Hack/Slash- @%&#ed!

[tinygaylaura]

This Halloween, tell Censorship that it can go @&$£! itself



Hack/Slash is the tale of Cassie Hack, the daughter of a serial killer who travels the country with her best friend a strong and somewhat strange looking man named Vlad, hunting down "Slashers" a unique kind of undead being who are what happens when people who were either extremely hateful or actual serial killers in life die and find themselves re-animated as an even more monstrous version of their living selves

They encounter a lot of other weirdness on their journey from otherdimensional gods to human evil

And the latter is what they find here




In Cassie's defence she had a good reason to kill her ex-girlfriend's mom

Still

Dick move Vlad

One almost-fatal car crash later and the two find themselves in a strange situation




Clearly something weird is going on

Also clearly even by the standards of Middle America, this town is fucked up

Or !$&*@#ed up as I guess it would be called here

The town is also stalked by THIS weirdo




It's like if the zombie of Fred Phelps had a baby with the ghost of Frederick Wertham and then they let every Professionally Outraged halfwit out there babysit this abomination they had spawne

Cassie and Vlad immediately question just what the @&%£$! is going on in this town which leads them to an encounter with its creepy as shit mayor Richard Weiner

Who is what some people would call a man of strong political opinions and what people with a brain would call a psychotic fascist




"Violence, swearing and deviant sexuality"

Goddamn now I realise I know exactly what I'm going to call my autobiography

Also I have a possible alternative verse for my own version of "These are a few of my favorite things"

Currently stuck in this hideous Norman Rockwell painting come to life Cassie and Vlad soon decide to do something about it...tho Cassie is not initially thrilled that her on/off ex girlfriend is the one who comes to help since things haven't been ideal between them since she kind of killed her mom

The two come up with a way to lure the slasher out

But it is as intricate and precise as a well played game of chess




Sure enough the Slasher shows, outraged at the idea of people enjoying themselves and Cassie, Vlad and Laurie attempt to take this joyless asshole down




Though it does initially run into some problems

"Oh Dude, I'm filthy"

That would also be a good name for my autobiography

Also how I start some of the messages I send on dating apps

The Slasher is stopped tho and dramatically unmasked as




I love Cassie's "Nice read, Velma" reaction to this moment

I'm picturing his funeral being something right out of Heathers

I also love that there's a legal system in place in this universe to hand over Slasher Disposal to people qualified for it. This is totally in keeping with this universe because absolutely everything is real here. Chucky, the Cenobites, aliens, zombies, cyborgs, superheroes, Vampirella...they all exist in this universe and are more or less at least semi-public knowledge.

So of course there's a statute on the law books dealing with what to do when it turns out a serial killer is actually an UNDEAD serial killer

And everything works out in the end




A happy ending!

And

As anyone who knows me intimately can tell you...I love a happy ending

Comments

[dcbanacek]

Reminds me of a story in the John Byrne run on "She-Hulk".

[starwolf_oakley]

For a long time, in Code-approved comics blood was colored not-red. Often black.

And there was a MASTER OF KUNG-FU special called "Bleeding Black."

Just saying.

[icon_uk]

There's even a trope about it

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlackBlood

The first attempt to dub Saint Seiya fot the US market featured a lot of black blood or else, and this is a fun one, neon green coloured blood which was said wasn't a character's blood but their "fighting spirit" leaking out.

[super_fly]

Nothing more romantic than sitting by a campfire and watching a reenactment of Fargo

This makes it look a lot easier than the movie did though.

[tinygaylaura]

And they say romance is dead...

[deh_tommy]

For some reason, I keep confusing Locke & Key for this series.

[iamrman]

Heh-heh. Weiner.

It's fumny you should post about this because I got the omnibuses in a Comixology sale. Probably a spoopy comics special or something.

[tinygaylaura]

Way to go!

[iamrman]

I already had the first omnibus. I think one of the story arcs was about a Slasher during Spring Break. I thought that was fun. Violence, adult situations and swears. All the good shit!

[pteppic]

I really quite like this.
This is the kind of seasonal story I can get behind.

[jeyl]

I like the bit where Cassie refers to the TV show 'Forensic Files' as proof that sewing a tube of deer's blood will work on fooling a mad doctor. She's so insistent that it will work that they both 'tried' to watch the episode in question together.

[tinygaylaura]

They quickly got distracted ;)

[cainofdreaming]

Wertham. Suuubtle.

[tinygaylaura]

I loved that giant "Fuck you" to that hateful old prick

[cainofdreaming]

Oh, if there is justice in the universe someone is already doing that. With a pitchfork.

[tinygaylaura]

I mean if there is a hell, that's definitely where he wound up