Avengers 1,000,000 B.C. #1

[lordultimus]

Comments

[nyadnar17]

I don't think there is anything about this I like.

[lordultimus]

At least it's better than replacing Gaea altogether?

[beyondthefringe]

What I got from this:
Thor has three mommies (Freya, Gaea, and the Phoenix) and Odin's still an asshole.

[lonewolf23k]

"Gee, Thor, how come Marvel lets you have Three Mommies?"

[thehood]

At least they didn't replace Gaea.

[thanekos]

Art's competent, storytelling's coherent, and continuity's a living document.

[stubbleupdate]

How long have they been threatening us with this?

[cainofdreaming]

Avengers 1,000,000 B.C. has really become Jason Aaron's fetch, hasn't it?

[bruinsfan]

I can only hope every other writer and editor at Marvel continues ignoring it. Maybe it'll eventually just go away, like Millar's Fantastic Four stuff did.

[thehood]

We also had a better caveman Hulk in Ewing's Immortal Hulk: Time of Monsters.

[beyondthefringe]

And what's more, not only do we have the 1,000,000 versions of Starbrand, Odin, Ghost Rider, Black Panther, Phoenix, Iron Fist and the Sorcerer Supreme...

this also drops mention of similar versions of Moon Knight, Namor (an Atlantean warrior anyway), and Man-Thing, who've teamed up with the Iron Fist in what I can only imagine to be Defenders 1,000.000 BC.

All this and still no Spider-Totem 1,000,000 BC... yet.

[super_fly]

I want there to be an Iron Man equivalent who's basically used his prehistoric genius to wear a layer of thick tree bark or something that makes him superior to everyone else who didn't think of doing that.

[blues32]

He'll need weapons too. Like hidden slings or arm mounted stone axes.

[cainofdreaming]

Or two sticks that he can rub together to produce the power of... fire!

Or would that work better for Jim Hammond 1,000,000 B.C.?

[blues32]

Yeah, I thought about him using fire but...he's wearing tree bark armor. That can't be a good idea.

[cainofdreaming]

Well, he is supposed to be prehistoric Tony...

[super_fly]

"In a freak accident that involved tripping and falling onto a roaring campfire, Hrngh Horgmh found himself imbued with the properties of flame and henceforth was known as the Human Torch!

For about 5 seconds before collapsing and succumbing to an agonising death."

[blues32]

A Prehistoric Man-Thing, at least, isn't too bizarre. It's the guardian of the Nexus of Realities. Must have been one before Ted.

[deh_tommy]

Would Anansi count?

[numeronone]

"We've got a big arc Kieron's building based on that "Lost Celestial" you established a while ago. If you're that interested in Avengers 1,000000 BC you could tie it in? Maybe explore what was going through that Celestial's mind when they killed it? Add some insight as to how much of the new Celestial's perspective is owed to its' previous self?"

"But I wanna write a Thor story!"

"Fine, forget I asked."

[bruinsfan]

Aren't they building the new Celestial out of the one that died on Earth 4 billion years ago, not the one the prehistoric "Avengers" fought?

[numeronone]

Looking it up, yes, and thank you for the correction. Avengers Mountain is made from The Progenitor, and the Prehistoric Avengers fought his lover, later called The Fallen.

But also: that's still untapped story potential! In thst Frankenstinian way, does the new unnamed Celestial still carry some of the memories of both of them? Wouldn't there be a compelling story hook of seeing the Fallen's dying moments contrasted with the new Celestial's first?

[bruinsfan]

Hopefully so. Given that the Celestials go back through all seven previous iterations of the universe/multiverse, if our heroes aren't using some method to revive memories contained in the body it seems that anything they could program into it would make its mind that of a newborn baby/drooling idiot by Celestial standards.

[numeronone]

...I hope you haven't accidentally spoiled the hilarious ending of A.X.E.

Though I *would* like to see Eshon the Searcher show up at tje eleventh hour and admonish the Avengers for letting the new baby go into his Judgmental phase without proper supervision.

[numeronone]

You can understand my confusion tho - the Progenitor was coloured in a darker shade of metallic green, while the Fallen and the Franken-Celestial are both in classic "Spider-Man Villain" colour scheme of light green and purple.

As a neurodivergent graphic designer, it may be I remember colour schemes better?

[bruinsfan]

Yeah, I can definitely see getting them mixed up. Arishem and The One Above All are the only two I can keep straight by visuals alone.

[gnarll]

I like only one thing here: Gaea is Thors mother, they've backed off from the Phoenix retcon.

[scorntx]

This seems like an awful lot of effort to go to just to make a crackshipfic canon.

[numeronone]

It's just...having read the whole issue, I really don't care for this "the Phoenix chose you, Unnamed and Barely-Developed Redhead Cavewoman, for a reason. If you kept its' fathomless power in check and fought the good fight, one day you could use this cosmic lifegiver...to prevent Thor from dying as a baby!"

Partly it just feels like the same lazy trope we see time and time again - e.g. in that one season of Doctor Who focused on "The Impossible Girl" where it turned out the answer to why she kept coming back from the dead was "I was born to save the Doctor"...

But also, publishing this story - where one woman begs another to be impregnated by a male acquaintance? Because she thinks of herself as too much of a "monster" to have that child herself? And then it turns out that the end-point of her destiny was to literally incubate that child, anyway?

In the current political climate? I'd say that's...fairly tasteless.

[numeronone]

Seriously, if I'm the Phoenix and I can turn lifeless rocks into functioning planets, I'm not moping around in an "Age of Ultron" fashion about my inability to mother a single child.

I'd say my plans would be more along the lines of a cosmic version of:

[agharta75]

Thor is now on the Summers family tree?

[deh_tommy]

And so Thor’s position in the Pym/van Dyne family tree remains secure while also getting a new member along the way. Blessed be the tree with more branches than Yggdrasil itself.

[coldfury]

Wait, what?

[deh_tommy]

Hank Pym created Ultron. Ultron created Vision. Vision married the Scarlet Witch and together they had two kids. One of those kids ended up being the reincarnation of Demiurge. Demiurge is the father of Gaea, who in turn is the mother of Thor. Now you can add the Phoenix Force itself to the Pym family tree.

Unless you count that time Janet van Dyne got stuck in a bad future with Havok and the two had a daughter together who was tragically lost to them when the timeline was corrected. Havok is the brother of Cyclops, and Cyclops was married to Jean Grey, longtime host of the Phoenix.

If you dig deep enough, you’ll find it’s Pyms and Dynes all the way down.

[coldfury]

Hahaha, oh my god.

I assume that it's Billy, right? Someone looked at Billy, and thought that the teenager who is the reborn soul of the not-mutant Scarlet Witch and Synthoid Vision's lost Mephisto-soul shard baby and thought "Let's make him a reincarnation of Demiurge, that sounds like a great idea."

Comics.

[scorntx]

Hold up. Has it ever actually been said that Billy is a reincarnation of the first Demiurge, or was he just taking the name for himself (like he did with Asgardian and Wiccan)?