, he was just resurrected. He asked if he could get dressed, but Jean Grey was like, "Nope, it's now or never."